GYG Online Consultation Video

Hello, ladies. As you may know, my name is Anwar White. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. People call me Coach Anwar, so you can call me that as well. Think of me as your fairy godbrother as we do this whole dating thing. Now, I want to thank you so much for booking a consultation, or at least applying to one. Before we actually go to that consultation, I wanted to talk to you about the biggest opportunities that I see most black and brown women actually facing in their dating life. And I wanted to see if those are your opportunities as well. So in this session, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to highlight some things that I have found in the 14 years I've been doing this work. And if you resonate with any of these opportunities, then my offers might be for you. And I'll talk about them at the end of this session. Okay? Now before I get into all of those opportunities, I want to just kind of explain a little bit about my background, my history, and what I do. Now, I've been a dating coach for 14 years now, since 2010. Now, girl, I've been doing this all of my life. Ever since I was in elementary school and the boys were talking to the girls, and the girls were talking to the boys. I was doing double Dutch and basketball. So I was like in between helping them get come together. And it wasn't until I had graduated and gotten my MBA from a Ivy League institution where I was like meeting with all of my girlfriends, my classmates, and everything was going well in their lives. They had the great job, the home, the car. They were traveling four to six times a year. But their love life was in the. Excuse my language, the. And I was like, girl, this is ridiculous. Like, you're amazing. You deserve all of the love in the world. So me being the type a person that I am, I just was like, I'm just going to take this over for you. And within a couple of months, my girlfriends were in relationships. And within a couple of years, they were getting engaged. Now, at that time, I was managing billion dollar budgets for fashion companies. And I was like, you know what? I love helping my black and brown sisters. And so I'm going to actually start doing this. And that's when I got certified as a relationship coach. And I've been doing this work ever since. So please understand, I've seen it all, I've coached it all. And you're in good hands if you decide that you want to work with me. Okay? Now with that said, I want you to understand something I want you to understand. And you know this already. Many of us are not taught how to date. So I think that sometimes we can shame ourselves into thinking, oh, my God, I should know this. There are other people that are doing this and getting into great relationships. Most of those relationships are not good because I haven't done the work ahead of time. And my programs are all about doing that work and healing so that you don't get into bad relationships. So with that said, I wanted to share with you some of the opportunities that I've seen over the 14 years that I've been doing this that have helped my clients get into the best relationships of their lives. So this session, I'm going to ask you some questions. Girl, just pretend like I'm on FaceTime, like we're just chatting. I'm your fairy godbrother.

Yeah. So let's get started. I have a question for you, and that question is, what is your dating strategy? How do you go from first conversation to first date? How do you go from first date to commitment and exclusivity? I want you to think about this, and if you're thinking, well, I'm on the apps, that's not a strategy, that's a tactic, right? I want you to understand what's your framework? What's your step by step guide to get through the courtship phase?

Now, I've been doing this work and 98% of the people that I talk to don't have a strategy. And you probably don't have a strategy as well. So I want to offer this to you. If you don't have a strategy, it's going to be very hard to feel confident in dating. Right? Like I was saying before, most people don't teach us how to date, right? Our mothers, our grandmothers don't teach us how to date. Most of the time, most of the things that we're hearing are, don't get pregnant, don't be fast, right? And keep your head in the books. But we don't know how to date oftentimes. And I don't want you to shame yourself because I always say it's kind of like trying to perform surgery but going to law school to do it. You have all of these amazing skills, but they might not help you in this area of your life. That's why I always ask about strategy. I know that you're strategic in every part of your life except for this area, and that's an issue. You're strategic at work, you're strategic in the administration of Your life, that you do, how you run your household, so forth and so on. We're going to have to be strategic in your love life as well.

