How To Create Your Dream Relationship

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Hello, everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. I'm gonna wait for people to come in so we can talk about really manifesting your dream relationship, especially in this next year, right? Because we have a whole new year that is going to be upon us and I want to make sure that we are really creating the relationship that we want versus just waiting. So that's what I'm going to be talking about today. And for those of you that are not super familiar with me that just started actually following me, my name is Anwar White and I am the CEO and founder of get yout Guy Coaching. And I help high achieving, smart and successful women heal their heart, date effectively and with ease, and obviously get their guy. I mean, that's the name of the company, that's the name of my program. So you better believe we are following through with that promise. So today we are talking all about creating your dream relationship. One of the reasons why I am talking about this today is because I talk to a lot of women all the time, all day, every day, and so many of them are talking about how they are waiting, how they really, really would like to have an amazing relationship but are not really doing anything to make it happen. Please comment in the chat if that is you, that you have really wanted a relationship. And let's be 100% real here. I don't want us to be in this mindset of I don't need anybody, I don't need a relationship. I'm good, right? I know you're a good girl. What I want to know and what I want you to be honest about is whether you feel lonely or not. Girl, I know you got a great job, you got a great family, great friends. Are you lonely though? Girl? Gotta be 100% honest with ourselves. Let's keep it real. This is why we're doing our tea, our December tea, right? We have to tell the truth. We have to tell the truth so that we can make changes in our lives that are going to fully serve us. So why are we talking about this? I'm talking about creating versus waiting because I talk to a lot of women about how they're waiting, how they literally go to work, come home or now, right? Literally work from home and never go out and even order their groceries home. So they're never seeing anyone, they're never talking to anyone and they expect that some guy is going to rob them, coming into their house and meet them and finally they can find someone and be with that person.

Not going to happen. It's not going to happen. Which means that you are going to have to create the relationship that you want, not just wait. Now, the question for you that I think is important for you to understand is, do you want to create this? Do you really want this? This is something that is really important to actually solidify. If you want this. Great. Right. We have some things to help you out with that. But the first question is, do I want this? And if I want this, am I willing to create this? Am I really wanting to make this happen?

Because when I talk to people, what they tell me, I ask, girl, what have you done in the last few years to upgrade your love life? Most of the answers I get are not much. I haven't done anything. Right. Some will say, yeah, I've been on the apps on and off. Right? Or I'm, you know, I go out every once in a while. That's cute, that's fun. But that's not what it's going to take. Why do I say this? I say this because the majority of my clients actually get in a relationship within four months, plus or minus a month. Right? Which means that you're going to have to do something for an extended, extended period of time. If you're on and off, which I know that you're probably are, in terms of the dating apps, you are doing yourself a disservice, and you're doing yourself a disservice because there's a certain momentum that happens when you stay in the love game for a while. In my experience, what I've seen is that most individuals will go on these apps pretty hard, maybe too hard, for like a month or so, realize that nothing is really happening, and then they stop. And it's the start and the stop that kills you. Right. I think some people think, oh, I need a rest. It's good to get a rest. That's fine. That's awesome. But what I want is to. I want you to realize that this love game, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. So you can't go hard. You actually have to do it easy and chill and at a certain pace that can last you. Right? As my great grandmother would say, my granny, go slow so you can go samo. Right. And so part of understanding and creating your amazing next relationship is understanding that you're going to have to pace yourself in this dating game. Right?

What are the other things that are going to be necessary? What I know for sure is that it's always really helpful to have a mentor. Right? And I'm not just saying this Because I'm a dating and relationship coach girl. There are tons of them out there. Go on Instagram. Everybody's saying anything about and everything about dating. You can pick one of them. Find one that works for you. Right? Getting a dating coach is like dating. You need to find one that really aligns with you and how you think about your life and who you are. I work specifically with smart, successful, high achieving women because I know that I can help them get what they want and achieve their love goals. I did it for myself. I'm a high achieving, type A kind of person. I know what's required to help these individuals calm the F down when it comes to love and, and do things completely differently to actually get the love life that they so rightly deserve. Right? It means you're gonna have to find a mentor and sometimes that means a therapist. Right? If you are doing therapy, I think that's great. I think it's such a great, amazing foundation for you to start to understand all of yourself. Because that's what's required for you to actually be in a successful, safe and committed relationship. A lot of times what will happen is that you'll be in a relationship or you'll be dating someone and no shade girl, but you might not know yourself, which means that you're going to be deferring and abdicating your power to the guy that you're talking to.

