Dating coach Anwar White (13–14 years' experience) advises women to 'do the opposite' of conventional romantic-media conditioning. He gives a list of prescriptive rules: butterflies indicate stress and are a red flag; sex early can reduce a man's bonding (vasopressin) and decrease his interest; unscheduled calls signal low priority; early physical advances may indicate grooming; women should lead emotionally and set boundaries; date multiple people simultaneously ('Olympic dating' — gold/silver/bronze); and prioritize long-term compatibility and emotional intelligence over short-term chemistry (which he claims fades within ~18 months). He closes with an invitation to book a consultation.
Chapters
Girl, whatever you've been taught about dating, I want you to do the complete opposite of it. Why do I say this? Because most of the advice, the programming conditioning that you're taught in Disney movies or rom coms are wrong and keep you disempowered. So I wanted to share with you what I've learned as a dating coach for 13 or 14 years now and as your fairy godbrother. What I have learned that helped my clients go from, you know, upset and frustrated and single to booed up, happy and ready to rock and roll because they've learned how to do it differently for a different result, you got to do the opposite. What does this mean? It means that, girl, if you have butterflies, that is a bad sign. That's a stress response, and you shouldn't be feeling that with a guy. And if you do, he's not it. And if he were it, you would be with the guy that is giving you butterflies. But you probably aren't. Number two, if you are having sex with guys because you think that they're going to like you more when you do that, please understand that they're actually going to like you less because chemically, their bonding hormone, their vasopressin, is going to decrease, which is going to make them want to disconnect with you. 3. If a guy is calling you unscheduled, he doesn't care about you. He's not thinking about you and prioritizing your convenience. He's thinking about what's convenient for him, and he's probably not the guy for you. 4. If he is making moves on you on the first date, he's probably grooming you, which means that he is not being respectful of your boundaries. As someone who gets women into relationships every week, oftentimes I hear he didn't make a move on me until day two or three or even four. Those guys overly respect your boundaries. That's husband material.
If you are thinking that you need to be some guy's peace, don't do it, girl. You want to stress him out. Why do I say this? Because when you stress a guy out, his vasopressing will increase and he will actually feel more bonded to you. When you hear a guy say, be my peace, girl, don't be his peace, stress him the hell out. Next. Women are the leaders in their relationships. I know a lot of people are like, men are the leaders. No, girl, they're not. You are the emotional leader. You create the emotional depth of your relationships and you set the pace of the relationship based on your Boundaries. I always say it like this. If men are driving the car, you are either the go pedal or the brake pedal, or you are the woman in the passenger seat that has a GPS and creates the direction of where the car is going to go. Nothing happens without you. This is important because I want you to stay empowered in your love life. Next. What I also want you to know is that the days are gone where you are only dating one guy at a time. You're going to need to date at least three guys at a time. I call it Olympic dating. I want you to date a gold medalist, a silver medalist, and a bronze medalist and see who wins. Yeah. Also, I want you to date based on compatibility, not chemistry. Chemistry is dangerous because guess what? The toxic and narcissistic guys can have chemistry with anybody. And you're going to think that y' all are vibing because y' all have great chemistry. No, he has chemistry with everybody. You want to prioritize compatibility, emotional intelligence, right? Respect of boundaries, nurturing attention. Right? Unconditional love. Those are boyfriend skills that I want you to be evaluating. Chemistry fades within 18 months. Chemically. I want you to be dating for 30 to 40 years from now, not just because he's hot right now or that y' all are vibing now. This is very different than maybe what you have been taught before. But please understand that when you do things this way, you will actually create much more success in your dating life than if you just listened to what Disney told you. I hope this helps. And if you want to learn how to date differently for a different result, definitely book a consultation call with me.
