Dating coach Anwar White breaks down what common dating behaviors actually mean. If he says he's busy, he's not interested. Vague plans like "let's get together Tuesday" mean you're a bookmark. Flying someone out reverses who should be pursuing.
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Girl, we're gonna learn today. A lot of these men are running game on you. And you're thinking that some of the things that they're doing are good signs, but in reality, they're not great signs. So as a dating coach for 15 years, as your fairy godbrother, I'm gonna put you on this game, girl. I'm gonna let you know what they really mean, and I'm going to reframe what it is so that it really sticks with you and you'll never make these dating mistakes again. If a man ever tells you that he's busy, take it as an insult. Take it as if he's called you the B word. Instead of busy. Pretend he said bitch. He's called you a bitch. He does not like you. Don't ever text a man or call a man while you're in courtship with him. He is supposed to court you. So anytime you text or call a man and you initiate that, I need you to think of yourself as a telemarketer. You are telemarketing these men and you don't need to. If a guy is texting you all day, every day, more than three times a day, I need you to understand that the guy that is texting you, he is either underemployed or unemployed. And if he is employed, please understand he will not get a promotion because he's texting you all day. And you want a man who works. If a guy says, oh yeah, let's get together on Tuesday, please understand that he has made you into a bookmark and he has closed the book. And you know when he opens a book back up, when it's a rainy day, you are not a priority. Leave that man. It is not a date. Don't put it in your head as if it is a date. It is not. If a guy asks for pictures, it's not because he thinks that you're beautiful. It is because he is a prisoner and only prisoners want pictures so they can jo to them. That is not your future husband. If you're on a date and a guy touches you or makes a move on you on the first date, I want you to understand that he is a groomer. He is testing your boundaries and your limits. As a dating coach who gets three to four women into relationships every week, I will tell you, first date, the guy never makes a move and that generally is the guy that they end up being with. If you're in a long distance relationship with a guy and he says he wants to fly you out and you want to get flew out. Please, please understand it's not a flex. He is ordering you as if you were an Amazon package Prime. He needs to come to you first. Always. If a man tells you that he wants to take it slow sexually, please understand that he is either poor, he either has ED or he has a small P and he is waiting for you to fall in love with him before he shows any of those things off. Don't get caught up. Men look for sex and fall in love along the way. Women look for love and have sex along the way. It has always been this way. If a guy is fading away from you, I want you to think about him in the same way that we saw Leo die in the end of Titanic. Peace fading away. Let him fade and freeze and drown to death and you be Rose and you watch him do that and be okay with it and live. If you find yourself obsessed with the man, it is not because he is the one. It is because you never felt safe with him and you felt out of control and it's a trauma response. This person is dangerous. He's not the one. Now I hope that those reframings were helpful for you as you navigate your dating journey. Let me know if I missed any and if this was helpful. Be well.