And that's when we get hurt. It is only when you fully know yourself that you are able to understand what's acceptable and what's not. When you're going to know your boundaries and when you're going to have the confidence enough to be vulnerable and share your truth. Right? Okay. So let's talk about why.

You haven't been as successful as you may want to be in this dating game, in this love game, Right? I'm sure you're doing things in a certain kind of way. And this is the thing that has been killing you. So here's what I know about, especially with smart and successful women who are maybe type A overachievers that they have lived all of their lives striving for perfection. Right? Everything has to be perfect. It has to be great. Let me know if that's the case for you as well. Because what happens is when we're in this mindset of this thing has to be perfect, then all we're doing is looking for a guy who looks perfect, not who is perfect. Who looks perfect. Right? And I don't mean physically, I mean on paper. Right? The resume Looks good, went to the right schools, has the right kind of education.

You know, has really interesting hobbies, runs in certain circles, things of that nature. I've been doing this for over a decade, and I've been helping hundreds of women get into amazing relationships every year. What I know is that your pickiness is actually hurting you when it comes to love, dating, relationships, and men. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be picky. I think you should have standards. For sure. Pickiness is a little bit different. Being picky is having a certain archetype of how your guys should look and be. And I've been doing this for so long, I know that 95% of the time, it's not going to look like the way that you want it to look like. And that's okay. The women that come to me have certain criteria that they're looking for. You know, he has to have a graduate degree. Good girl. That's fine. Well, that's only 13% of men out there. Right? Okay. He has to be 6ft or taller. I have a lot of former athletes that are 5'10, 5'11, no shade. That's great. That's only 15% of men. Right. The average height is 5'9. What's another criteria? He has to make six figures. Okay, that's 9% of men. And if we're looking at men that are between the ages of 30 and 50 years old, that's another 40% of men. And so when you do the math, because I was a statistics major when I studied at Carnegie Mellon, you realize that that is 0.07% of men that are actually.

Checking off the boxes on your checklist. And that's not even taking into account the men that are actually feeling you.

Right. Let's just call that half.

So we are talking about less than a tenth of a percent. So when you tell me that you're having problems meeting men, I know why. I know why. And that is not helping you create the amazing relationship that you deserve.

Right. Here's the thing.

When you look into the research, they say you can really have three major choices. Three. Three wishes when it comes to men. And I'm not telling you to settle. My clients end up with amazing individuals. IT professionals, lawyers, private equity dudes, consultants, whatever, in terms of a career and stability and intellect and all of that. What I'm saying, what I think is important, and this is what I do in my program at the very beginning part, is get to a point where we can start to get into an accepting Mode and not necessarily a judgmental mode. Right. Because the judgment is the thing that is breaking. And like, creating distance between you and your future husband. I don't want that for you. I want you to experience all that love has to. Has to offer. Right? Okay, so we've talked about being too picky. So what happens when you're too picky? Well, it means that let's say 3% of men will actually allow. Let's say you loosen up your criteria a tad bit. Let's say 3% of men actually embody what you're looking for. So that's three out of a hundred guys that you've been talking to, either in real life or online.

Then what happens after we find those guys? Even if they're assholes, right, they look good on paper, the resume's hot.

Then we give these men the benefit of the doubt, and we give them so many chances because we think that.

He'S a unicorn. These guys don't come around often, so I'm gonna make it work however I can, girl.

If he's not it, he's not it. One of the things that I teach my clients is how to make sure that he's showing up for you and treating you like a queen before you are even. Even, like, evaluating whether he is a match or not. I have my own dating system where I teach women, like, how to date very strategically, right?

So that they can have a framework that they know what to do. And they can be comparing these men as apples and apples. Right. Versus apples and oranges. So why are we talking about giving people chances? Well, first, it's human nature, right? When you.

