Olympic Dating GYG Podcast S1E12

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week, you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

Hello, my loves. Thank you so much for joining me. Today, I am going to be talking about Olympic dating. Now, I'm pretty sure that you might not know what that is, but it is something that I swear by and something that I encourage all of my clients to do. And so I wanted to kind of share a little bit about that with you just so that you can be leveling up your dating and making sure that you're getting your guy as quickly and as effectively as possible. When I say Olympic dating, I mean that I want you to be dating multiple people, multiple men. And I want you to have a gold medalist, I want you to have a silver medalist, and I want you to have a bronze medalist. And it's so funny, because when I'm talking to my clients, I will continually ask them, what medal does this guy have right now on your podium? And they'll let me know. And it's a great way for you to compare and contrast men, figure out who's doing what and if you like it or not, just so that you can get a better sense of what you want when it comes to dating and relationships. Right. The thing about Olympic dating is that it also gives you an opportunity to really understand that if they're not competing and if they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing, then they're off of the podium, they're out, they get no medal. Right. I'm always reminded of watching the Winter Olympics, specifically the figure skating. And when people first start or first compete, they will have the top score and they will be in medal contention. And then as more and more athletes do their performances, they get knocked off. Right. You might be gold medalists, and then for some reason, someone comes in, Nancy Kerrigan or Oksana Bayoul, and knocks you out of gold medal contention. Right. And it's the same thing with men. I want you to always be dating multiple men because ultimately, you are single until you are in a relationship. Right. Let me repeat that again. You're single until you are in an exclusive relationship. A lot of women out there are acting as if when they're dating someone, that that means that they're in a relationship and it doesn't. So I want you to stop that immediately because it's literally like, as I say, putting all of your eggs in one basket or just putting all of your money in one stock, right? If I put all of my money in Apple and their next iPhone flops, girl, I'm out of money. Just like if you focus on one man and it doesn't work out, you're shit out of luck. And I don't want that for you. I want you to diversify your portfolio so that you're always getting returns regardless of what one man is doing, how one stock is performing or not. When thinking about dating in general, I think that moderation is key, right? It keeps you from moving too fast or moving too slow when you're getting to know new men and what they're really bringing to the table. And the most powerful way to achieve this moderation is Olympic dating. Now, Olympic dating, like I was saying before, is exactly the opposite of, I guess, the urban legend that's out there, which is like the three date role. You know, you go on three dates and on that third date, if a guy is quote unquote, potentially the one, then you have sex with him or you lose him forever. It's like this do or die situation, right? I know a lot of women still subscribe to this super outdated and actually just not the most effective way for you to be getting your guy. And that's what it's all about. It's all about being effective. In my dating program. I want you to avoid that kind of pressure, right? And that early decision making about whether you're going to, you know, share your love with someone else. By not seeing any one man too often you find the men who are really into you and who will also stay the course. And ultimately, I think it helps you skillfully move and navigate the dating world a little bit. One thing that I've learned in operating and instituting Olympic dating for my clients is that it also builds your self esteem and you're going to find men that are much more fulfilling and you're going to cut men off who are not doing what they're supposed to do quicker. So you're saving yourself a ton of heartache, right, because you're focused on the men that are showing up and not the men that are just half assing it. Look, I know what you're probably thinking, that this idea of finding and juggling multiple guys sounds like a challenge. And maybe for Some of you out there. It might sound like it's almost impossible at this point, but I want to reassure you this Olympic dating is amazing. And it won't be impossible or challenging once you begin using all tools that I'm going to tell you about when it comes to Olympic dating. So why does Olympic dating work? There are sound biological reasons why Olympic dating works and just kicks all ass. First of all, it helped you avoid the number one mistake that single women make, and that's this addictive moth to a flame over involvement with some new guy who's supposedly the one. Right. Please raise your hand right now if that was you. I have my hand raised. Here's the thing. Romantic love is actually a real addiction. It's like shooting up cocaine or heroin. Oftentimes reason just goes out of the window. When we fall in love, our brains make large quantities of dopamine and norepinephrine, which also happens when you take speed.

