My Client Pamela Testimonial Interview

So I hope everyone's doing well today. For those of you that don't know me, my name is Anwar White, and I am the CEO and founder of get yout Guy Coaching. And I help high achieving good girls get their guy. Meet high quality men, date strategically AKA with a plan so that they can get into the healthiest, safest relationship of their lives.

I.

So for those that are thinking about turning this new chapter in your love life for 2022, I want to let you know that it's possible that so many of my clients are doing it. And one of my clients will come on in a little bit and talk a little bit about her experience in the program and how she's been able to level up her love life as well. So before I get into that, though, I think it's important for us to understand that you are in complete control of this. That even though you may have had some issues in the past, your past doesn't dictate exactly what your future love life or love journey will look like. And I know this because all of my clients come to me and we completely redirect their love destiny. And I want you to be a part of that as well. So you have control over this. And it's really up to you to figure out if you are ready to take hold of that. If you are ready.

I want you to reach out to me via dm or you can also.

Book a free consultation call at www.getyourguycoaching.com apply and we'll talk all about your love life. All right, I have a current client.

That is going to.

We're gonna chat and talk about it.

Okay. Here she is. Oh, my gosh.

Hey, Pamgirl. Hello. Hello. How are you?

I'm good. How are you doing?

I'm doing fantastic.

You look good.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Got my hair done?

Yes. It looks good, girl. Thank you.

Happy holidays to you. I haven't talked to you in a while because I've taken the last week or so off. How have you been?

I've been fantastic. You know, busy. Always busy.

She's. She's a busy lady, y'. All. Look, I'm. Let me just say I'm so happy. I want to thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to just kind of chat with me and also chat with the followers and listeners of the podcast about, you know, your experience. I think it's, like, really helpful to hear from people who are actually going through the program to understand what it looks like, what sort of support is given at that time just so that they can, for those of the, those women that are on the fence, get an understanding of what it really looks like. Because that's the question that I get a lot. But before we kind of get into that, why don't you kind of just maybe introduce yourself a little bit, Tell the people who you are and how fabulous you are.

Okay. Yes. Hi, my name is Pam.

I'm usually on here at Speech Orlando. I'm a speech language pathologist. I own my own practice. I am a single mother of three amazing children, ages 21, 18 and 8. So busy, busy, busy. I'm an author, I'm a guest speaker, business, business consultant. And just busy, busy, busy. And I love life and, you know, so I excel at a lot of things. And some things not so much.

You are a high achieving woman, which is, you know, the women that I work with. And it's been a joy to coach you and continue to coach you. So why don't you talk a little bit about kind of your, your thought process into working with me. Right, because you have been dating for a while, but there's a specific decision that is, that is made to like actually do this thing. So talk, talk to the people about it.

Okay, so. Oh my gosh, I see so many speech language pathologists on here, which is funny. Okay, so a little bit about me being a high achieving speech language pathologist. I put a lot into being a speech language pathologist, a speech therapist, building my practice, being there for my kids, being there for my husband when he was alive. I'm widowed right now, so I put a lot into that. I didn't put a lot into healing me and my inner child and kind of even having an idea of what I want as far as relationships and different things like that. So when my husband did pass away, I just kind of buried all of that down. And I don't know, whenever there is a good time to really start working on that, you're always, oh, I'll do it. When.

I. Ultimately I felt like it was time to work on some things.

Because I wanted to put myself first and I definitely wanted to hopefully leave some kind of good legacy with my kids. Like, I want them to see that they're, you know, their healing is important, that it's ongoing, it's an ongoing work and it's, it's worth it and it's something to be valued. So it's been a process. It continues to be a process.

Yeah, definitely, definitely. So let's talk a little Bit about you coming into the program. And let's talk about some of the things that you've gained Right. As you have kind of gone through this process.

Okay. Can I just be honest? Honestly, I was very resistant. No, I. I knew I wanted it for myself, but I wasn't always like, yeah, let's go. Many times there was a lot of eye rolls, and, you know, it's not always comfortable. But coming into the program, I had a lot of walls up, and I had a lot of difficulty with vulnerability. Like, I thought I was okay in these areas, like, thinking, okay, I'm good. You know, I can be vulnerable with guys. I'm good with being in a relationship. But it turns out, no, not.

I love that you're able to admit that early when we started working together.

Yeah, at this point, I'm able to admit that. So I think it's definitely been a journey to, you know, once you kind of come and see, like, oh, my gosh, there's a lot of things that are to be worked on, and it's not overwhelming. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. Just take it piece by piece. And as a result, I've met some amazing people, amazing guys, and been able to navigate it with, I think, at this point, peace. A lot of peace. A lot of peace. Like, even just today. Okay. So I went to get my hair done, and I'm walking in, and, you.