Basically summarize or conclude in your head, I like this guy, it means that he won't be able to do any wrong in your life. When you say he's a 10, in your mind, in your subconscious and even consciousness, he's a 10 and he's perfect. And he's not going to be able to actually make a mistake. When that happens, you give him the benefit of the doubt and you allow things that you would never allow a regular Joe to get away with because you think that he's some sort of unicorn. What I'm here to tell you is that he's not. That there are millions and billions of men on the planet that are accessible and available to you. And what I know about this love game is that, you know, 5% of the guys that you actually talk to, have conversations with are going to be ones that you can even date. And I give you these statistics not to make you feel bad, but to actually relieve you from thinking that every guy is going to be the one. That's not how this love game is set up. That's not. Those aren't the rules of this love game. Means you have to talk to 100 people to kind of really engage with, let's say three to five. And that might be it. That goes to my earlier point about actually staying in this love game long enough for you to actually find the 3 to 5%. Right. When you start and you stop, you lose momentum and it really messes you up. Because even though you feel like you know yourself, there's a groove that happens when you're actually online and you are learning how to communicate and getting into a groove of how to talk to men. When you stop, you have to figure that out all over again.

So that's really tough. Okay, so we talked about you being really picky to the point where we find someone that hits your resume, all your resume goals, and then you give these so called unicorns all of these chances and then what happens?

We focus so much on the guy because we're so used, we're so wanting to make everything okay with this quote unquote unicorn guy that we just want to make it work. So we allow all of these things to happen and the focus becomes on the guy and not on you. I was talking to my clients last week and I was letting them know that.

When you are dating and talking to a guy, it's going to be really important for you, especially in the courtship phase, that 80% of your actual decision making is from you and not about him. That's my 8020 rule. That when you're engaging with him, 80% of your decisions have to be based on how you're feeling and what you need and what you want. Right. This is why I say we need to be self centered when it comes to this love game. Most women are either doing it 50, 50 or doing it 20, 80. Right? 80% him, 20% me. That's not gonna work. I know there's a lot of women out there that are like, yeah, guys like bitches. No, guys don't like bitches. They like women who are clear about what they need and what they want and can communicate that. So then those men can actually go out and make those things happen and satisfy those needs so that those men can feel a very value to the women. Right. And really kind of get their ego.

You know, on, on that growth hormone and steroid. Right. That's why they like Quote, unquote bitches. They just like the women who are actually communicating clear enough for them to just be able to satisfy them. Men are actual like gentle creatures and they are hardwired to want to please you and pleasing you pleases them. But if you're not clear about what you want and what you need at all times, which means 8020 rule, making sure, checking in with yourself most of the time and knowing what do I need, what do I want? Let me communicate that he's not going to be able to satisfy you. And when he can't satisfy you, he's going to be dissatisfied himself and he's going to step away from the courtship. Right. So that's why in terms of what's not working.

We'Re not being as.

Self centered in this love game. I got a question here. Did you say men are gentle creatures? Yes, they are. Men are actually more sensitive than women are. Men get rejected more and so they are very sensitive to making sure that they don't want to be rejected. That's why so many men out there will not approach a woman. Because he doesn't want to be rejected, he has to have like multiple green lights for him to feel like, oh yeah, like this is something that I can actually.

Do. He needs eye contact, he needs smiles. For some of my clients, I tell them, get your finger, point to him and motion for him to come over. For him to know that he's not going to be rejected. Works every time.

Okay, so let me think about the most counter intuitive thing that you should be doing instead of.

The things that I called out, which are being too picky. Right. Focused on your checklist, giving all of these men a lot of chances. And then also the 8020 rule where, you know, maybe focusing too much on him. So the counterintuitive thing, and this is going to hurt, especially a lot of you nice girls and a lot of you romantics out there, is that you actually need a strategy. You need to understand what you need to do from the first message or the first point of contact to the first date and then from the first date to exclusivity. This is something that I help all of my clients do and that's why they're so successful. I actually worked through with a client this weekend about how to have that exclusivity conversation because honey, we are not in junior high anymore. We, we are not walking home with a boy and then automatically going out with them. That's not what we're doing anymore. So we have to actually have a very Clear conversation about what the boundaries are of a relationship, because this is a verbal contract, and there are responsibilities involved with this. She's in a relationship now.

Because she's understanding the strategies that are needed to get you from first message to. To exclusive relationship. Okay, you need a strategy. One of the questions that I ask in every consultation that I have with my clients, and if you want a consultation, you can DM me and we can definitely get on the phone and we can talk about your love life, is what is your strategy? How do you get a man from here to there? Right. Why do I say this? I say this because as a woman, you set the pace and the depth of every interaction that you have with a man. And if you don't understand that power, if you don't know how to take them from A to B and A to Z, you will not get there. Right. I always say.

