Manifesting Your Husband

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guide. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do without anyone but you.

Hello, everyone, and thank you so much for joining the get your Guy coaching podcast. I have a really special guest, and before I introduce her, I want to let you all know how I got to know her. So I actually have been following her TikTok account for years, even during the pandemic, and she has helped me so much when it's come to manifesting. She is a master manifester, and she teaches and coaches people how to do the same thing. And I thought it would be so important to have her on this podcast because, you know, I want to say a few months ago, she had talked about manifesting. Her husband and I have done the same thing. Obviously, I've done the work as well, but I did the same thing. And I think this is such an important conversation, especially for women of color, because so many of you all are looking for your partner. And I think it would be really important to have a step by step guide in terms of really how to do it and how other people are doing it so that you can choose for yourself whether you want to do it or not. So I say all of that, but I want to introduce Raina Campbell. Raina, girl, tell the people, the listeners, who the hell you are and why you're so amazing and fabulous.

Anwar, what an amazing introduction. I need to hire you to, like, speak for me on my behalf. That was amazing. Thank you. So I love Anwar. He's so fabulous. Met him on Tick Tock, which we were just discussing, is just magical. Magical connecting and all kinds of things. But yes, I teach manifestation and mindset and how to break out of self imposed limitation. And I personally believe that any dream that you have, you can actualize it. You just have to get out of your own way. Yeah, yeah, that's in a nutshell.

I love it, girl. So how did you get into this work? How did you start manifesting and becoming what I call a master manifester?

So the long and short of it is the women on my mother's side of the family are incredibly gifted, very intuitive. They'll have Dreams they'll be able to prophesy. And so I just thought this was something we all had until I started school and the kids would be like, she's a bit freaky. How did you know that? That's scary. And so I tried to hide that gift. I didn't really know what to do with it. And when everyone tells you something you have is weird, you want to fit in. Yeah. But as I grew older, it became apparent that it was actually such a great tool in knowing what to do. Sort of following my gut and intuition. And when I listened to any downloads I would get, it always worked out in my favor. And it was only and when I read this secret that I realized actually this is a thing. This isn't something weird, but it's a thing that not everyone is aware of. We all have the power to do it. But when you come into awareness and you know how to use the knowledge, that's when it becomes powerful. And so I used it to manifest many things. To raise the money to go to drama school, to book my first lead role in a movie. Just to do incredible things. So, so much.

Okay, so you manifested the. The fees for drama school and your first lead role, what did you do to actually get those? We're going to get to a bit to the nitty gritty girl. What did you do to get that. Those fees? What did you do to get that lead role? How did you do it at a younger age?

Looking back now, all I did was simply choose a different identity. I chose to be the outcome of what I desired. And so that required me to believe that I had the capability to receive that. Like I could receive it. Even though my life and circumstances said no and all the odds are against you. I chose to be the person that. That could be the lead in a movie, an international movie. When the industry said we don't put dark skinned females on the COVID of movie posters, I chose to be the person that had all my fees paid when I had just finished my degree and had no money, no job. I chose to identify as this is who I am and as I identified as that person by telling myself I am already this. It's almost like circumstances and people around you shift to accommodate the new you.

Yeah. So how did you change that self concept? Like did you have to say mantras to yourself? Did you? Was it something that you did mentally? Like how did you say to yourself, I am someone who has those fees.

Already, so there are two parts to it. So when I was raising the funds for drama school as a Christian. I literally took the Bible literally. And I was like, if Jesus says I can walk on water, I can walk on water. It was like a 100, I can do it. He said I can true believe. So my faith was like rock hard when it came to the lead role. I at the time couldn't figure out why am I not even booking like a line in a show. And I think I got gotten worn down and sucked into what the industry was saying about my potential and what other actors who weren't doing well were saying. I was listening to these conversations that were negative and lacking and fearful and everyone's talking about how bad it is out there. So I was like, okay, it must be bad out there. Not realizing that it's very important the information we consume and who we surround ourselves by. And for me it had become a self worth issue where I decided because I didn't look European or what the industry was saying was acceptable because I was from the north of England and I had an Orthan accent because I had this, because I had that, that I couldn't possibly get books to be the lead role. And also because I'd had a series of rejections. I was collating those bad experiences and deciding that because I'd had so many bad experiences, I. My future looks bleak. So I was trying to manifest using my past as opposed to who am I today and what can I create today? So let me stop you right there.

Because that's really such a really interesting distinction, which is that you need to focus on the present and the future and your manifestation instead of what's happening in the past. Because obviously I think sometimes and this has such parallels with dating because we think like, oh my gosh, because this happened in the past with these past guys, that that's what my present and my future is going to look like. But that's not necessarily the case, right? That actually you can create another concept of yourself, right. And another reality based on what you want. Right? But your past might actually not replicate that or there might be kind of, you know, a misalignment when it comes to those different experiences. So I just think that's such a really good point to highlight because so many of us are like, you know, even not just like the not so positive parts of our past, but also like really highlighting the great things of our past and thinking that that's going to help us in the future. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I could have gone, I could have gone to the best schools. It doesn't mean that your future is going to be amazing, girl. Ye that it has to be kind of rooted in the present now, and from there, go on into the future.

