A speaker (Anwar White / Juicy Amore) addresses Black women on why they may preferentially seek relationships with Black men, linking that tendency to efforts to 'rewrite' absent or emotionally distant father relationships. The speaker suggests dating broadly to see who treats you best, acknowledges the role of cultural/community safety, and frames these discussions as therapeutic—part of their program work.
Chapters
By Juicy Amore Teach us black women how to let go of wanting to be with black men. Well, that's not my job.
What I will say is that.
I think I always tell black women that I want you to date everybody and see who treats you the best.
Yeah.
Oftentimes we will only date black men because we are trying to rewrite our own. Excuse me, my stomach. Rewrite our own histories with our fathers.
Because, let's be honest.
Many of us didn't really grow up with fathers that were in the house every day. And even if they were in the house every day, they came home from work beaten down and.
Had dinner and went to bed. Had dinner, watched TV and went to bed and didn't spend quality time with us. Couldn't talk about feelings with them. Overcompensated with gifts and money and not with attention and cherishing and quality time.
So many of us think that we're going to.
Fill that void with some black man.
And it doesn't work out that way.
Oftentimes it's that.
Okay.
Which I think is important. Not all the time. Some of it is also just feeling safe within our community.
Which I also want to honor.
Yeah. Someone said, I feel like I'm in therapy right now. Part of my program can feel very therapeutic. I would say about a third of my clients also are in therapy while in my program. But these are the sorts of conversations.
