This is a transcript of a YouTube video by dating coach Anwar White giving practical dating and courtship advice for women (with attention to Black and Brown women). He criticizes the modern practice of women offering to pay as a test and argues it may reveal a man’s lack of masculine energy or transactional intent. He warns against allowing a payment precedent, advises observing whether a man makes a move after paying (sign of transactional intent), and recommends instead gifting a small, thoughtful present (about $20 or less) around date 3–4 to prompt genuine reciprocity and emotional investment.
This was good.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Oh, I got it.
Oh, you sure?
Yeah, I got you.
Oh, that's nice.
Thanks.
What do you want to do now?
How about dessert?
I'm just gonna go to the washroom.
So I get the bill.
Don't worry. I already got it. When you were in the washro, you.
Didn'T have to do that.
Don't worry about it. Thanks for getting dinner.
Hey, girl, whatever you do, don't do that. This girl has made two fatal mistakes in dating. Now, if the guys see this, they're gonna be like, oh, my God, this is so amazing. You don't want to be with those guys. Trust. I've been a dating coach for 13 years. I'm gonna put you up on game and what I teach my clients in terms of how to navigate reciprocation when it comes to dating and courtship. Okay, Now, I'm Anwar White. I'm a dating coach. I've been helping boys talk to girls and girls talk to boys ever since the elementary school playground. So what I want to let you know is don't ever go for that fakeroo. That was cute in the 90s and the 2000s. It's not going to work now because more guys are in their feminine energy. So when you go for that fake aoo, one out of three guys is going to let you have a girl and let you pay. And I know you don't want that. You want to test if he's in his true masculine energy. A guy that's in his true masculine energy is actually going to be offended if even if you try to offer. So, like, don't do it and see if he is going to show up for you. And once he pays, you also want to evaluate whether he's going to make a transactional or not and try to get intimate or make a move on you. If he does that, please understand that he's not ready for a relationship. He's ready for a business deal. 2. She paid for the date. She paid for the boba at the end. My granny said, how you start is how you finish. You never want to set a precedent in terms of an expectation of wanting or paying on the date. And this is especially true for black and brown women who probably saw a model in their mother paying for most everything as they were growing up. So I want to make sure that we're breaking that generational curse. So I know you're like, anwar, what do you want me to do instead? How can I navigate this dating scene? Girl, I got you come a little close, girl. Now, this is what I teach my clients. And maybe it'll go viral, maybe not. But, girl, this is what I want you to do on date three or date four. What I want you to do is I want you to get him a small gift, a gift that's $20 or less, based on his hobbies, his passions, his inside joke that you have. Guys never get dates, so this is going to touch his heart. Don't get him money. Don't pay for things, girl. He can go to his job tomorrow and get money and do that for himself. He needs to be considered, and he needs to have his heart held. And getting him a small, thoughtful gift is going to do that. Okay? Please understand, guys don't get gifts. So once this happens, he's going to be inspired to want to give to you and accelerate this courtship process. Now, I have a whole dating process in terms of from date one to exclusivity and how I teach my clients how to date. But I want to let you know, I'm actually more interested in understanding how you navigate this. Test this out, ladies. And please, I want you to understand something.
97% of the guys out there you're not going to have a third date with. So this is something that is going to only happen after the third date. Date three or date four. Yeah. Do this and you will see your courtship process flourish. This is a concept that I call three to one. For every three things that he does, you do one thing that should happen especially during the courtship and early relationship phase days. I hope this helps.