Men are driving the car, but women are in the passenger side and they have a gps. And without that gps, without that waze, no one's going anywhere. So you have to be able to drive men from one place to another. And this is exactly what I teach all of my clients to do with resounding success. And it's so amazing for them to just really embody that power that they never knew that they had in dating and something that they can hold for the rest of their lives. Right? So my strategy allows in this process framework to understand why do you need a strategy? Why can't we just be romantic? Well, we can't be, like, romantic and let things happen and wait for things to happen, because we don't live in a. In a very small town where everybody goes to the same high school and everybody stays in the same town, and that's how things are. And you randomly will. Or we're back in college where you have a ton of people around you all the time and things will just happen like that. It doesn't happen like that anymore. If you think about your everyday life, think about how many people you actually run across and then cut that in half. And that's as many men as you're actually engaging with right now. Right. We have to be strategic now because also we have more choice, Right? With online dating apps. I was just watching 90 Day Fiance with my hubby girl. We could be talking to somebody in Europe. We can be talking to somebody in Asia. There has to be a strategy. And the strategy. What's important about a strategy is to be able to put men in, you know, evaluate them based on a similar framework. So that you can be comparing apples to apples. Oftentimes what will happen is that every interaction will have, like, this different path. And because of that, it's hard to compare how a man is actually doing. Is he doing well or not so well? And it's hard to compare. Did Joey. Do you know? Is Joey better than John? Right.

We don't know. It's been a different trajectory. Maybe I've had, like, a phone call with John, and then maybe I went straight to a physical date with Jerry. Forgot the names already. But I think it's important for you to understand that without a consistent strategy, you. You won't know if you're coming or going actually. Right. And I want you to think about it this way. For my smart and successful women out there.

What in your life are you not doing or are you doing without a strategy? You have a strategy for everything that you're doing in your life, probably, except for this. And that's why you've probably not had the results that you wanted to. For my mothers out there, I'm sure you have a strategy with your kids. What the boundaries are, what the rules are, what they can and cannot do. It needs to be the same with your love life. And if it's not, you have no power. And you will be flying around like a flag in the wind, girl. Going from here to there and here to there.

Ain't nobody got time for that, girl. It is almost 20, 22. Like, we've got to level up, right? We got to do what my girl Sierra said and level up. I teach my clients how to have this amazing strategy that just really empowers them and gives them confidence so that they feel like they. They're the chooser and they're not waiting to be chosen, right? Yes, girl. Level the fuck up. That's what this is all about. And if you're not ready to do that.

I'm sorry for you. Sorry to that, man.

Right? Leveling up starts now. That's right, ladies. I love it. Let's go. We have to level this up. Why? Because you fucking deserve this and nothing is wrong with you. I want to make sure that you know what needs to happen for you to get the love goals and results that you need. Yes, honey. It's about being the chooser and not the chosen. Because if you're the chosen, do you know what happens?

It means that you're waiting. Means you have no power, that you're, as the young kids say, a pick me. A pick me show.

Right where you're just Sitting in a line and. And you're waiting, does he want me? Does he want me? Have you ever been that girl at a college party and you're waiting for the guy to, like, ask you to dance and do all that? Girl, if you did that then, and you're still doing that now. We haven't leveled up. We haven't leveled up. Right.

There are millions of men that will want to be with you, that need to be with you, right? You get to choose them. If we think about, like, anthropology for a second, because you are the one that's carrying the baby, you actually have to be choosier than men. Men can pollinate. Here, there, here, there. No choices needed, right? You, who has consequences based on those.

Interactions have to be choosy. You have to choose.

If you're not choosing, you're losing, you're losing. And I don't know about you. I am so competitive, and I like to win. And I know that you all like to win as well. Let's win in love. Let's. It actually isn't as hard as you may think. The issue is that you probably don't have a strategy to win in love. That's where I come in. That's how I help my clients get amazing results when it comes to their love lives. Okay. So obviously we have this external strategy about how we're supposed to. How we're going to interact with men and get them from first message to first date, and then from first date to exclusivity. There's a. There's a strategy here, right? And yes, it sounds so unromantic, but it hits all of the male psyche that is necessary at the point of courtship and interaction. And that's what makes it so successful.

What I do when I'm working with my clients, and I think this is why I've been so successful, is that we obviously do the external work, right? Oh, what should I text them? What should I say here? What should I be focused on on this date? Right. Or this part of the dating process or framework? We also work on the internal. Right. Because.

