Anwar White (YouTube, Feb 12, 2024) argues that Black parents often harm Black daughters' future dating skills by restricting early dating, leaving them inexperienced, less confident, and isolated compared with peers who date earlier. He links these patterns to religious/cultural secrecy, awkwardness around flirting, and family pressure about marriage; he offers coaching resources (his "Get Your Guy" podcast) and urges self-education and parental openness.
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Girl, Black parents need to let their Black daughters date. And I know many of them think that they were protecting you by removing you from the whole dating scene, but they were actually doing more harm than good. And the reason I say that is because dating is like a war. And if you don't have the right protection, if you don't have the right weapons, you're gonna get hurt, and you're gonna get hurt bad. And oftentimes that happens with a lot of black women who are navigating dating because they never had the experience. Most of them have been taught to keep their head in the book, to stay away from boys because they're only focused on one thing. And most boys are right. I'm not gonna lie to you. Some aren't. And even experiencing those boys and having boundaries around that is really helpful. Now, the reason why it is really difficult for many black women to date is because they lack the experience. Their white counterparts don't have that problem because those girls are dating at 11, 12, and 13. So they're having. When they get to college, they have five, six years of experience and they are in a position to lean into relationships. More significantly, for Black women and Black girls, that's not necessarily the case because they don't have the experience. Many of them, because of religious reasons or other reasons, are dating on the DL. So they are ashamed of dating. They're also isolated, which is also dangerous because you need people around you while you're dating. Less confident, more awkward, don't know how to flirt. All of these different things makes it hard to move through your dating and relationships journey. And then what happens is, like, when you get to college and afterward, your parents are like, okay, well, when are you getting married? When are the grand. When are the grandkids coming? And you're like, I don't even know how to do this thing.
It's a very frustrating situation. So I'm here to say it's not your fault. I see you. It sucks. And I'm sorry for the miseducation of your dating life or the better, better yet said the non education of your dating life. This is one of the reasons why I do these video. One of the reasons why I have the get yout Guy coaching podcast. I hope that you listen to this and you educate yourself since you weren't properly educated. And I hope that you send this over to your kids when you're ready to have that conversation with them. I always say, when you're ready to have the talk with your kids, it's important to couple this talk with your daughters. I hope this helps.