Yeah. And what. What was difficult for me was because I had so many rejections, I built an a fear that I wasn't aware of. And so subconsciously I was protecting myself from getting hurt again, which I guess in dating happens too. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to go through that. And I've attracted the same guy with a different face, different masks. So how do I make sure that doesn't happen? So I'm going to protect myself by being really militant or really like, you know, very particular with what I'm choosing so it doesn't happen again. But sometimes being so controlled actually can back 100%, 100%.

Now, why do you think people have trouble manifesting? Because I think a lot of people, they hear it, they want to do it, they try all of these different things, but it doesn't necessarily work. What are like, the top kind of reasons why people have trouble manifesting in your eyes.

Being caught up in your reality, what we can see and what is happening. So when you're so consumed, but the facts are, my bank account is zero. I've just had another terrible relationship. I've applied for that job, and that hasn't worked out. Your for people, it's like I'm dealing with real life and I'm trying to sort out my real life and change it. It's not so easy to focus on the fact that I can change this situation, which is so visible and in my face. So it's the focusing on what isn't yet.

But we focus on what is now. So that's very difficult for people. I say the main reason is getting caught up in the circumstances because you've had this lifetime of playing small, living in lack, living in, expecting disappointment and expecting rejection. And so to suddenly go, I'm going to suddenly expect the best and know that I'm worthy of the best.

It's like, it doesn't work out like that.

No, no, no.

Yeah, got it. No, that's so, so important and interesting. One of the things that I have also kind of observed is that for many of us, it's hard to find that new concept because we haven't necessarily seen it for ourselves, especially as for black and brown women who are the majority of the listeners of this podcast. Right. There aren't. There isn't representation. There aren't like models for us to see, okay, there's that. Obviously things are changing now, right? There are more and more representation, more and more models of what is possible, what can be, but there's still maybe not enough. And so I think that's really a difficult thing to do. What do you think makes it hard or specific barriers when it comes to manifesting for black and brown women or.

Women of color, the narrative that we're born into? Okay, you're born into this narrative and you are taught to navigate the world differently. So it's not something that you have at the forefront of your day. But I remember for me, when George Floyd was murdered and we were in lockdown and I was living in London at the time, all the media that came from the United States literally was fear mongering. If you're black and you live in the United States, it's going to be hard for you. You're likely to be killed. You know, white people don't take to you kindly. And then there was this almost like a grief, because now white people were like, we want to hear your story. We want to know how you feel. And so I was asked to do so many interviews and so many podcasts, and I didn't realize how much trauma I'd been sitting on. So I was very sad. I was very. And everyone said, raina, there's no way you deal with racism. There's no way everyone loves you. And I was like, if I think about it, I have to code switch a lot in life. But I've been doing it since I was born, so I don't think about it every day. But now you're putting it to me like this. Yeah, people look at me and they go, oh, she's got a bone structure that makes her look aggressive. Or, you know, she might, you know, don't want to get on the wrong side of her. All these little microaggressions that you think, okay, when I'm in this certain kind of a company, I'll become like this, or I don't know how I'm going to be treated. So there's all these micro stories and narratives that we just accept that we change to, we're told work twice as hard. These little things, like black women are aggressive. If you've got dark skin, you're not as attractive as someone with light. So many of them. And so even if you're black and educated and you're like, I don't even subscribe to that, they still exist within us on some level. And I think when it comes to Love and being vulnerable, that's the other thing. Like, we're taught you are a strong black woman. So being vulnerable is seen as a weakness. I mean, there's so many things. And so I think even those internal stories we have about ourselves or that society says we are can be hard when dating.

But how do those things stop our manifestations? Right. Because I still think that black and brown women manifest just like everybody else. Right. But maybe it doesn't come to pass as much. So those things that you've just highlighted, how do they block what one is trying to manifest?

So I'll give you an example. So, for example, like, I'll have a client who's a woman of color, and she might come to me and say, I want to manifest more money. You know, I'm. I. I get money, but it's in dribs and drabs, or I can't ever seem to manifest more than this. And when we look at it, it might come down to worthiness and a feeling of I'm not worthy of receiving more money. Now, this is nothing to do with how confident this woman is or how talented this woman is or what she can accomplish. But there's something that she wasn't even aware of that affects her receiving money. So when she's, you know, working on her business or trying to apply for a job, a job promotion in corporate, and it comes to, why should we give you the job? Or why should you receive this? They start to dilute their power. Or maybe they won't give me this. And the client's always surprised, like, where is this coming from? And it's that it's those stories that have been buried. So it's not even that they can't manifest. It's just that there are these.