Know, my hair is, like, all over.

The place, and I've got a lot of. I have grays showing, right. So I gotta get it all colored and all that good stuff. And I'm walking in and, you know, I've put on a little bit of weight, but I looked at myself and I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm so cute. Like, even the way I look at myself and the way I, like, affirm myself, even through the changes, like, clearly, you know, I need to work out a little bit more, but that's. It doesn't even matter. Like, I appreciate myself in such a new and exciting way. So that's really exciting, too.

I love that. And I'm so happy that you were able to see that, because it's like, you know, when, like, you bring your kids around family and your family's like, oh, my God, they've grown so much. But, like, you. You're just there every day. So, like, I guess, like, they're just. But it's like actually being able to step back and be like, wow, I've grown so much during this time. It's, like, so important. And I'm so glad that you, you called out the vulnerability, which is such a huge hindrance for so many women out there, right. In terms of without that vulnerability and without lowering those walls so that people can actually see the real estate.

Right. Because it's such a good turn. I really had no idea how much of a toxic, like, you know, I'm thinking like Superman. Like, it's like kryptonite to guys when we come across and we're not vulnerable and we think, well, they've not earned the right for me to be vulnerable. So I'm just gonna stay and I'm going to. You know, I read it, I read an article. Someone sent me an article today about some different trends in dating. And I'm thinking, well, I'm really glad I've gone through this program to know that that's complete and utter bull. You know, some of the different things, like making sure you hardball a guy first date and tell them exactly what you're looking for. And I'm like, oh, that will not work, you know, because that's not really being vulnerable. So I know why these things aren't going to work. Not like, oh, let me try it out. That sounds like fun. Let me see if that works.

And more than anything, like I would say also this program, it really helped me to kind of know why I like the things that I like. Like, I do cherish attention. Okay. And that sounds so simple. Like, everybody's like, of course I like attention too. I like attention too. No, no, no. But it's a real need for me, you know, and it comes back from my childhood. So I know it's a need for me. And when I don't get attention, I have the choice to have a mature response, to know that, okay, this is. I need attention, but clearly there's something else going on. And I've been able to navigate so many more.

Relationship type, you know, situations because I know my needs, because I know when my needs aren't being met. And I can make that decision of, okay, how do I proceed from there? Do I proceed with a little bit more grace or I just have a better understanding instead of just possibly beating myself up and saying, oh, you're just trying to, you know, gain all the attention. Well, no, it's a need. I know, and I need to see how I move forward from there. So it's been a. It's been great. It's been great. As a busy professional, it's been great and very empowering.

I'm so happy to Hear that? You know, I always say that clarity really gives confidence. And with that confidence, you can do whatever you want in your love life. Right. And, like, not feel like you have to be triggered all the time, because small things can trigger, like, very big responses and reactions. And so I'm so glad that you have the clarity now to be able to navigate that in a way that's gonna best serve you right more than anything else. And you have been meeting some quality guys.

I have.

I have.

So it's. It's exciting. It's exciting to see where everything goes. And I used to be a nut. I used to be a nutcase. Like, I used to.

How are you at that?

I was neurotic. I was always like, oh, you know, even when I set a date, I say, okay, all right, let's do a date. And I'd, like, check it off my list. Very deep, you know, just very goal oriented. So it was like, check off the list. Okay, got a date. All right. So now they need to come up with the magical date and read my mind and wow me, you know, and there's so much pressure on them. So there's a lot of things I don't want to divulge and go into all of it, but there's a proper way of doing things that makes them feel comfortable. And, you know, you can even share and move in more vulnerability. And it's just been a lot easier. I just feel a lot more at peace. I'm not as anxious, you know, because life happens when you are in a relationship. And so it's definitely been very, very good to kind of navigate everything with peace, you know, And I would also.

Say with that vulnerability, some of the work that we've done, like I do with all of my clients, is boundary work and really being able to set boundaries and feel good about them. Not feel like you are a bitch or rude or anything like that, but, like, doing it in a way that you feel good about yourself instead of just this kind of adversarial, kind of confrontational energy.

Right, right. I did navigate something very early on with a guy. And I think a lot of women I know, I did kind of shy away from the boundaries because a little bit, you know, fearful, especially if someone is being, well, assertive or you don't know exactly how they're being. And it's kind of hard to, you know, navigate things. But setting those boundaries, it really helped me to express boundaries without, you know, feeling that I'm being extra or I'm being difficult or I'm Being unreasonable. Like, boundaries are boundaries, and they're very healthy. And it's. It takes practice. It takes practice. It definitely can become second nature.

