Flirting 101 - Talk Yo Ish!

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week, you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can. You guessed it. Get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

Hello, my loves, and welcome to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. It is me, Anwar Wyatt, your dating coach. I'm here because I want to make sure that when you start this year in dating, that you're starting it. And we're starting it with play, with, flirt, with banter. Because the gag is most of y' all aren't flirting. And we're dating here, ladies. So what that means is we're gonna have to bring a little bit of that tension that. That flirt, that playfulness. Otherwise, girl, you're giving networking, you're giving. I'm at work. I'm talking to a colleague. We don't want that. We want flirt. We want tension. We want romance here. And it means that we got to learn how to flirt. So I wanted to share with you a recording that I did a little bit of time ago around kind of potential responses that you can have while you're flirting. I also grade the ladies on command when they give me certain responses, so you get a sense of what might be good responses in flirting and what might not be good responses in flirting and how to make sure that you're thinking about it in a way that can be fun. Because a lot of y' all are not having fun in dating. It's because you. You don't know how to flirt or you don't feel comfortable flirting. And I want to offer something to you, and this is why I love the app so much, because in the apps, you can practice your flirt game. Yeah. What is required to feel good in flirting is safety. And I want to honor the fact that many of us might not feel safe just as black and brown individuals, but also with men. And so, again, the apps are a good opportunity for you to learn how to feel safe while you are flirting. And I want you to use that opportunity to make sure that you. Your game is on lock. Because, girl, if you're just exchanging knowledge and information with these men on the apps, it's giving slack, it's giving Microsoft Teams, and we get to give something new and different, because I know I am 98% sure that y' all talking your ish with your friends and your family, and that's a part of you. And at the end of the day, if you're smart and successful, you don't need a man to take care of you, but you do need a man. Or you might want a man to make you feel good. And play is part of that, especially if you are missed responsibility. You got a lot going on at work. You got other responsibilities in the community or with family. You want to be able to be home with your person, and part of that is being able to be playful to Riz, to talk your shit, to rag on each other, to tease. Right, to flirt. That's what this is about. And I want to make sure that we're able to practice while you're dating. So listen up to this session, and I hope that you find it fun, enlightening, and, you know, informational and beneficial for you in your dating and love journey. All right, let me know how you feel about it. And also let me know, either via IG or through this podcast, let me know what your word of the year is. My word is world domination, because that's what I'm going to be giving in 2025. Are you ready? All right, let's get to flirting. All right, let's do a little flirting, because I feel like the girls don't know how to flirt. So if a guy comes up to you and you say, hi, how you doing? What are you saying? What are you saying? I need to know right now. Someone said hi. Someone said, hi. Hi. I'm good. How are you? Fine. Don't say fine, Patrice. You got it, girl. Now, she said, I'm better now. That's the answer. I'm doing well now. How are you? Have to add on to that. Don't just answer. Give a question back. Right? I'm feeling better now. How are you? Boom. Now we have some momentum for the girls who said, good, how are you? Or fine or good, y' all got Cs. For the girls who C plus, B minus. You said fine, you got a D. Mean giving. Mean. If you said good, now you got an A. Okay? Gigi said, I'm saying I'm okay, girl. That's F response. Okay? The girl who said, as good as you look. No, don't do that. We don't give. If a guy is approaching you, we don't want to give him a compliment off the bat. It's too much, it's too thirsty, and it means we're pursuing already. Don't do that. Wait till he gives you some. And, like, he needs to give you more compliments, more love, more attention before we give him a little bit something back. We can't go out the gate giving him everything because then guess what? He's being pursued by us. Guess what? We've already pedestalized him and put him above us. And the gag about flirting is that you have to be the queen and you always have to make him feel like he is.

Like, inspire him. But know that your status is actually on the pedestal, right? He's the knight, you're the queen, right? If you're already giving him the compliment from the get go, you're kissing the ring of the king. S says, flirting off the bat really turns me off. Well, girl, if he can't flirt, girl, he can't show you that he's into you. Y' all need to start getting really comfortable with men flirting with you. Here's the thing, and this is what I told my client before, and I think I want to tell you all this as well. Flirting doesn't have to be adversarial. Y' all are acting like when a guy flirts with you, you need a shield.

Right? You need something to block it. Put this book up here.

What y' all really need to do? What y' all really need to do, you need to serve like matador, right? Because it's all a game.

Olay. Yeah. Let them run toward you and then give them the allay, girl. Yeah. Not a shield. Not a shield. Girl, you gotta play with it and know that you're in full control. Yes, honey, with the oa.

No more shields. Okay? Let's. Let's keep on going. Let's keep on going. Okay? If a guy goes. If a guy goes, oh, my God, you are so beautiful. What are we saying? What's the response back?

What's the response back?

How do we flirt back?

I said someone said, thanks. Thanks. Thanks is actually a C response. Thank you is actually a B minus response.

