Dating coach Anwar White says women shouldn't stay silent on early dates just to seem appealing. Speaking up about your thoughts and feelings helps you gauge whether a man can handle the real you, and prevents trust problems later when you finally show more of yourself.
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Man is talking, you have to just give them because that's what men do in conversation. They just with each other. They do the grunt and nod, but women will interject constantly and it's okay. It's easy for them to do that because they're multi tracking. They can keep track of the whole conversation. But when you interject with a man, even if you're encouraging them or agreeing with them, it gets very confusing with them and they stop and they kind of look at you like, shut the up. It's hilarious.
So actually this is not hilarious. Please do not do this. My name is Anwar. I'm a dating coach for smart and successful women, specifically women of color. And I want to let you know, you do not, you are not his homeboy, you are not his bro, right? You are potentially his girlfriend and potentially his wife. Which means that you actually want to share your thoughts and your feelings with this man, especially on the first couple of dates, so you can evaluate whether he is emotionally available and sensitive and will able to hold space for you or not. Most men don't have that, but many women are not being vulnerable and doing that. So they're not able to evaluate whether he has that skill or not. So many women, especially on the first dates, are playing cute and mute. And that's not a strategy that actually works in dating because you don't get to see his emotional availability, but also because it's not you. You have thoughts, you have feelings that you need to express and communicate. And so many women aren't doing that. But then as courtship goes and continues and you're in a relationship, you start to show more and more of yourself. And then what happens is he gets confused and the credibility is lost to the relationship, as is the trust. Because you are one way at the beginning of the courtship and you're a different way now. And he doesn't know who to believe and who he's actually courting or in a relationship with. So in these dates, I want the conversation ratio to be 50 50. And if a guy cannot handle that, he's not the guy for you. Let me know in the comments. How do, what do you give when you're on the first date? Are you giving cute and mute? Or are you giving, you know, Chatty Cathy? Or are you giving 50 50? I hope this helps.
