Don't accept being flown out for a first date. It treats you like a package, not a person, and conflates money with love. The speaker connects this to money wounds from childhood, where gifts replaced presence, and argues you should make a partner actually work to see you.
Chapters
Eva said, getting flown out for a first date, yay or nay? Hail to the. No.
Don'T do that.
Don't do that. You need to make these men work for you.
If he's flying you out, you are an Amazon package Prime.
He's ordering you.
It's not a flex.
He does nothing. His assistant or him. It takes 10 minutes to do that. But do you know how long it takes you?
You have to pack, you have to go to the airport. You have to wait.
You have to fly.
You have to be taken from the airport to your destination.
Think about the time, the energy that is involved.
With being DHL fedext.
It's a lot of labor that you have to do.
First date, never that.
Okay?
It's not a flex, girl. A 200, $300 flight ticket is something that we can do ourselves. It doesn't mean that he loves you. It doesn't mean that he likes you.
Okay.
Sometimes I want to give some context here. Sometimes what happens when you are a black or a brown girl is we're so used to our fathers and even often our mothers working so much. And the way that our parents let go of the parent guilt of not being there for us and neglecting us as children is to overdo it on birthdays and Christmas. And so you're getting a lot of gifts, and they think that that is the way for them to show you that they like you and that they love you. And so what happens when you're growing up is that now you equate money being spent on you with love.
And it's not love.
Money is not love. Money is the most unromantic thing that you can have, and especially if you have it, it means nothing.
This is very important to understand because a lot of us who maybe grew up with not a lot of money still have money wounds. And so we will overestimate someone paying for things for us, thinking that it matters.
It matters.
You know how much it matters?
Double zero.
I have to clock the money wounds.
I have to clock them.
Y' all say, I'm dropping gems. If I'm dropping gems, tap the screen, honey. Double tap, triple tap. If you have a lot of money wounds, you need to tap the screen 10 times.
If you started from the bottom. Now you're here. You got money wounds.
Okay.
Good.
Yeah. Someone also said not to mention social media pushes that idea further.
So.
And don't. I don't even want to talk about the immigrant parents.
Someone said, do I think that the Sprinkle Sprinkle woman has wounds. I sure do.
We agree on, like, 80% of this stuff. Where we diverge is I'm someone that is about love pairings, and she is more focused on transactional pairings.
I don't. There's no shade there. We just do different things.
