YouTube advice video (by Anwar White, Feb 8, 2024) offering dating guidance for Black women about courting Nigerian men. The speaker praises Nigerian men for education, earnings, charm and a provider mindset, then lists culturally-grounded red flags and protective practices: do not send money; expect provider behavior (asking for money or not inviting you home are warnings); beware early love declarations (first two weeks = love-bombing); perform background/detective checks (possible undisclosed marriage); assess emotional capacity (may be blunt/invalidating); understand traditional gender roles and family dynamics (introduce you to mother within ~2 months; oldest/only-son issues); watch for infidelity; and use elders to formalize courtship. Closing invites comments and cautions viewers to stay safe.
Chapters
Girl, Nigerian men are very tricky to date. Now, the reason why I'm doing this video is because every time I go on live, there's always a question about, well, what about Nigerian men? And so I wanted to share with you some of the things that you might want to look out for when you are being courted or dating a Nigerian man. Now, Nigerian men are really great in a lot of different ways. They are one of the most educated immigrants in the US they make great money, more than their white counterparts. They are very charming, very caring, and they have a provider mindset. Now, with that said, girl, you and I both know that Nigeria is one of the biggest scamming countries in the world. And a lot of Nigerian men will try to scam you. And so I want to make sure that you have some ideas around what they might do so that you can protect yourself. Number one, if he's asking for money, it's a no. Nigerian men are very proud and providers. So if he's not providing for you, then he's not serious about you. If he's not asking you over to his house, then he's hiding something. So it's probably a no. If he says he loves you in the first two weeks, it's a no. It means that he's like, he likes you and that he's love bombing you. Right. I always. Nigerians are infamous for love bombing. I always say that's why you'll find Nigerians anywhere that there's oil, honey. Nigeria, Middle East, Houston, they use that oil to love bomb you, girl. Yeah. Now, with that said, he might say I love you. In the second month, he might really mean it. But in the first couple of weeks, it's a love bomb. Okay. You will also have to do detective work. And I know a lot of romantics don't want to do that with a Nigerian man. You will have to do that because he may lie to you. Why? He might say that he's divorced and he might still be married. Yeah. So you'll have to do detective work. You'll have to give your best Olivia Benson Hunting. You have to also understand his emotional capability. A lot of Nigerian men are blunt and might invalidate your feelings. So you want to make sure that he has the emotional capacity to be able to be a great partner. The other thing is they're very traditional, so they don't want to go back and forth with you. If you're opinionated and you like to debate it probably won't be a good match because he will try to humble You. Okay, now you want to see is he actually incorporating you into his community, specifically his family? So if you haven't chatted with his family, specifically his mother, in the first, like, two months and make sure that it's his mother, he's probably not serious about you. Right. Some women will think, oh, my God, he's introducing me to his friends. He likes me. No, his friends are enablers. They don't care about you. The other things that I have learned are be careful. If he's the only son or the oldest son, the family will be very protective and be very harsh and hard on you. Yeah. And then also because they're provider men, a lot of times that comes with strings and a lot of Nigerian men will cheat. That's why I'm saying you're going to have to do detective work to make sure that you know he's not cheating on you. Because culturally speaking, that has been something that has been accepted in terms of what a man needs. And then finally you want to ask him about his, like, relationship past. And the reason I say that is because if he is focused on just African women and you're his first African American woman or, or something like that, he might not be taking you seriously and he might be using you and playing you. Another way to protect yourself is to bring elders into the actual courtship, because culturally speaking, its families talking with other families. And bring in an elder with you, like introducing him to an aunt, a mom or dad within the first couple of months will help you realize that you have other people around you supporting you and that he can't just play in your face. Okay, I hope that this is helpful. Let me know in the comments if I've missed anything. And stay safe out here, ladies.
