Dating coach Anwar White explains how predatory men identify vulnerable women: they watch for reactions to disrespect, listen for self-deprecating language or desperation, observe body language and clothing, and test whether she chases or gives. He recommends setting immediate boundaries and avoiding favors.
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Girl, most women are actually really scared of men and they have a right to be because men are super scary because many of them are predators. And so what I wanted to do as a dating coach for almost 15 years and as your fairy godbrother is to share with you some of the signs that a lot of these male predators are looking for when they're trying to date you to see if they can exploit you, manipulate you and just take control and advantage of you. Okay, so first let's talk about reactions. They're always going to be looking at your reaction. So they will often test you by saying something a little bit disrespectful, teasing you or a joke. You're going to have to set a boundary immediately and let them know how it makes you feel. That hurt my feelings. That made me uncomfortable. They will also compliment you and they will look to your reaction if you are minimizing it or saying, no, I'm not beautiful, right? Or you're acting like you've never had a compliment before in your life. Oh my God, thank you so much. This is so nice of you. I can't believe you're saying this. They already got you, girl. Okay, so they're looking at your reactions to how they are communicating with you. The other reaction that they're looking for is if they, they're going to ask you for a favor, they're going to ask you maybe for money, for a ride to the airport, maybe even career advice, right? Please don't give it to them. Don't give them anything they want to see. Is she going to give to me? Because real men, men that are in their masculine energy, they want to give to you, they don't want to take from you. Okay, now let's talk about what you say in your words. So if you're saying a lot of I don't know, he already knows that he has you because it means that you're not checking in with yourself, that your head and your heart are disconnected. If you're saying a lot of self deprecating things and humor, oh no, you know, I'm not that smart or I'm not that good at math. He already knows that you don't think highly of yourself so that you can just cosine on whatever you're, whatever you're thinking, he can cosign on that and you can start to stay in a like a lower vibration or a lower sense of self worth. Okay, the other thing, if you're saying things like I'm dating for marriage, I'm Dating with intention. First of all, every man knows that if you're dating, you're dating for all of that. And if you feel like you have to say it, he knows that you're desperate for it. You're desperate to be chosen. You're desperate to be in a relationship and to be married. Don't say those things. Also, don't talk about your healing journey. Everyone's healing, right? But if you're talking about your healing journey, he's going to take it as, oh, you must have really gone through some stuff. So you're going to be open to going through some stuff some more. So let's also talk about the physical. Okay? So if you're around a guy and you start fidgeting with your clothes, right, it means that you're trying to. You're trying to look good for him, that he already has control over you. Or if, for example, and I'm a girl's girl, but I want to put you on here, if I see more skin than clothes, he knows that you're thirsty for attention and that if he gives it to you, you're going to be putting in his hands, okay? The other thing is, if you don't feel good about your body, if you're super tall or maybe you're thicker, a lot of those women, or even super skinny, right? You'll try to be small, and your posture will actually say a lot about you. And this is how the predators will target you. Okay? So that's the physical part. Now let's talk about your actions. Don't chase, don't initiate texts, don't initiate calls because you're chasing him. And when you chase him, he already knows that he has you. Okay? This is like catnip for predators. Now, I hope this is really helpful for you and let me know if you have any other kind of telltale signs for a predator while you're dating. But I will tell you this, and this is the work that I do in my program with my ladies. All of this is related, especially if you're a black or brown woman, to a mother wound. And that your definition of love, your bonding pattern, if you have a highly critical and judgmental mother hits each and every one of these things. So if you want to learn how to do it differently, definitely book a call with me. But understand that if you don't, that's fine too. We've got to really heal that mother wound. I hope this helps.