Why? Like I was saying before, when you're strategic, you're going to feel confident because you're going to know what to expect every step of the way. And when you know what to expect, your boundaries are going to be rock solid. And what that means, because in my work, what I see often, because most women don't have strategy, they will give away or abdicate their power to these men who don't know what to do with it. And then they get hurt and then they lose all of their power in their love life. And it can be a very humiliating, embarrassing and disempowering experience. In your love life. I want you to be the chooser. I don't want you to be waiting to be chosen. And having a strategy will help you do that. So please understand, if you don't have a strategy, that's your first opportunity. Okay? Now let's go on to the second opportunity. I have another question for you. Oh my God. And where were the questions? I know, I know, I know. That's why they pay me the big bucks, girl. Because I asked the great questions.

What is on your dream guy checklist? What are you looking for in a guy? I want you to take about 10, 15 seconds to just think about that.

What am I looking for?

What is that first thing that comes to mind?

Now what I know is that oftentimes that first thing that I hear is he needs to be Christian, he needs to have a great job, he needs to be ambitious. Sometimes it's he needs to be over 6ft tall. Please understand that these things don't correlate with a successful relationship outcome. And if you're one of the women listening right now and the first thing that didn't come to your mind was how you want this guy to treat you. I know we're going to need to recalibrate this list. I've been to school with the finance people, the consultants, all of those guys that are high earning. A lot of them are jerks and not great partners. And so it's going to be very important for you to have your list solid. A list that correlates with a successful relationship outcome so that you can be evaluating these guys in a way that's going to fully serve you. Most of your lists are actually not actually an accurate way of evaluating men. And so you get upset and hurt because these men never had the relationship ready skills to begin with. Yeah. That's one thing. The other thing I hear a lot when I hear these lists is that there's no specificity.

You might say, I want him to be funny or he needs to be consistent. But what does that mean exactly? Because that's going to mean something a little bit different for each woman. Consistency for the next woman might not be consistency for you. So you actually have to understand what that looks like and what that means. These are things that we figure out in my program, by the way. Right. The other thing that I hear a lot is I want him to be ambitious.

Totally. Fine. You get to want that and have that. But here's what I want to offer to you. And for the ladies that are thinking in this way, guys that are ambitious are.

Let me say this. They won't have time for you. They're going to be focusing on their ambitions, number one. They're going to be focusing on themselves, number two. And then you might be number three. Or his mama might be number three. Right. So you're going to be fighting for a bronze medal in your own relationship, girl. The other thing about ambitious men that is not talked about a lot is that they're always going to want more and more and more. What does that mean for a relationship? It means that they're more apt to cheat and they're more apt to try to drive you to be better instead of accepting you for who you are. Such disaster in relationships. So the second opportunity, if this resonates with you, is that you're going to need to recalibrate your list. Okay. Now, the third thing that I see often that is really harmful for a lot of women of color is.

They'Re very open, but they're not vulnerable. What do I mean by that? I mean that you probably share a lot of facts, a lot of thoughts, opinions, and judgments, but you're not sharing your feelings. What do I mean by feelings?

Girl, this is an emotion wheel with all different kinds of emotions. Depressed, hurt, peaceful, proud, playful, confused, busy, anxious, insecure, bitter, mad, aggressive, frustrated, annoyed, infuriated.

I'm pretty sure that you're not incorporating feelings into your everyday communication. Research says that communication and conversations, generally 10% of those are talking about feelings. But in the work that I've done, in the research that I've done for black and brown women, that's only about 2 or 3%. Why are we talking about this? Because vulnerability is a superpower in your love life. You have to know how you're feeling at all times that you can communicate it to your partner so that he can make it better. But. But if you don't know how you feel and you're detached from your feelings, you won't be able to be vulnerable and he won't be able to make things right. And then you will create disconnection in your relationship. You got to know how you're feeling, and you got to know how to express it in a way that will be received, that will be seen, heard, and understood. Most women will want to talk about somebody and tell them about themselves instead of actually sharing how things make them feel.

This is important. So that's the third opportunity, learning to be vulnerable. If you are not expressing your feelings in every other sentence, there's probably opportunity to be vulnerable. This is how you will connect with a man. You will never deeply connect with a man without vulnerability. Please understand this. When you're vulnerable, you will inspire him to be vulnerable and share his feelings. And that's where the deep connection happens. And however archaic it sounds, you as a woman, you're going to have to initiate this vulnerability. Now, if you're not able to do this.

