Anwar White gives satirical dating tips for catching a white man during winter, from wearing shorts in the snow to pairing Canada Goose jackets with Uggs and pink socks. It's a comedic monologue with audience call-and-response that treats dating like a wildlife hunt.
So I'm here tonight, and I'm actually really mad at you all. I'm mad at you all because you should not be online with me on a Saturday night. You should not be hanging out with some gay guy on a Saturday night. You should be with men, straight men that want to be your boyfriend and your husband. So I'm already mad at you.
Yeah. Stop hanging out with gay guys on a Saturday night.
Do you hear me?
Please and thank you.
Someone said it's snowing, girl. If you see. If you see snow outside, that is your sign from God that you need to be with a white man.
Do you hear me?
White everywhere.
White everywhere. Take it as a sign, girl.
White boy winter. That's what it's giving.
You hear me?
Someone said it's cold. Let a white man warm you up, girl.
Do you want to know how to catch him in the chat? Let me know if you need to know how to catch a white man in this. In this White boy winter. Give me a hashtag, catch him.
I'm not going to share. I'm not going to share with you how to catch him until I see some hashtags. Because some of y' all need a white man. No shade. Yes. White boy winter. Okay, honey, the girls want to catch him. Like Pokemon, apparently. Honey, Honey, y' all want to catch him as if they ran away from the plantation.
Okay, so this is what you're gonna do. And this works every time, girl. You hear me? Okay. So you gotta do what they do in the winter, girl. What is that? You need to go outside in this snow in some shorts, because that's what they do, girl. And like attracts like.
You hear me?
When they see you in those shorts, girl, they already know. Oh, she's one. She's one of us. Oh, she wants it, honey.
Oh, okay, okay. I need to get with her. This my kind of girl.
Do you hear me?
Yes, honey. The shorts just like these, girl. Some of y' all should have them longer, but for me, I need them a little shorter, girl. Just like that, girl.
Yes, honey. Someone said I'm not catching pneumonia, but I need you to catch a white man.
Catch them both, girl. Gotta catch them all. Just like Pokemon. Catch a pneumonia.
And a white man.
Yes, honey. Shorts and that Canada Goose jacket, girl.
Yes, honey. And the. And the Ugg boots. Yes. Where are my Ugg boots, girls? And get into these pink socks, girl. Because I'm a lady. I'm a lady, honey.
Yes.
Yes, honey. All right, so your homework this weekend, because I give my girls homework. If you're in my program. Every week I'm giving you homework. You gotta do something. You can't be at home all day watching, you know, corn with a P AKA HBO Max and eating Haagen Dazs every night. Girl, I need you out. I need you talking to these men. Honey, your homework is to catch a white man in the wild.
I want it serving National Geographic.
Do you hear me?
All right, now.
#datingtips #datingadvice #datingadviceforwomen #singleblackfemale #singleblackfemale #blackfeminini
Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
