Anwar White argues that waiting to be approached is a weak strategy. Instead, build genuine connections by using apps like Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel, show up regularly at clubs and volunteer work, and start conversations yourself with compliments or questions.
Hey, girl. If you are struggling to get approached when you're out and about in these dating streets, then I want you to continue to listen because getting approached should not be the actual goal. And I'll tell you why.
When you are wanting to be approached.
Then we are prioritizing the male gaze and we are prioritizing the attention from men.
Do you understand that the men that.
Actually approach you will approach another five, six, seven women on that day.
So by the end of the week, they have 40 or 50 women that.
They'Ve gotten numbers from and you're becoming one of 50. Right?
It's not special to be approached.
It's not special to give your number or exchange numbers with someone. You become a number. You do not become an individual. And so what I want to offer to you is that getting approached should not be the goal. The goal should be finding connection with other individuals that are looking at you as a whole human being instead of another number. Now, let's talk about this notion of wanting to be chosen versus choosing.
In my dating program, I think it's.
Important to have both an online and an offline strategy. So, yes, go online. Go on the apps that are going to work for you. I love Hinge. I love Coffee meets Bagel. I love Match. I'm not a fan of Tinder or Bumble. I am also thinking about offline. And when I say offline dating, I'm.
Also talking about, like, things that you will do on a regular basis so.
That you will be seen, whether it's volunteering or a book club or working out at a certain time or, you know, going out to awesome fun restaurants where you're going to have a blast.
Like, these are things that are really.
Important when you're talking about offline dating. The other thing that I want to talk about when it comes to offline dating is like, we cannot wait to be chosen.
If you are a woman that is.
Dating in 2022, you are going to have to, what I call open the space.
Men are not approaching women the way that they used to because we are in a post. Me too environment and we are also, I'm sorry, people in a pandemic. So you're not going to get approached.
The way that you used to, which.
Means that you are going to have.
To open up the space. It's not like you're going to have.
To approach men, but you are going.
To have to open the conversation. Meaning you can, you know, give him a compliment. You can ask for a recommendation. You can ask him a question. Whatever it may be, and then we'll see where the where the conversation goes from there.
I hope that helps.
As you're navigating online and offline and being approached versus not being approached.
We have to stop waiting for love and waiting to be chosen and we.
Have to like, make it happen for.
Ourselves by opening the space and by.
Starting the conversation and see where it goes from there.
I hope that helps.
Click on my bio if you want to learn more about the way that I teach my clients how to date and get into the best relationship of their lives.
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
