A dating coach (Annemarie) presents a five-level "hierarchy of men"—modeled on Maslow's hierarchy—to help Black and Brown professional women categorize men they meet. Levels range from hyper-physical (level 1) through underemployed/safety-focused (level 2, ~20%), socially disconnected (level 3), outwardly successful but inwardly unconfident 'esteem' men (level 4), to self-actualized, growth-minded men with balanced energy (level 5); she urges clients to reach level five and offers consultations and a podcast for more detail.
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Hey, my name is Annemarie. I'm a dating coach for smart and successful black and brown women. And I wanted to go on here and talk a little bit about my hierarchy of men. This is the way that I teach my clients how to categorize men so that you know who you are dealing with. Okay. And please, I want you all to know that whoever you're dealing with the most, that's probably the level that you're at. And we want to get you to a level five. And that's what I help my clients do. So if you want help with that, you can definitely book, book a consultation called Links in my bio. So interesting enough, this actually like aligns with Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And so the first level is the physiological. These are the guys that are just hyper focused on the physical and very sexual. And this represents about a third of the guys out there. Unfortunately, the second level, or level two are the guys that are like all about safety. So these are the guys that are underemployed, unemployed, sometimes some of us might call them the hobosexuals of the world. These guys represent about 20% or a fifth of the guys that are out there. The third level are the guys that. And this aligns with the love and belonging level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The guys that don't have a lot of relationships. So those guys that don't have any friends, don't have any contact with their family. Now if the family is toxic, that makes sense. But you will get a sense of these guys because sometimes the emotional cues won't necessarily be there there because they don't really know how to be in a relationship with people. And you will get that when you ask about friends and family and you try to meet them. So that's level three. Level four are the esteem guys. And I want to take a little bit of time to focus on this because most of you all are hyper focused on esteemed guys thinking that they're it and they're not. So the esteemed guys are the guys that actually look very successful on the outside. Right. They've done everything that they should do. They went into investment banking or consulting afterward. Right. They generally have quite a bit of money. They're very ambitious, but they don't know who they are inside. I come, I kind of think about them as the BMWs. They look good on the outside, but when you look in the interior, girl, it leaves something to be desired. Right? They don't know who they are. They really actually want to be artists, but they don't know how to do that and they don't have any internal confidence and they're compensating for their confidence based on the things that they're doing. Yeah. So those are the esteemed guys. So don't get tricked on that. Level five guys. These are the guys that are quote unquote, self actualized. And these are the guys that I want you to focus on. These are the guys that have a growth mindset, that are focused on their external as well as their internal growth. These are the guys that also have a good mix of masculine and feminine energy. So what does that mean? That means I'm emotionally available, but I also know how to take charge and follow through and make things happen. Right. These are the self actualized guys. And like I was saying before, whoever you're dealing with the most is probably the level that you're at. And if you need help getting to a level five, definitely get in contact with me. But let me know who are the guys that you deal with the most? I hope this was helpful. And I have a podcast episode on my get yout Guy coaching podcast all about Anwar's hierarchy of men. So check that out if you want more detail around this.