Laughing. Okay, that's a B response. Someone said, I know that. That's a D + response. He's gonna be like, oh, this girl's full of herself. He wants to please you. And if he feels like he can't please you, he's gonna step away. Angela said, you look nice too. Mm.

So we want. We want to say thank you so much for the compliment. Do you always. Do you always flatter women so much? Right? Build him up. Your job is to inspire him, Let him know that he has to continue to work for you. The Job of men, the job is to work for you. Right? So anything that he does, you always want to let him know that, like, oh, this is what you do. What more can you do? But in a playful way, Right? Do you always do this? That's the question, right? Do you always flatter, you know, women so much and then he's got to be like, you know, yeah, that's the kind of man that I am. Or I'm just doing me or whatever, you know, what, what have you. Yeah.

Someone said, go on. Angela said, you think so? That's cute, girl. SB plus A minus territory. I appreciate it. Okay. I'm flattered. That's cute. That's cute. You're sweet. If you tell a guy that he's sweet, it's almost like telling him that he's cute. It's not. He wants to be hot for you. Right? So instead of you're sweet, that was not thoughtful. Right. Again, initially, we don't want to compliment him if he's already giving compliment. It's like you're competing versus his compliment, girl. Give him the space to compliment you. That's what he wants to do. But when you feel like you got to go head to head with him on everything, it's too much. Let him do all of this. Let him pursue after two or three compliments that he gives you, then we give him a compliment back. Don't give him one to one compliment. Honey. Yeah?

Makita said, you're making me blush. Love that girl. Love that. Coco said, what about me as beautiful? So now we're putting him on the witness stand. Right now we're interrogating him and we're feeling. You're saying, okay, now you have to prove what you just said. It's too much work. Too much work. Right? Just accept the compliment. Be in our feminine energy. When you talk about what about me is beautiful? You're giving lawyer interrogation at the end of an SUU episode. And he's like, oh, God. Our kids say, are you flirting with me? That's cute. That's cute. So he can put it on the table or not, right? That's cute. You have a good eye. That's cute too. That's cute too. Ada said, positive reinforcement is key. Positive? Yes. You always want to inspire them, girl. Whether you're being flirted with, courted in a relationship, it doesn't stop. Kimberly said, are you always like this or am I the girl of your dreams? Cute, cute, cute. Okay. Ms. Light says, you look familiar. They say, okay, so if a guy Comes up to you and he says, you look familiar. What are y' all saying? What's the T?

What's the T? We'll get. We'll get into. You look familiar. Someone said, oh, really cute. Jen said, I get that a lot. Okay.

A man with good taste.

Yes. That's like a B. You see me in your dreams. Okay, we're getting a little bit hot. Now here's the thing. Everyone flirts in a different way, right? So sometimes you might be a bit bolder or you might keep it cute and more traditional, right? You look familiar.

Really? Where have we seen each other? See how I said, where did you see? I didn't say, where did you see me? Where did we see each other? Right? Meaning we're already. We already are connected. It's almost like destiny a little bit, right? Where did we see each other? So now he has to think of, well, I go here and here and here and here. Do you go those places? And now we're in a conversation. Oh, really? Uh huh. Okay, but we gotta give him a little bit more, right? That's the thing. We can't. We gotta like, he's in this flirt Jacuzzi, right? And we gotta be in the Jacuzzi with him to have some fun. We can't just like, let him. Let them be there by themselves. Yeah.

Archaic. I like this. So we already know each other. Yes. Yes. God, yes.

Yeah.

All right, Y' all are. Y' all are picking this up. I feel like from the first one till now, we're already making mad improvements in our flirting. Do we feel it? Do we understand the mentality.

Now? We haven't even talked about the eyes, the smile, right? Some of the girls, some of y' all are smizing at these guys, but it's looking mean. That's giving skeptical, right? We actually want more wider eye with a smile. Yeah. See that? My little. How my eye went a little like that. That shows interest like that. Did you see that cuteness? That's what you want to give. That was a little bit much. But we want wider eye, we want smiles and we want a tilt in the neck a little bit so he can see the little nape of the neck hunting, right? Like I always say, honey, these men are like vampires. They want to chomp, chomp on that neck, honey.

Twilight tease. Yeah.

But if your eyes are asymmetrical, girl doesn't matter. Girl doesn't matter.

Bieber said my smile is like this. Don't do that, girl. Keep as top teeth resting on your bottom lip. That's it.

Yeah. Tilt to the good side, child. Tilt where your eyes are symmetrical, girl. No shade. Y' all work on your smile in the mirror. You know, when you're getting ready in the morning for work, work on it there. While you're looking in the mirror, you're watching your face. Study yourself, just like the ANTM girls used to do. What are. If a guy says, oh, hey, how's it going? Do you come around here often? What are you saying? I'm trying to. I'm a little bit of everywhere. Okay. Mysterious.

Depends. Lol. Okay. Stay mysterious.