No deep connection happens. So you probably will need to be vulnerable or learn how to do it, which is something that we do in my program. Okay. The fourth opportunity that I want to share with you is all about energy.

Masculine and feminine energy. Most women of color are in their masculine energy because they've had to be. Whether you're a single mother or when you were growing up, you didn't have a lot of people to rely on, so you had to take care of things on your own.

And here's the thing. We're in 20, 24 and beyond. You get to be in whatever energy that you want to be in. I'm not one of those coaches that's like, you got to be in your feminine energy. But I will tell you this.

If you're in your masculine energy, it is going to be very difficult to date because relationships are about compliments. And if you're in your masculine energy, you will attract two kinds of guys. Guys that are in their dominant feminine energy who have regressed into a teenage boy and that are looking for mothers or guys that are in their hyper, AKA toxic masculinity, that will try to force you to submit into your feminine energy. Both guys are dangerous. Both guys are exhausting. Both guys will not lead you to a successful relationship outcome. So I want to offer that there may be an opportunity to learn how to recalibrate both energies within you. Right. And level up that feminine Energy so that you can present it and sit comfortably in it when the time comes when you're in a relationship.

Again, an opportunity around learning how to sit comfortably in your feminine energy.

Now, girl, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't tell you that the core of this work is around learning how to heal your inner child wounds. Now that is going to be an opportunity for everyone, just based on the way that we've grown up as people of color. Right? This is probably why you're not as vulnerable as you need to be, or you're in your masculine energy. Now, in the 14 years that I've been doing this work, there's been a pattern that I've seen when it comes to healing inner child wounds. And it is this. Generally, the mom is highly critical and judgmental and the dad is either emotionally or physically absent. Double whammy when it comes to intimacy or lack thereof. And so please understand that fifth opportunity here is around learning how to heal those inner child wounds so that you can break those bonding patterns that you have. Most of y' all are dating your narcissistic, highly critical, judgmental mothers. We have to break that pattern, which requires digging into the childhood. So I want to offer that to you as another opportunity. This is important because if you can't decenter and set boundaries with your mom or your parents, you won't be able to do it with men. Yeah, I always say this, that many of my clients are 250 years old intellectually, but maybe five or eight years old emotionally because of the childhood wounds. So we gotta heal that. And then sixth, what I've learned in doing this work and also being a person of color is that when we grow up, we don't have boundaries. And that's especially true if you're African or Caribbean. That's times 10. If you never grew up having boundaries, it's really hard to set them in your adult relationships, romantic or otherwise. And boundaries are everything. Boundaries will help you date well. And if you date well, you get into healthy relationships. And even when you're in relationships, you're going to have to set boundaries every step of the way. But if you don't know how to do it, you're going to get run over, you're going to be taken advantage of and people are going to try to control and mention manipulate you because you have people pleasing ways and you don't know how to say no.

So please understand, for most women of color, and maybe this resonates with you, maybe not that sixth Opportunity is going to be boundaries. Okay? Now those are the top opportunities that I see for most women of color, specifically black women. You need a dating strategy. You need to recalibrate your list. You're gonna have to learn how to be vulnerable. You're gonna have to learn how to sit comfortably in your feminine energy. We're gonna have to heal some of those inner child wounds. And we're going to have to set boundaries.

Those are the opportunities. Now I have a question for you. Now that you know those opportunities, do you feel like you will be able to achieve your love goals in the next year by yourself, or do you feel like you're going to need help.

Now if you sing. Got it. Anwar, you gave me the opportunities. I'm going to run with them. Girl, turn this video off right now. You don't need me anymore, and I wish you the best of luck. If you're like most women, though, most of y' all are saying, wow, I didn't know I had all of these opportunities. I just thought that men were shit. And many of them are and not ready.

