Anwar White explains the difference between physical and emotional slow-burns, and why the spark people chase is actually fear. A real one shows up as safety and peace, not butterflies.
Ella said, how do you know when you're in a real slow burn relationship? So one of the things that I always tell my clients is that you always want to evaluate these guys. Oftentimes when we talk about slow burn, we're talking about it both from a physical perspective and also from an emotional perspective. Physical is like, if you meet him and he starts out at a six, you want to see if your attraction to him is growing after a couple of weeks. And if it is, let's continue it. Slow burn, emotional, right? If he starts out and it's like, mid, but then at some point you feel really connected to him and it's increasing and you're starting to feel more and more emotionally safe with him, we want to continue it. You know what's so funny? So many of my clients get into relationships based on the slow burn, and they don't know what to do because it's so foreign for them. So many women based on Disney romcoms, Hallmark movies, right? Think that they're supposed to feel the spark. No, girl, the spark is fear, anxiety. Right? The spark is. Thank you so much for this. This gift, girl. This hat, this cowboy Carter hat.
The spark is the same feeling that you would get when you're, like, in fifth grade and you're supposed to be the star in the school play and it's opening night.
Those are the butterflies. Your partner shouldn't make you feel that way. Your partner should make you feel safe and centered and at peace. And if he's not doing that or she or they or whatever other pronoun I need to give right now. If they're not giving that to you.
Yeah.
Okay.
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