You have to do it both really well to be successful. I know there are a lot of female dating coaches that just focus on the internal. I know a lot of male coaches that just focus on the external. You gotta hit both. And that's what we do in my program. And so what you need to consider to ensure that you're doing what you need to be doing is also hitting those internal markers. When I say that, I mean.

Confidence, your confidence. So Let me just step back a second because I know that there's some women out there that are like, yeah, I'm really confident. What are you talking about? Okay, girl, I want a fine ass man to come up to you.

Does your voice come up a little bit? Do you do something really weird, right? Do you step outside of yourself and you don't even. You can't even recognize yourself when a man comes around, right? That's not confidence. You've already lost the game here, right?

You've already abandoned in yourself. What I'm talking about is to have confidence, you have to have clarity. And clarity comes from knowing all parts of yourself and accepting those things and loving those things. Knowing what you want, what you don't want, when you want it, when you don't want it. It's about having boundaries and having the confidence to actually communicate those boundaries. Why? Because even the greatest guys are going to get it wrong a third of the time because they're human and they don't know you until they actually do. So what does that mean? That means that you're actually going to have to be very clear about what you need, what you want, and how to actually communicate that with the man. Right? It's one thing to know what you want, it's another way to actually communicate that in a way that he can actually understand and digest it. Right? There's one way where you can say.

You lower your tone, you're talking to me funny. And there's another way of saying something like.

I'm really starting to feel unsafe and uncomfortable by the way that you're talking to me. Right?

Different ways to communicate.

One way will hit, one way will actually elevate and escalate the interaction.

So not only do you need to know what you want and need, you need to know how to communicate it.

And I'm gonna talk to you about the unsexy stuff, which is that you gotta heal all that shit that's inside for you to make sure that you're managing your triggers right so that you don't pop off and start to tell people about themselves.

Right? That's part of this work as well. Okay, so we talked a little bit about boundaries.

We have to talk about vulnerability.

That's another thing that we have to practice so much. So my clients go on a shit ton of dates and after each date I have them check in with me. Not because I'm a control freak, but because I want to make sure that I'm getting an accurate assessment of how the date went instead of an over intellectualized version of it. Three to five days later in a session, right? One of the first questions I ask is, how are you vulnerable? How are you vulnerable? Why do I say that? I say that because there's no way that you can have a connection with a man unless you are vulnerable.

Just think about it for a second. Any of the most amazing speeches that you have ever listened to. Michelle Obama, Oprah, it's those moments when they're talking about vulnerability.

Where you stop breathing, where you, where you pay attention.

It stops you in your tracks. And throughout the entire speech after you listen to it, the things that you really remember the most.

Are those vulnerable moments.

Right?

When Oprah talks about her sexual abuse when she's growing up, you shut the fuck up, you stop at your tracks and you listen, right?

It's the same with dates. Now, I'm not saying in the first date that you got to be homeless to Harvard up in here. What I am saying, though, is that we need to pepper some of those things in, right? To be memorable and to be known to be seen.

That takes confidence. It takes also skill. I teach my clients exactly a framework in terms of how to communicate that vulnerability again, so that it is digestible for a man.

A lot of women out there, especially if you're smart and successful and you're basically a rock, right? Not showing a lot of emotion and not really checking in with yourself, which has probably helped you succeed in business.

It might be really hard for you to be vulnerable, maybe because when you were vulnerable when you were growing up, people didn't really have time or emotional space to hear it. And so you felt, why even do it in the first place, Right?

Yeah. Vulnerability goes against what you are thought to be as a strong woman, especially a strong black woman, right? A strong woman of color.

But that's one of the reasons why 33% of black women are not married in their lifetime versus your white counterparts, 7%.

We're not vulnerable. Without vulnerability, there's no connection.

None. You can be intellectual with him all day long, talking about what you think, right? Your opinion, all of that. Without the vulnerability, though, girl, you're not going anywhere. No shade, all tea. That's just how it is.

So I teach my clients how to be vulnerable and how to feel safe within themselves, to be vulnerable. Because that's really what it's about. It's that level of safety. Then we get into the practice of it, right? We get into the practice of it. And once we're in the practice of it, girl, we're killing it, right? We're vulnerable here, we're vulnerable there. I'll be like, girl, shut the F up. With all this vulnerability. It's too much. It's too much, right? Yeah. That's what this is about more than anything else. So gotta learn how to be vulnerable, right?

