A short YouTube monologue (by Anwar White) telling Black women that it is not their job to heal or save Black men. The speaker repeats the core claim emphatically, warns that rescuing men can lead to resentment, and urges women to focus on self-actualization and set boundaries (uses lifeguard metaphor and cultural references).
Chapters
Joa said, I think we should be gentle with black men too. Help heal them too. Let's elevate everything. It's not your job to heal black men.
I need. If you're a black woman, I need you to understand that it is not your job to heal black men. That's their job.
That's their job.
A lot of black women will say, oh my God, they have it so hard. You have it harder.
You have it harder now. What.
We don't. You don't need to be gentle with black men.
If you're gentle with them, you're treating them like boys and not men.
You actually need to treat them like men.
If you are going to be gentle with them, you are going to be.
Babying them.
You can do that if you want.
Go ahead and help them heal. Do everything that you can for them. What did Kanye say?
Y' all can finish it in the chat.
That's what he'll do.
Mm.
That's what he's gonna do.
Not your job.
Everything that you want to do for him, you have to do for yourself. And when you do that for yourself, you will attract more self actualized men.
Trust that I'm. I am sick and tired of black women feeling like they have to.
Save these men.
No man wants to be saved by a woman.
He won't just resent you. He will hate you in the same way that he hates. He hates and loves his mother at the same time.
You don't want to be that girl.
You want to give him the space to self actualize himself so that he can feel proud of himself to attain and achieve the things that he must do to fulfill his purpose as a man.
Trust.
I'm sharing this with you because I don't think a lot of people are going to tell you that he will hate you.
That's why those nice girls that do everything for them and then they get dumped and then the next girl, the guy marries them within six months.
That's it.
I think it is wildly insulting.
That you think that you can save anyone.
When you think this way, then this is very important.
It may be because you want to be saved.
And you're projecting onto these men what you want for yourself.
Yeah, girl, you're not Jesus.
But the gag is, girl, that.
No one is going to save you.
A man can't save you.
A man can't save you. You have to save yourself.
So I will tell you something.
When you go to lifeguard school, school for the girls who can swim, no shade.
They will tell you.
That if you can do it, don't jump in the water.
And they will tell you that because when you try to save someone, the person that you are trying to save will drown you to save themselves.
So they teach a lot of lifeguard to throw that little buoy out first.
