Anwar White reflects on growing up in an all-women household with an abusive father who left when he was 8, and how that shaped his distrust of men and his approach to relationships. He credits vulnerability and social support as key to making partnerships work, and describes using sports and distance from men as coping strategies before becoming partnered and raising three children.
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Hello, my loves. Thank you so much for joining me on the get your guy coaching podcast. I am so happy to be.
I am so happy that you tuned in today to listen to me talk about my own love journey, which, you know, I'm not actually in the practice of doing. But, you know, I'm always teaching my loves, my clients, to be vulnerable.
And this is a way for me to also be vulnerable. I think it's important to.
Be very open about your love life to the people that you love because they will support you when you're on a high, and they will support you when you're on a low, and you will need that. This love journey goes in so many different directions, and support is paramount to success when it comes to love, dating, relationships, and men. So. So I'm going to be sharing with you a little bit about what love looked like for me and how I became partnered with three children, living my best life.
So I guess I will start when I was growing up. You know, I grew up in a family of all women, and, you know, my father abandoned me when I was.
8 years old, so roughly in third grade. And I mention this because even though at the time I didn't really make anything of, actually had a very profound effect on the way that I related to men, ultimately, I didn't trust them. Pair that with also seeing all of the horrible relationships that all of the amazing black women in my life were having, there was no way that men were being trusted when it came to me. So I always kind of was at a distance when it came to them. And also couple that with my own sexuality and feeling like no heterosexual man will ever accept me, I felt like I should just be pushing all kinds of men aside.
The saving grace to kind of all of that, though, was that before my father left us, or I keep on saying he left us, he left us because we had to move away from him because he was abusive.
And I share that because that's another reason why I wanted to create distance.
Between me and men, because I felt like they were dangerous and unsafe.
So when we.
Ran away.
Okay, cut that small part.
But. And I was saying this that before my. Before we parted ways, my father and I, I think he knew that I was gay and he wanted to toughen me up. So he always put me in two or three at one time, thinking that that would toughen me up. So I was playing baseball, I was playing basketball, I was playing tennis. I was playing all of these different sports all the time.
And later on, what that did for me was obviously it made me competitive and athletic, but it gave me a space and opportunity to be in close proximity with men, boys and then men later on in my life where I was able to learn how to interact with them, understand how they think, understand what they need, deserve, yearn for. I'm saying.
