A short monologue by dating coach Anwar White addressing whether women—particularly Black women—can date while remaining celibate. The speaker stresses risks tied to sexual activity in the Black community (STI/HIV exposure, maternal mortality, incarceration-related transmission), frames sex as "expensive," and advises waiting for exclusivity and delaying childbirth until long-term commitment (e.g., married at least two years).
Chapters
Ayo said, do you think it's possible to truly be celibate and date a great guy these days? For some of us, yes. For others.
I guess not, girl. But here's what I will tell you.
I was thinking about doing a video about this, but I think it's very important and it's one of the reasons why I'm a dating coach for women of color, specifically black women.
You have to understand that black women, your sex is very expensive.
It's very costly.
Do you understand that 60% of these black men are not wearing condoms? Do you understand that many of these black men are DL.
Do you understand that many of these men who go into jail at a 20% STI rate, come out of jail at an 80% STI rate? And that when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everybody in the community?
Black women represent more than 50% of all HIV cases among women.
Do you understand how dangerous it is for a black woman to actually.
Have a baby?
What did they say the maternal mortality rate is? 70 out of 100,000. I believe.
That is the same as three and a half years in the field as a police officer. That is the same as seven years as a firefighter. That is the same as 13 years as a construction worker. That is the same as 53 years. The military on deployment. You want to go to war for these men to have this baby?
Clock it.
Your sex is expensive.
It's costly.
It's deadly.
So when I say things like don't have sex until you're in an exclusive relationship.
I mean it.
When I say don't have a baby with a man until you've been in married to him for at least two years, I mean it.
Trust that.
Someone said, please make a video about this. I guess I will, honey.
And if I'm saying this, I'm saying this out of passion. I want y' all to be self safe.
Yeah. I said two years. Because do you know how, girl, most black marriages are getting divorced within the first two years?
Girl.
Your sex is expensive.
These men are just trying to get it in. And I will tell you something that maybe you may or may not understand. Let me know.
Most men will have sex because they're stressed.
Do you know how stressed black men are?
They're the most stressed out of everybody.
So they're having sex all the time to de stress.
Whereas many women actually, if they're stressed, they don't want to do it.
Yeah.
So.
Girl.
Your sex is expensive.
It's worth a million dollars.
Right?
Think about that. So when you have sex with a guy, I want. Because here's the thing. If you are going to put insurance out on yourself, it would be a million dollars. So I want you to ask yourself, do I want to give this guy a million dollars right now?
