Anwar White on staying motivated after dating disappointments: lower your expectations, treat dates as fun rather than auditions for forever, and see relationships as chapters that end, not failures. Focus on being "the one" for yourself first.
See, I said, how do you stay motivated after disappointment? If you're disappointed in dating, it means that you've had certain expectations and there have been certain realities. And the difference between those two is disappointment. So part of what you need to do is actually temper your expectations and have none.
That's how you get rid of the disappointment in dating a lot of us. Every time you have a conversation with some guy on an app or some guy that you meet, you're thinking, oh my God, this is the one. Don't think that way. That is a recipe for disaster. Instead, I want you to think, oh my God, let me see how much fun I can have with this guy. That's it. And when it stops being fun, you just cut him off. I don't want you thinking he's the one. One is very, like, redactive. It like, it's like, it's very confining. And what you need to understand is that there is no one for you. You are the one. It's about you. It's always been about you. And you will have different people in your lives for a season. And you might have different men that you marry, different men that you're in relationships with for that season. It doesn't mean that when those relationships end that it's a failure. It just means that that was your guy for that season and that's okay. I think, like, we need to step away from the fact that like getting with a guy and being with him for 30 years is like a success. Because a lot of people have long ass relationships, but the relationships are horrible. It's like the only thing that is only like measured with like, based on length versus quality. If you have a great relationship and then you guys like grow apart and you guys have the awareness to like understand that without like animosity or things like that, that's also a success. Okay, so in terms of your question around disappointment expectations, we gotta take them to zero and we got to be thinking about how much fun we can have versus is this guy the one? Hopefully that's helpful. Yeah.
#datingtips #datingadvice #datingadviceforwomen #singleblackfemale #singleblackfemale #blackfeminini
Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
