Short YouTube monologue answering a viewer question about self-care before dating. The speaker urges listeners to stop procrastinating and improve follow-through (practical tasks and commitments), because fear-driven avoidance can attract toxic or narcissistic partners who exploit weakness. The speaker also stresses emotional assertiveness, vulnerability work, and clear boundaries (e.g., stop apologizing unnecessarily) to avoid being manipulated.
Chapters
Julie said, do you have any advice on self care or self improvement to get ready for dating? Yes, I probably will do a video on this but I think it's important. One of the things, a couple of things that you can do if you are currently feel like you got to get your shit together before you date. And many perfectionists, smart and successful women are like this. Um.
I'm going to need you to stop procrastinating.
Whatever you're procrastinating on, get er done. Why do I say this? If you procrastinate it means that you're afraid to do something. And what happens is if you procrastinate on something, you will actually attract more, more toxic and narcissistic men because you are ruled by fear and toxic men will see that and know that they can control you and manipulate you. So procrastination. If you lack follow through, if you have a to do list and you never finish it, if you say you're going to do something but you don't do it, oh my God, I need to get that car fixed. And then you don't do it. And you let you, you leave it for months until your car breaks down. Them work on your follow through. When you don't follow something through, a toxic and narcissistic man will swoop in and get those things taken care of so that you feel like you can't live without him.
And that's how we get sucked in. So procrastination follow through.
Like just do what you say you're gonna do and then stop avoiding things like I'm talking about like emotionally. Like if someone says something or does something to you, don't just suck it up, right?
Say something. This is why with my clients I work so hard on vulnerability and boundaries. Because dangerous guys when they see that, when they see you like self deprecating humor if you are apologizing for no goddamn reason. Like if you, if someone bumps into you and you say sorry.
You'Re already putting yourself in the wrong. So all these toxic and narcissistic guys have to do is just co sign on what you're already saying and then what's happening is that you're always going to be in the wrong and he's always going to be telling you what's wrong with you. That's how you work on your shit when you're not dating so that you can avoid these very toxic bonds that happen.
Are you hearing me ladies? This is prime A T right here.
