ENCORE: Which Girl Are You?

Hey, girl. Welcome to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. My name is Amwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

For those that don't know me, my name is Anwar White. I am the CEO and founder of get your guy coaching. I am a dating and relationship coach, and I help smart and successful women really get their guy, get into amazing, committed relationships with high quality men by being themselves and really owning all the all of their power. So why am I on tonight? What is really going on? I have been doing a lot of research and what I've been doing over the past couple of days is I've actually been accumulating all of the hundreds of clients that I've worked with and really understanding what those patterns have been so that I can come to you tonight and I can talk about what sort of patterns happen with what sort of person. And I'm doing this because I think it's important for you to understand if you are a certain kind of girl, what the actual struggles are, what we need to pinpoint so that you can achieve your love goals. Right. What your triggers are so you know exactly why you may be feeling the way that you're feeling. Okay, so that's what I want to do tonight. I want to go over my three girls. Please. As I'm going through all of these different women, I want to see if any of this resonates with you. Okay? So if it does, let me know. Put something in the comments. This is me. I'm that girl. Please. You're snatching my wig. You're calling me out. I feel attacked right now, whatever it may be. Right. Because I want you to know what steps you need to take to achieve your levels. This is why we're having this session tonight. So I have three girls, three women that I generally work with and that I see are having some struggles when it comes to love, dating, and relationships. Okay? The three of them, I will call out. So the first one is the nice girl. Right. The second one is the hard girl, and the third one is the hurt girl. Okay? So just put something in the comments if you feel like you may be one of these girls, like we're all family here, you can just kind of speak your Truth. And no one's gonna judge you because we're all trying to figure it all out. Okay? So please, in the comments, let me know. Do you think you're the nice girl? Do you think you're the hard girl? Or do you think that you're the hurt girl? Right. Each one of these girls has their own strengths and their own opportunities to really help them get into an amazing relationships and get love. Okay? So think about that. Put it in the comments. Okay. I'm seeing some nice girls out there. Someone saying all of the above. Girl, I'm not taking that. I want. I guess what will happen is when I go through them, I think things will clear up a little bit more for you. This is important because each one of these girls has different things that they need to work on. I'm seeing some hard girls out there. I was a hard girl. I'm very familiar with what a hard girl looks like. So I'm going to go through all of them and then let me know if you.

Are leaning toward one girl over another. Okay. So I'm going to really go through it. Okay. I have a ton of notes here just in case I forget everything because I want to really include everything, so. So if you see my eyes going down here, it's not because I haven't studied for my test. It's because there's actually a lot of information in here, and I want to make sure that I'm getting it 100% right because this took hours to do. And I want to make sure I'm giving you all the information. Okay. Okay. So let's talk about the nice girl. Who is the nice girl? The nice girl is the people pleaser. Why is she a people pleaser? She is compensating for a deficiency that she thinks that she has. Even though it might not be a deficiency Right in her head. She thinks I'm not lovable because of something, and because of that, I have to be nice to everybody so that they will like me. Okay.

That is not the way to go when it comes to love and relationships. Right. If you're the nice girl and you don't know that you are already whole and, like, perfectly imperfect, then the person that you're kind of engaging with and trying to connect with is not going to be able to see you as a whole person as well. Right. This girl needs confidence, and confidence is a module in my program that really focuses on making sure that you're coming correct. I'm sorry. I'm getting text messages from my clients because they go on all of these dates and I require them to reach out to me so we can do a date download after their date. So if you see me doing this, it's because all of my clients are going on all of these crazy, amazing dates. Okay, back to nice girl. Okay? So she needs confidence. She needs to embody what the confidence really is and what it looks like for her. Right? Let's talk about communication from the nice girl. Okay, so how does she communicate? She doesn't. She doesn't speak about how she feels and what she thinks. And nice girls don't do this because they don't want to rock the boat. They want to be considered Pollyanna nice girl. No drama, no contention, no anything, right? Unfortunately, the guy is going to feel that that is emotional dishonesty and it will create disconnection because he can't trust that you will be truthful about how you feel, how you communicate. Right? He's going to go away, he's going to leave once that happens. What does this mean? This means that this girl also needs to work on her vulnerability, right? Being able to speak up and also be vulnerable in those moments that you're feeling a certain kind of way and thinking a kind of way, right? This nice girl also apologizes for no reason, right? For example, if somebody knocks into her, she's the one who's gonna say sorry, right? If there are any nice girls who do this, I want you to raise your hand, right? Or let's say you get disconnected on the phone, right? You call back and you say, oh, I'm so sorry. When it was actually a technology that disconnected the phone. It wasn't your fault, right, nice girl, right? We've got to take up space here, right? And not feel like everything is your fault. Okay? So what does the nice girl think about men? She wants to please them. She's focused on them. The men are the first priority. She is focused on trying to just do for them so that they stay happy.

As my mom would say, wrongo dongo. Why is this a problem? Because as a woman, you need to be self centered in this love game. He actually wants to please you. But if you're so focused on trying to please him, it's like you're giving masculine energy. Because giving is providing and giving. Then it becomes a competition of giving, giving, giving. And if you're giving to him, he will either try to compete with you and try to out give you and then feel inadequate, or he's going to make you his mother and become a teenager or A Peter Pan, as I like to call it. Right? We don't want that. We don't want that. What does a nice girl need so that she's not making him a priority and putting him on a pedestal? She needs boundaries. She needs to work on her boundaries. I got a module in that for my program. Alright, nice girl. Yeah, let's talk about work. Let's talk about work. She's a hard worker. Why is she a hard worker? She's a hard worker because she thinks that people will like her based on her product, her work product, her work outcomes. Not because she's a naturally hard worker. She's just working hard so that people will like her work and therefore like her. This is how she approaches work. Yeah, we gotta do something different. I have a nice girl that I'm working with now. She works at Google and she literally has been trying to prove herself and working until the middle of the night, even though no one at Google does that, because she wants to be liked, even though she's already proven herself. I'm giving you patterns here. I'm giving you patterns. Okay, nice girl. Let's talk about how the nice girl thinks about dating and relationships. Okay? She's a hopeless romantic. She's a hopeless romantic. And if we're being 100% honest here, maybe a little bit desperate, right?

And she's in a rush, she wants it done already. She wants the fairy tale, she wants the romance. She doesn't want to go through the journey. She wants to live her love life as if it were in a movie. Let's talk about sex for the nice girl, okay? Sex is really important. And also because she's prioritizing the man so much, she might not know fully what she wants in the bedroom, she might not know what completely gives her pleasure because she's so focused on making sure that he's good, that he's happy, that he's satisfied, that he gets.