A short YouTube monologue (hosted by Anwar White) responding to a viewer question about handling love-bombing. The speaker emphasizes that women—especially Black women—face particular vulnerability because of limited attention growing up and lack of boundary training, and she advises practicing and asserting dating boundaries (setting pace, saying no to rushed advances, scheduling calls) to avoid being led by others' tempo.
J. Jones said, how do you handle love bombing? Every time I start talking to a guy, they try to rush the process with boundaries. And what makes it really hard, especially for women of color, black women specifically, is because we don't grow up with a lot of attention. We actually like. Even though intellectually we know that all of it is bs, Our emotions and our hearts will not allow us to not get sucked into it.
Oftentimes what will happen. And also because when we grow up, we. We aren't allowed to have boundaries. And so what I teach a lot of my clients is actually how to have boundaries in dating. Because if you can't boundary well in dating, you won't date well and you won't get into great relationships. It has to be based on your pace. Right. And the way that you set the pace is through your boundaries. Yeah. So, for example, I did a video recently, and I was just saying, like, no, like, a guy can't just call you whenever he has to schedule calls with you. Now I can. I know the majority of the women on here haven't thought about it like that. Never do it like that because we're not taught that way. The gag is our mothers will call us, and if we don't pick up the phone, they'll call us again. So, like, we're trained not to have boundaries. So, like, that is part of how you become the leader of your relationship. You create the emotional depth and the pace of the relationship. If a guy is trying to rush you.
Oh, no, I don't. I don't feel comfortable going out two days in a row. Right. Boundaries.