Here's the thing. You go intellectual with men all day. You're like a colleague to him. All day at work, he's going intellectual with men, with women, with everyone. At work. When he comes home.

Home, he wants to be able to take all of that armor off, and he wants to just be vulnerable and connect and be accepted. Right? And if you can't do that and as a woman, you initiate that vulnerability.

It'S not up to him. Sounds archaic. Some bullshit patriarchy, all that, right? I'm not here to wrestle with the patriarchy. I'm here to let you know what it is, how to navigate it so that you can connect with your man. You're gonna have to initiate that vulnerability, and if you can't, it's not gonna work for you. Love. So we work on vulnerability. We get it going, right? We make it cute, we make it hot. We get the vulnerability going because that's what you're gonna need to actually attain and reach your love goals.

And you have to have the confidence enough to actually initiate it. I always say. I say there's this huge vulnerability pool, and you gotta dive in first. What he's gonna do, he's gonna put his big toe in there at first, make sure it's not really cold, and before you know it, because you've been vulnerable, you've been sharing parts of yourself. He's gonna be in there swimming with you, and y' all gonna be having fun. Yeah. Y' all asking for some vulnerability examples. Why? You want to try it out? You want to try it out? You want to figure out what the T is with vulnerability. I'm gonna talk a lot about vulnerability on Wednesday, so please check that out. But I will give you some examples. Right? So most women will.

Just talk about a circumstance, right? What happened to you? What's going on? What happened so.

Today? Let me think. So it snowed. I live in Montreal. It snowed a lot today. Oh, my God. The weather was crazy.

Right? Or it was a long day today. These are all, like, circumstances and. And thoughts and opinions, right? That's probably how y' all are doing it, right?

Instead of, I had to shovel the snow today, and it was really cold, and my body hurts, and I'm really not looking Forward to the snow because it really makes me depressed. And give me the winter blues.

What did I give you there? I gave you circumstance. I gave you thought.

I gave you feelings. Feelings.

He doesn't care about your opinion or the circumstance. He wants to know how you're feeling.

Because he wants to make you feel better. He's got to know where you're at on the feeling scale from 0 to 10.

If you're an 8, if you're doing great, if you're a 9. He's got to know that so that he can support you even further if you're at a 2. He needs to know that so that he can pick you up. Right? So I don't want to hear, I'm fine. I'm okay. I don't know.

That's not gonna work anymore. Not in 2022 at all.

My homegirl said I'm a cancer. You want feelings? Say less, girl. I'm a cancer too. But you know what happens with cancers. We were very feelings based. Nobody met us. And so we don't. We keep those feelings inside. Right. And that's the shade of it all. Because then.

Lots of cancers up in here. Yes. What happens? And this is so true for. And I want to. I want to be 100% real black women.

And the angry black woman.

Right. It builds up because we keep it inside. We don't share that vulnerability. We don't set boundaries.

And then we explode. We explode because we can't hold it in anymore. We're drowning in it. Right?

That's. That's what's going on.

Most. 80% of my clients are black women. Right.

Part of this is making sure we don't drown in our own anger, resentment, frustration that we're communicating all of these things out and letting these men take care of it.

Or not. If they don't, we go somewhere else.

Right? Yeah. So we talked a little bit about the fact that you need a strategy and most of y' all don't have it, and that we gotta work on our vulnerability and our boundaries that will help us, you know, Also, I think being able to have another perspective in terms of understanding men, I think is also really important. And I think that's what I give a lot of my clients as well. I let them know exactly what a man is thinking and feeling at all times. I think I've been blessed to have both the male and the female perspective. And I think that's the thing that makes me so amazing at this work. But.

You got it. You got to have a Strategy. Right. If you're interested.

Actually getting a man in 20, 22, in the next year, and you're ready to make it happen, to create and not wait. Right.

To choose. Instead of being chosen.

I want to invite you to at least book a free consultation call with me. Right. We'll talk about your love life. We'll also talk about my amazing group program where you will be surrounded with amazing women just like you.

So that you don't feel like you are doing this all alone. Because. Because it can be lonely out there on those dating streets. Right.

And your mom and your friends are great support system, but they might not be giving you the advice that you need. Your sister might have already been married. She doesn't understand these streets. Now, your mother is from a different generation, and she didn't have the agency that we have now in this generation.

