A short monologue advising people—especially those raised in Black and Brown households—on how to stop defining love by caretaking patterns learned in childhood. The speaker recommends becoming 'self-centered' in the sense of giving oneself the attention, grace, and initiation one previously sought from parents or partners, repeating key lines for emphasis.
Chapters
Okay, someone said how to break out of being a lover girl. No, continue to be a lover girl, but be a lover girl to yourself. You're gonna have to learn how to be self centered.
Again. For many of us who grew up in black and brown households, we learned that parents become number one. Number one. And we have to do everything that they say and we have to try to vie for their attention and their validation. And so when you get out of the house, that is your bonding pattern. That's your definition of to be loved and to love in an intimate relationship. So then what happens is you just project that on a guy.
So actually, what you're going to need to do is give all of that to yourself. Everything that you do, you're going to have to do for yourself.
All of the grace that you give other people. You have to give to yourself. All the things that you want to do for somebody, you have to do for yourself.
And I. We're only doing things for people when they do things for us. You're never to initiate anything for anyone. That's how you be in your feminine energy.
You think that if I. Because this is what happened. You were home, you had your room clean, you helped out with the dishes, and you got a.
