A comedic dating-advice monologue arguing (tongue-in-cheek) that penis size correlates with the severity of heartbreak and that "size matters" depending on both the man's origin and the woman's body. The speaker lists various racial/ethnic groups as examples in a humorous, provocative way and closes by inviting viewer opinions in the comments.
Chapters
Girl, size doesn't matter.
Psych. Opposite day. It does, girl. It really does. But not in the way that you think. Yeah. And here's the thing. I'm not talking about who's, like, knocking on your door or who's hitting the walls. I'm talking about the fact that. Okay, I'm gonna tell you something. I have a theory. And the theory is that the bigger the D, the bigger the heartbreak, right? What do I mean by that? Well, you know how some of these guys are packing? Well, what. What I have noticed as a dating coach is that they will break your heart the hardest, right? I don't know what it is. Maybe they don't have a lot of blood going to their heart and it's going all down there. So they don't know how to take care of their heart and yours. But that is my theory. And you know, I'm a statistics major, so I'm going to give you a graphical representation of what this looks like. Okay? Girl, so it kind of looks like this. So, like, right above me, those are the guys that are packing but are going to break your heart the most. So the cans, right, the Jamaicans, the Puerto Ricans, the Dominicans, the Ghanaians, the Nigerians, the Italians, girl, they're probably gonna break your heart. And then over here, right on the lower part, those are where like the South Koreans and the Filipinos are. Yeah. So that's my theory. Let me know if you think that it is correct. And then also size matters. Based on the woman that is actually receiving the size. Right? Because guess what? All chonchas are not created equal. And some are bigger, some are smaller. And the research says that the longest chonchas goes in this, the white girls. White girls are packing. And then the black girls, and then the Hispanics and then the Asians. Now, in terms of circumference, right, Number one is the Hispanics. Number two is the white girls. Number three is the Asian girls. And the last place is the black girls. Y' all tight. Keep it tight eyed, honey. So. So size matters. And it depends on where the guy is from, but also what you're working with. This is all fun, but in the comments, let me know. Does size matter to you? Because who cares what I think? I'm just some rando on the Internet girl.
