Anwar White, a dating coach for Black and Brown women, critiques the common dating idea of "Matching Energies," calling it a trauma response and a symptom of weak boundaries. He advises women not to lower themselves to match someone else's lower emotional/behavioral level, to maintain their own standards, and to politely disengage (e.g., wish them "best of luck") if a partner can't match or exceed their energy. The clip ends with a call-to-action to book coaching and comment about viewers' experiences.
Chapters
Rule number 29, respectfully, I don't go to above and beyond for people anymore. I meet you as far as you meet me. I speak to you as much as you speak to me. I include you as much as you include me.
Hey, girl. Now, most of you will actually make this your rule number one instead of your rule 29, but I want to let you know that it needs to be your Rule 0, which means you shouldn't have this rule. Matching Energies is a trauma response girl, and I'm going to explain exactly why that is. Now, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I'm a dating coach for black and brown women, and I help women get into the best relationship of their lives. Now, what does Matching Energies really look like? Matching Energies, it's all about putting your real self to the side so that you can protect yourselves from being either emotionally or physically harmed. And that's really what we're doing when we're trying to match up someone's energy in dating and relationships. I don't want you to do that. Anytime that I hear that women are Matching Energies, I. I know that this is because we don't have boundaries. Now, if you're up here and someone is down here, we don't go down there to meet them at their level. We keep where we are. This is a boundary issue. And we see if they're able to match or exceed our energy or not. If they can't, we have to send them what I call the best of luck. Hey, great getting to know you. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling a connection right now, but I want to wish you the best of luck. Here's the thing. If you're Matching Energies, please know that there's healing and there's boundary work to do. And if you want to learn how to do this, definitely book a call with me. But let me know in the comments. Did you or do you match Energies in dating and relationships?