So. Yeah. And I feel like it has with you in so many ways. So I'm just really proud of you for just that transformation. Right. It's been really amazing. So talk to me about kind of any sort of surprises that you were not expecting through this process that, like, you're like, oh, this is interesting. I wasn't expecting this or other parts of your life that have been changed or transformed in working and kind of focusing on this part of your life, your love life, that you've noticed.

Well, definitely in my professional life, setting boundaries, even many times with. Let me see. Many times with parents and. And there's definitely the need for counseling, and I don't have a lot of time. So when I spend time with counseling or when I spend time with.

Employees or any kind of staff, I need to make sure that I'm doing it in an efficient way. And vulnerability. Being vulnerable really helps. Being professional, but being vulnerable and getting to the point, and it helps to build that rapport on so many different levels. And it's been very key, I think, to the growth of my practice and connecting with people. And I'll call you later. I have a new thing that, you know, happened. But, yes, girl, text me after this.

Or we'll talk after this.

We'll talk afterwards. So lots of job opportunities because of connecting and that vulnerability and just the way being able to connect with people, it opens doors. It really opens doors. You may think it, and I think I had the thought that it makes you weaker, but connection, people are, even professionally, without crossing lines, staying within boundaries because, you know, you're moving within boundaries. But people want connection and being able to connect with people in a. In an easy way, in an authentic.

Way, in a way that you still feel safe. Right. That you're, like, telling all your business out there in the world. Right. There are ways to be vulnerable and.

Still feel even in a professional sense. But just that vulnerability speaks volume in relationships and dating and family life, as a mother, as an employer, a lot of different ways. It definitely helps to attract the right clientele, attract the right staff, and also build new business relationships and dating relationships.

Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. So talk to me a little bit or talk to the people about some of the support that you have had kind of in the program, because I don't think people understand that I am, like, here.

Yes. No. Yes. So the support is 100% there.

I.

Would say, you know, even wrapping your head around you going on a date, usually, you know, you stay in your head and you're like, oh, okay, this, that, and the other. But there's things that you don't really think about. And when you're just in your head, more than likely you don't have a little guy in your head. You usually don't as a woman. And we think, oh, I know how they think, or I know him, or whatever. But it's very nice to have male perspective, because there's things that you would not even remotely think. Even though you may think I'm moving and masculine energy, I'm more masculine than feminine. I get along with guys more than girls. That ain't it. It's still not it. It's still not it. It's still not it. So having. And we're having you as, you know, just someone to bounce ideas off of. And after the date, just, you're like.

Oh, my gosh, our date downloads, girl. Our date downloads.

Or, hey, it was great. It was fantastic. I'm super excited. It's like, you know, eight out of ten, blah, blah, blah. So it really helps to have that. I mean.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's really important because, you know, earlier in this conversation, you said, oh, I have to tell you about this later. And I don't think people understand that. No, like, we're texting. Yeah, we're texting often with each other, because part of the work is also being able to connect and rely on a man. And so I am here to. So that you, as my clients, can be relying on me and texting me and asking for help and getting into the, you know, the habit and the pattern of doing that, because in a relationship, that's how it's going to be.

Yeah. Yeah.

I want you to be in the. I want you to be in the habit of that so that you don't have to go from 0 to 100 when you get in a relationship. It's a seamless transition. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I do it also, because every date, every interaction is an opportunity for you to learn. Learn about who you are in this love game, in this love space and dating and relationships about men. Right. Um, there are some men that will trigger you. There are some men that will illuminate some other parts of you that you didn't know were there or there to a certain degree. And so the reason why I'm talking to my clients at the beginning of dates or after dates, is to kind of talk through all of that, right? So that you are super clear and that you're able to internalize it. Because as busy, successful women, and those are the women that I work with, we knock something off of our list. We hit the goal, we move forward. Right. Radio that's oftentimes some of the reasons why this part of their life isn't necessarily where they may want it to be. Because we haven't done the analysis to understand the whys, the hows and the what's of these interactions, especially with men. They're a special creature.

They are special. They are so special. They are special in a good way, but special in a special way too.

So, yeah. So for anyone who's thinking about joining the program, or maybe, let's say on the fence, maybe they followed me for a few months or so, what would you tell them?

Well, you know, coaching. And that's what, you know, I would say Anwar is an excellent coach, but you do need a coach. I mean, it's not unlike anything else. If you wanted to learn tennis, you're going to need a tennis coach. And unfortunately, Anwar, I am exactly like this on the tennis court. I'm just like, I don't get it by my body mechanics. I have no awareness of body mechanics whatsoever. They're like, oh, you're flipping your wrist back. I'm like, what are you even talking about? You know, So I am.