But my job as a dating coach is making sure that when the right guy comes, you're ready for him.

That's important. And if you feel like, yeah, I need some help, then I have an opportunity for you, girl. I have two amazing programs that I lead all year, every year. And I wanted to share them with you and see if any of them might feel like a good fit for you. Now, I'll start with the get yout Guy Club. Now, this is my most popular program. And this is the program where you are getting so much value, so much benefits, so much healing, but also have the autonomy and the pace to do things at your pace. Yeah. So the get yout Guy club, it's a 12 month program and it has a variety of different offerings. So every week we're gonna have calls Tuesday and Thursday night at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific. The Tuesday calls is like where I will teach on a certain subject. So I might teach you my three point framework of how to be vulnerable. Or we might do a boundary quiz and talk boundaries and why boundaries are difficult. And then on Tuesday nights, we generally do an interactive activity. We're in breakout rooms and we'll work with each other and learn as a community. Now, the Thursday sessions are all about Q and A. So this is where you would bring your questions to the session and I will coach you on whatever question that you have, big or small, personal or broad. Right. So that you can get all of your Questions answered and you can feel very clear about what your next best step is. These calls are an hour to an hour and a half each and each one of them is recorded and put into the online course the next day if you miss it. Now, speaking of the online course, that is the second part of the club. Now I have an online program, a course that has about 30 plus hours of content in it. And this is where those opportunities that we just talked about, each one of those opportunities is a module in the course. There are also modules on confidence and mindset and other things. The reason why that is the case is because I want to make sure that we're honing in in on these. I've Learned in the 14 years I've been doing this work that if you master those opportunities, you're going to be in a good position to be successful in your love life. And each one of those modules has at least two or three worksheets to fill out to gain even more clarity on that subject. Most of my clients, they're schoolgirls. We love a good worksheet. We love to learn that way. If you're like that, then you're in the right place. Okay. So please understand we're going to be talking about and learning about dating in ways that we haven't done before. The online course is amazing and you will always have access to that. It's lifetime access. Okay. The third part of the get yout Guy club is the private Facebook group. Now we have around 200 people, black and brown women, like minded women in there. It's a safe, non judgmental space where you will be able to share your wins, share your challenges, ask questions. I'm in there. My coaching team is in there all day, every day answering questions, motivating, giving you tips and tricks to make sure that you are always leveling up when it comes to your dating life. Okay, now the next part is an important part. The fourth part is an online profile audit. In this program we date online and offline. We have an abundance mindset when it comes to dating. Now we're not married to online, but we do know that because there are so many people online, it gives you the opportunity to practice the things that we talked about like boundaries and vulnerability. So what does the online profile audit mean? It means we're going to help you choose your apps, we're going to help you choose the pictures, we're going to do a couple of editing rounds for your profile and we're going to give you a strategy. Most women don't know how to work the apps so they get worked by the apps. But our strategy is going to make sure that you're working the apps and you have a way to navigate them so only the best of the best you will be meeting with in real life.