MJ said I could. Give me a reason to. Okay. Little bold Mary says. I said yes. Conversation is dead right there. Yes again, we want to play hot potatoes. So it is something like. If he says something like, you come around here often, you want to let him know if you're. If you like him. Okay, there's two kind of answers. If you're not into him, you want to give a vague response. If you're into him, he's like, yeah, I'm here on Fridays because. Let's say we're at the gym. Yeah, I work out here every Friday. But that's my. That's my gym time. When do you come?

Right. So now we get to understand when each other's coming, and we can align more for future reference, for future times, why most guys might not close. Oftentimes actually won't close the deal on the first go around. It's this. It's the time swirl. We're not in the 90s anymore. Oftentimes it's the second time or the third time that y' all talk or engage, that we're exchanging numbers. So you want to be able. You want him to know. Okay. You want him to know when you're going to be found. So if he knows. Okay, yeah, I come here on Fridays. Cute. Now he knows he's gonna come here on Fridays. Right. Then we have a conversation because we're again asking him a question back. Most of y' all just answer, and it deads the combo. Give a little flirt response back. Give a question back. Yeah. What about you?

Nicole said, no, I don't. Do you. Oh, girl, damn. What do you do? Yeah, got. Let's. Let's. Here's. And here's. Here's why we're having this conversation. Girl. This has to be fun. You're. I'm not feeling olay here. Michelle said I can be. Okay. That's. That's giving me interest. Interest, Right? Intrigue. Taj said I might I might start now. Yes, now we're getting into it. C says I lie and say I just moved to the area. Girl, don't lie on the first interaction, Girl.

Not. Not you really finding love and a hopeless place with that lie, girl. Yeah, okay, Cat, I love this. Not really, but should I? Yes. And y' all giving it. Y' all giving it now. Before y' all were sticking the muds no shade. And now y' all are rivers, honey, flowing. You see how it just flows, right? Do you see how we just. Whatever they give to us, we give it back, girl, just like this flow of energy. It's not like it's not this again.

A leg.

Yes. Yes, honey. Y' all getting it, Honey. This is like, really, really making me really happy.

Yes. Artsy gal. Not often enough. Yes. Oh, lay these fools, girl.

Love. Dr. T said, now that I know you're here. Absolutely. Okay, so it's a little forward, but if you're that girl, get it right again. We don't want to feel like we're chasing him. We want to feel always a little bit out of his reach, Right? Accessible, but out of his reach. You know, like when you're at work and in the annual meetings, you're talking about, well, what are your goals for next year? And it's like a little bit of a reach goal, but if you work really, really hard, you can get it. That's what you want to give. Okay? So if a guy says, hey, can I talk to you? What are y' all saying? A lot of people said no. Someone said, sure, what's up?

I don't know. Can you. Oh, my God. If you give grammar police, girl. F. F, F. If you give. No. D. If you say, sure, C. That's average. Give me something more. This is. We're doing a little bit of a flirt session right now. So flirt, girls. Okay. What about. Okay, C, I'd rather you not. It gives. D, Girl, someone said, you already are. Womp, womp.

Give me more, ladies. Give me more.

So if he comes up to you and he says something like, hey, can I talk to you? What interesting subject would you like to talk about?

See, I already got in position.

Now, again, we've given him an accessible challenge, and now he has to come up with some interesting things to talk about, right? And now we have something to tease him about. So, for example, anything that he talks about that we don't find super interesting, we get to go back to that line and we get to say, now, I thought we were going to talk about interesting. Things. Right. Playfully. In a very fun manner, because a lot of these guys will come, like, with some bullshit or come real boring. So we have to let him know he's got to come correct, but we're doing it in a light, fun, and playful way. What interesting things do you want to discuss? Smile, eyes, Tilt. Right? All inviting. Now he wants. Well, I'd love to discuss how we can get to know each other. Well, that's really simple, but do you have anything more interesting to talk about right now? We're teasing. Now it's banter. Now it's interaction. Yeah.

The girls say, I'm sensing girl. Wash on, wash off.

Yeah. Someone said, I start singing Jodeci. Yeah. Y' all need to start singing. Ted and Campbell, can we talk? He needs to start doing that first. Yes. Okay, Charlotte, this is the gag. Take note, please. She says yes, but you have to tell me a joke first. Let these men work for you. Yes, yes.

You know peacocks, they want to put all their feathers back because they want to show, like, what their gag is. Right. Let them work for you. They derive pleasure from when they have to do things for you. Yeah. So you have to tell me a joke first. Let them work.

Yeah.

This is great. This is great. Shakira said, well, now you've gotten my attention. Right. So you get to say that, but we got to add something more to it. Right? Now you got my attention. Don't mess it up. Right. Anticipation. Right? A little bit of pressure. Right now he's got to come correct.

Yes. So, ladies, I'm giving you a sliver of some of the things that we do in my program.

Right. This is important because as I've been saying for a long time, the apps aren't happening, so you have to meet men in real life. Yeah. So I'm going to stop with the flirt. If you want to continue to do more of this work, you need to join one of my programs, Honey. Sorry about it.

Yeah.

Hey, girl. Thank you so much for listening to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, talk.