You're giving the people a glimpse into our sessions, girl.

Yeah, it's a lot of. But you know what? I put it into play and I, you know, I. I make the adjustments. Basically, just like tennis, I make the adjustments, I make the adjustments. And it doesn't really come from an internal voice, Let me just say, a lot of it is so counterintuitive. So for anybody that's on the fence, I really would say you're swimming in a direction that is intuitive. But honestly, I can say on the other side, I guess I can say kind of going on the other side of doing dating successfully and feeling good about it and feeling in charge and empowered, a lot of that on the other side is counterintuitive. So you do need someone that's going to kind of steer you not beyond what you want to do, not impose anything, not make you do anything, but just to give you an alternative way of thinking of actually looking at the root of some of the problems, because that's, that's very important. There's so much baggage you don't want to bring into a relationship, you know, and just Saying, oh, you know, time heals it, or I've dealt with it.

Sure, girl, sure.

So it really does. If you're. If you're ready and you're ready to, you know, face the truth of some things and you don't have to do it alone, and you don't have to say, you don't have to stay in the same spot, basically, because more than likely your dream guy or the guy you're looking for is not going to be stuck in that same spot. It's on that.

On that, you know, other side of healing, you know, or on that journey. So, yeah, just get moving.

Yeah, yeah, cut the inertia. I love that. What's really interesting, I'm so glad that you brought this up, is that, you know, the success that you have in all other parts of your life and the way that you do things to attain that success is not going to help you in this part of your life. And this is why there may be struggles, right, because you're trying to do what you did in terms of get that job or get those good grades and do all of that, and all of that is going to make things harder and worse for you. And so it'll be very hard to do something completely different than you've ever done it before. Right. And it's going to bring up questions about, well, who the hell am I? What's really. What's really going on here, right? And that is what I think is the value out of having a coach so that you have someone holding your hand as you kind of go through this new terrain, Right. And figure out and get stronger as you continue up, you know, up the mountain and through the track. Right. I think that's what's really important and the value added, the coaching as well. So I'm so glad that you shared that, because I think it's like such. Such an important way to think about this part of our lives is that you have to do it differently. And if you continue the same way, girl, you're going to be in a weap of hurt and trouble. Yes. That's been my experience. I don't wish that on anyone.

But it's true. It's true. It's true.

Good, good, good, good, good, good. All right. Well, thank you so much, girl, for sharing your time with me and sharing your experience with all of the people. I so truly appreciate it. I think it.

Directly from amazing women that have been through the program, that are going through the program because they're still in the program and understanding exactly their Experiences so they can know what to expect, you know, when they're in the program as well. Are there any other final thoughts or feelings.

For a second? I was saying, do you have any other thoughts or feelings that you want to share?

I would just say, you know, as much as we think we're ready.

Girl, you may not be ready. So it takes process to get ready. And it seems like, oh, well, how wouldn't I be ready for love? Or how would. It's a lot. It's a lot and it's all good and it's amazing. But there's definitely some prep work. I think that, you know.

It'S a lot to intake. Yes, it's beautiful. But, you know, when someone accepts you for who you are and all your quirky craziness, it's like.

It'S a great feeling. It's a great feeling. And it's worth the work. It's worth the work.

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. It is a lot. And so I think for women out there that are interested in joining the program, we have a new group coaching program that's starting in January with a lot of amazing individuals from around the world. Please DM me or you can book a consultation call at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply. As Pam says, it's work. It's great work and it's moving you toward your love goals, but you need to be prepared to actually do the work. There's a reason why my program is six months long, because there are some times where it's going to be hard and there are going to be dips and highlights and low lights and things like that. It's all part of the journey. So I want to kind of manage your expectations around what that looks like as we move forward. But in my group coaching program, I want to be really clear and help you understand that the program promises that we will continue to work with you until you get your guy up to an entire year. So I want you to know that this isn't just like a come in and come out, like some sort of factory situation here. And I'm not shading other coaches, business, dating, whatever. I'm actually. I give a shit about the fact that I want you to find your person. Right. That's why I'm here. Especially if you're a woman of color, because it is. There are different challenges that are involved there. So we're going to work with you until you get your guy, because that's the name of the fucking company.

And this is exactly what it's like.

It's a lot of trees. Just a lot of truth coming at you.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Girl. Don't call me out.

I'm not.

Don't call me out.

Pam, thank you so much for joining us and being here. This has been a joy and I am so excited to hear about what you have to tell me. But for everyone out there, thank you so much for joining us and we will talk with you soon. Bye.

Bye.