Short YouTube monologue by Anwar White offering dating advice about biological differences in how men and women bond during early dating and sexual intimacy. Key claims: women bond earlier due to oxytocin (feelings by first date), men start 'from zero' and consider exclusivity around dates 6–8, and sex creates bonding for women but can reduce bonding in men via vasopressin changes. The speaker gives behavioral prescriptions (don’t like before 3rd date; delay intimacy until exclusivity).
Chapters
Men date from zero and girls date from 100. Hey, girl. This is totally correct, and it's all based on hormones. Let me spill some tea for you that you might not know. So what happens when you're getting to know a guy and let's say you're chatting with him on an app or you're texting with him? Your oxytocin will increase and you will already feel bonded to this guy. So when you get to first date, you're already. And let me know if you've been this girl, because I know I've been this girl on the first date. You are thinking about how y' all are going to look in the wedding pictures, what your kids are going to look like, all of that. Whereas he is starting from zero. He doesn't even really kind of like you yet. No shade. So there's a huge disconnect here. And so we get. Sometimes we get butthurt because we expect him to have the same level of commitment and expectation and feelings when that's not necessarily the case. So this is what I want you to do to temper your expectations. I. I don't want you to even like this guy until you get to a third date, because I know that 97% of the guys that you actually go out with will never get to a past third date. Secondly, please know that he's not even thinking about exclusivity until between dates 6 and 8, physical dates 6 through 8. So I don't want you to even think about that until you get there, okay? Secondly, when we are having sex and we're intimate again, women are at 100. Once you get that big O, girl, you are going to be chemically bonded to this guy. That's why I always say it's safest to not get intimate until you're in an exclusive relationship. Whereas when a guy is intimate with you, his vasopressin will actually decrease and he will feel disconnected and less bonded to you. So he's not even at a zero. He's at a negative when you all are intimate. So. So men and women are very different. And if you want to learn how to not just get your guy, but, like, get him and understand men, definitely book a call with me. I can definitely help you with that. And let me know in the comments. Have you experienced wanting to marry a guy on the first date? I hope this helps.
