Anwar White says stop expecting rom-com sparks. If you're catching feelings too fast, you're probably romanticizing dating instead of taking it slow. She notes that Black and brown women especially may have nervous systems on high alert, making it hard to tell intuition from anxiety.
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Okay. Someone asked, Bambi said, how do I catch, how do I stop catching feelings so fast? Well, girl, with a name like Bambi girl, there's no hope. First of all, change your name. You need to be like seductress. Right? What's happening? For a lot of women that are catching feelings really fast, it's because they are trying to romanticize their own.
Dating life. So I want, what I want you to understand is that dating and relationships are not going to be a rom com. They're not going to be a lifetime or a Hallmark movie. And when I hear that, it means that you're what I call the nice girl, the romantic girl. You want it to be this romantic fairy tale. So the quicker that you can get out of the mentality that it is supposed to be this like, head over heels, like, love at first sight situation, the more that you will actually be able to allow yourself to engage with men that you don't have that feeling for immediately.
Yeah, like, I'm always someone that's about the slow burn and not necessarily the spark. Girl, I say F the spark. I don't trust the spark. And if you're a black woman, or even a brown woman specifically, I know that our, like.
Our nervous systems are always on high alert. So what that means oftentimes is that our bodies are giving us different signals and signs. And sometimes we can't trust what our body is telling us. So sometimes it's hard to differentiate between our intuition and trauma and anxiety.