That's the fourth part of the club. The fifth part is that you will be able to access any sort of coaching at any time, not just in the Facebook group, but also via email through our support team. Now you can ask a question, you can share with us a situation you can download on a date and get perspective by just sending us an email and we will get back to you within 24 to 48 hours. Okay? That is another way that we will support you in the get your Guy club. Now the cost for the getyourguide club, if you do a full payment it'll be 3k. Now if you do monthly payments, it'll be 12 monthly payments of 300, which totals up to about 3,600. That's the getyourguy club. Like I said before, this is the most popular program. It's a great program. We put our heart and soul into it and you're going to get a lot out of it. I have a lot of clients that are satisfied that have gotten their guide from this program and sing nothing but praises. Now I will have a link below this video to share with you all of the testimonials that we get. It's just a sliver of them but I think they're good representations in terms of how we serve our clients to make sure that they are having the best love lives of their lives. That's the get yout Guy club. Now if you're someone who wants a little bit more personalized attention, more one on one, more accountability with a bigger budget then I want to offer the VIP program. Now this is also a 12 month program. First six months are going to be really hyper focused on getting your guy. Now if you don't get your guy in the first six months, we'll support you for an additional six months in the VIP program. If you do get your guy in the six months, we'll support you for an additional six months in my get your Ring program which is the program that I have for all of my relationship ladies. Now the VIP program, it includes everything in the get yout Guy club. It includes the weekly Q and A calls, it includes the online course, it includes the private Facebook group, the audits as well as the email support. But it also includes weekly office hours. One on one sessions that are 30 minutes each week where we will talk about a date that you've been on, a date that you're about to go on. We'll go through the worksheets that you fill out very thoroughly to help you gain new realizations and breakthroughs. We'll talk about sometimes we'll do swiping sessions together. We'll also talk about your other relationships, how you do one thing is how you do everything. So please understand. We're going to talk about your relationships with your parents, with your friends at work, maybe with your children, if you have any of them. Right. For example, I just worked with a woman, she's Nigerian. She was going back to Nigeria. She had an never set a boundary with her mother before. And we did some role playing so that she could practice setting that boundary. And that week she was able to set two boundaries with her mother. And now boundaries are not a big deal for her anymore in her romantic life. This is the personalized work that we do in the VIP program to make sure that we're working on those opportunities that are, let's say, not as strong for you. Second part of the VIP program, you're going to have weekly personalized homework. Like I was telling you about the client, the Nigerian client, her homework that week was, girl, you got to set a boundary with your mom. Yeah. Another homework that week might be, girl, you need to ask for help five times. Right. Another. Another homework would be, girl, you're going to have to find an event and or some sort of hobby or passion that you can lean into to get out of the house. Let's figure out what that is and how often you will go. Right? Those are example homework that will be personalized based on what you need and what will help you in your love life. Finally, in the VIP program, you will have 24, 7 access to me through a messaging app called Voxer. This means that you can text me, you can voice note me at any time, and I will respond within a minute or two, unless I am in a session or I'm sleeping. I don't sleep that much. I'm always there for my clients. And if you're a VIP member, this also looks like you're going to need to reach out to me after each and every one of your dates through Voxer. So we can do a date download, so we can analyze it, so we can glean insights from it, so that we're always learning. Most women think that, oh my God, dating is such a waste. It's a waste if you don't learn from the experiences. This is why my VIP clients get such great results. Roughly 80, 85% of my clients get their guy in the VIP program because they're always learning, they're always leveling up through that voxer access. Okay, now, the cost of the VIP program, if you do a full payment, it'll be 7K. If you want to do a monthly payment option, it'll be 12 monthly payments of 700, which rolls up to about 8,400. These are the programs. These are the programs that are going to level you up from where you are now to getting your guy. And I am 100% confident that when you come into this program, you will not be the same. You will transform, you will heal. You will be able to be more vulnerable, set more boundaries, be able to show up in your love life the way that you've always wanted to. Now, if you're interested in joining these programs, definitely click on the links to get started. For the VIP program specific, we will need to have a conversation with you, so please click the link to actually set up a 15 minute session just to make sure that we're on the right page and that you're a good fit for the program. If you have questions about any of these programs, you can also set up a 15 minute call just to answer any of your questions. Now, please understand that the expectation of these calls is that you will make a decision on these calls about whether you're going to enter into one of these programs or none of them. Okay? So please make sure that if you do book that 15 minute clarification call. Right. I'll call it Decision Call that you're ready to make that decision. Okay? I hope that this video was helpful for you as you navigate your love journey, your dating journey, and I would love to work with you if you are ready. If you're not, no rush, no pressure. Continue coming to my lives on YouTube, on Instagram, on TikTok, and listen to my podcast, the get yout Guy Coaching Podcast. I hope this was a helpful session for you. I hope that you've learned something and I hope that we get to work together so that that we can help you get your guide. All right, my loves, be well and I will talk with you soon.