Right. So it's important that you find people, women, that are doing the exact same thing that you're doing in the same space that you're doing it at. And we learn from each other. Right? Yeah. I want to talk to you a little bit about one of my clients that I reached out to this week, because at the beginning of every week, at the beginning of every month, I reach out to some of my older clients that are well within their relationships just to see how things are going. You know, my relationship with my clients, I always think about it as family. Right. So it's not like, oh, we did this amazing program. I got you a guy, and then you're never gonna hear from me again. No, girl, we gonna talk. Gonna make sure everything is good. And I talked to her. Her name is. Well, this is not her real name. We'll call her Mimi. I keep all of my clients confidential because it's nobody's business.

She hadn't dated in three years. She got divorced from a man that was a narcissist that was abusive emotionally and physically. And.

She was scared. She was scared of men, and she was scared of love, and she was scared to just try, you know? And it, like, breaks my heart just thinking about where she was, and just, like, she had no voice. She had. Her confidence was low. This was an amazing, successful engineer. And.

Yeah, so Mimi came to me, and she was like.

I need your help. I, I, I want this. I need this. And.

I am.

Don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. And so we got to work. I, I made sure that in every date she was having, she needed her voice. She was speaking up, and she was Speaking the majority of the time. Not these men. Because she used to get quiet. That was back in her narcissistic marriage days, in her.

Growing up with overbearing parents days. And she was approaching these relationships like that little scared girl.

Right? We changed all of that. We set some amazing boundaries with her crazy narc ex.

We had her dating like a queen using my dating system, right? My dating system.

Is hard to get through. I want to let you know that my system is not about quantity. You won't be going out on a date a week. You'll go out on a date maybe once every two to three weeks. Because I prioritize quality over quantity.

So she met this amazing guy.

Amazing man.

And after a couple of months, they became exclusive. Right. I mean, I was helping her all throughout the time. Date two, we do something. Date three, we do something else. Date four, five, six, we're doing different things, right? You might not be thinking about that. You might just be thinking, I'm just going to show up on this date, right?

No, there are things that you should be doing on all of these things. States, you know, should let me hold back here.

There are things that will serve you especially for the men that you like. And that's what she was doing. How did they meet? They met online, girl. 80% of my strategies are about online. I want you to have access to millions of men, not 20 guys in a bar.

Right? So they met online, girl. Don't you know that? I texted her this weekend because I always text my clients at the beginning of every month just to see how things are going. You know, I'm always here for them.

Girl. Why did she say I am at Disney Paris with.

Having the time of my life.

Girl. She is going to marry this man.

We'll follow the story fall next year. Engagement. I have been doing this for 10 years. I'm actually very good about when engagements are going to happen.

It makes me so happy. It makes me so happy. She was scared and now she's killing it. She's telling this man what she needs, what she wants. And this man is delivering. He's delivering because he's a high quality man.

And through my dating system and process, she was able to find that man. Right? Yeah. So I also have this other program that helps my clients who get into relationship.

Get their engagement. So my dating program is called get your guy. My engagement marriage program is called get your ring. So I have clients in the get your ring program. So I'm able to understand what the timing of these situations are. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Yes. Quality over quantity. That's what it's all about. I think a lot of women up here think that they're doing something in this love game because they got one, two, three dates a week. Girl, 97% of those men are not going to be worth a damn. I'd rather you go out once every two to three weeks and him be a high quality guy that has a high probability of actually being your dude.

Right? Yeah. Okay. So I'm hoping that this story of Mimi inspires you, because I know that if I can help her, that I can help you. And I want to let you know that my group program is starting at the beginning of the year. And all this month, we're going to be talking about how to get your guy right, how to do it inside and out. So I hope that this inspires you. If you're interested in understanding more about my group program, which is going to be amazing. I was actually just recording new modules for this program for January.

Y' all are not ready. Y' all are not ready. Just realize I gave you all of this info for free. Imagine what my paid program is going to look like. No shade all tea.

So if you're interested, you can DM me. We can have a conversation, or you can book a free consultation. Call with me at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply.

And that is what it's all about. If y' all are ready, if you're ready to create and not wait. I'm here to create with you and make it this most amazing, beautiful experience where you fully transform and you heal your heart and you date effectively and with ease and you get your guy right. All right, my loves. I hope this was of value to you. And I hope that. That you kill it. You kill it in love, right? You got one life. What are we doing? What are we doing?

All right, my loves.

Love you all so much. Talk with you soon. Bye. Bye.