Dating coach Anwar White says women who like only 1 out of 20 to 50 profiles online are sabotaging themselves. Scarcity mindset makes you cling to imperfect matches. Instead, evaluate boyfriend skills first, then vibe, and treat dating as getting to know vetted people, not finding the one.
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Hey, girl. So I saw this video on TikTok and I was like, oh my gosh, this is exactly what so many women are experiencing while they're dating. But especially the last sentence, which was all about being extremely picky but still managing to pick the wrong ones. And I wanted to highlight how your pickiness is actually hurting you in dating. So I ask many women, how many profiles do you like or you swipe on when you are online dating? And most women will say maybe 1 out of 20. Sometimes some women will say 1 out of 50, and that is killing your dating. And I'll tell you why. If you are only swiping or liking on very few people, the guys that you do like, you will grasp onto them because you have the scarcity mindset, because you know that not a lot of people are going to come that fit your wants or your criteria. So even if this guy is not good, he doesn't have, he's not a good boyfriend or doesn't have the boyfriend skills, you're going to continue to rock with him because he looks good on paper and he aligns with what you think you're supposed to be with. As a dating coach who gets women into relationships every week, I want to let you know that 95% of the time, it's not going to look like the way that you want it to look like, but you are squirting, swiping, as if it is going to. And that's what hurts you and your pickiness. Here's the thing. Most women date first, they're trying to figure out are we a match or not, right? And then they are evaluating whether the guy has the boyfriend skills. In my program, we do it differently. We evaluate whether they have the boyfriend skills first and then we figure out if it's a match later. Again, because if you are connected to him and you have vibes, you're going to think he's a great guy. But then a month, two down the road, you realize he doesn't have the boyfriend skills. But you're too late in the game to get out of it because you are sprung and you got feelings for him instead. I want us to do it differently. And I want us to do it differently to protect your heart. But also I want you to realize that dating, especially online dating, is not personal.
Finding the guy is not the romantic part. Getting to know the guy once you realize that he has the skills to be a great boyfriend and partner, that's the romantic part. So if you are hyper focusing and swiping on the guys that you think are a match or lines with your idealized version of who you're going to be and your pickiness, it's gonna hurt you girl. So let me know in the comments. How many guys do you swipe on when you are going through 20 profiles? And if you want more help with this, please book a call with me. I would love to help you learn how to date differently for a different result.