Right? These brain chemicals create that excited, exhilarating and focused state that allows us to have eight hour dates or be on the phone for hours on end and also at the same time remember every single detail about what that new hottie did or what he said. And the thing about it is that these speed like chemicals can also drive up our levels of testosterone, which increases our sexual desire. So the second reason why Olympic dating works is that when we fall in love, our serotonin levels fall and it actually resembles the kind of levels that are found in people with obsessive compulsive disorder. We tend to ruminate and fantasize and obsess about our new drug like boyfriends. The new love is in our thoughts all day and all night and practically in our dreams. Right? What happens is when you're seeing a guy or you're feeling like you're in love, your brain is saying, focus on him, focus on him, focus on him. And everything that you can think about is just on him. Right? This is definitely what happens when you're a teenager and it can happen when you're an adult as well. And I don't think a lot of women recognize or realize that that boy crazy feeling that you were feeling is not just focused on age, but it's really about the sensation of what engaging romantically with people feels like. Once this process takes over your entire mind and your body, it's like a craving coke addict, like you lose touch of all reality. And oftentimes you're just seeing the positives in this new hot guy that you've been talking to. Right. You'll lose self control and you'll just be locked into your target, ready to do the craziest, most outrageous things. And also some things that might be self destructive. Right? You're going to do whatever it takes to be with him. And that's dangerous. It's only going to take like one look, one sweet word and you're hooked again. Even if you don't really know him, even if it's not in your best interest. And as you continue to spend more time together, that addiction will just intensify. The other thing about falling so hard and moving so quickly is that that rush of love that you're feeling when it goes the opposite direction, meaning if he rejects you, then you're put yourself at risk for this agonizing withdrawal. That's when the sleeplessness comes, the crying spouts, the over and under eating, the obsessive and upsetting thoughts. It all messes with your brain chemistry even further. Olympic dating safeguards you from all of that against all of those dangers of love addiction. I want you to be less likely to lock on to him with a singular focus that ultimately puts you at risk. That way you can avoid getting emotionally and physiologically devastated if it turns out that he's a player or a flake or a toxic narc and just completely wrong for you. Olympic dating also stops you from having sex prematurely. And I want to focus on this a little bit because it is so important. Why is it important, you may ask? Well, girl, it's simple biology. When you have sex with someone, your body drives up those levels of oxytocin, both during the whole sexual act and after you leave the scene. Oxytocin, which has been called the kettle bonding hormone, creates this really strong biological attachment. And that means that your body is going to automatically start the attachment process with almost anyone you're in bed with, whether or not you want to be in a relationship with them. Now, if you add that chemical to any dopamine surges, girl, you're already probably desperately waiting for his text, his email, his phone call, and already lost complete control, right? Jumping into bed too soon means that you open yourself up to premature infatuation and dependency and this weird kind of pseudo intimacy that almost always backfires and you'll likely lose yourself. And girl, I don't want that for you. I don't want you to be that girl. I want you to always have complete power in your love life and complete control. So that's why I want you to be focused on this Olympic dating that I'M telling you about now, girl, I'm giving you all of this tea that I usually give all of my clients. But I want you to win in dating and this is such a great way of doing it. Okay? So another benefit of Olympic dating is that dating multiple men usually gets the guys juices flowing. I know it sounds so weird girl, it's so true. A lot of men, especially the achiever types, are really wired to compete and to win in this game of courtship and will interestingly encourage them if they like you, to really get exclusive with you. Here's the thing. When his reward, which is you, is not easily gained, his brain will pump out more and more chemical dopamine. And that extra dopamine just really intensifies his feelings of being swept away by love. Love researchers have found that those who want to trigger romance in a would be lover might artfully create some sort of mystery, right barriers or uncertainty in the relationship. And when you're Olympic dating, you don't have to fake this quality of not being so available. Olympic dating automatically accomplishes this desirable state for you. As one of my clients once told me, now I don't have to pretend I actually am hard to get. Girl, I want you to be hard to get as well.

Olympic dating or dating multiple guys, I would like to hope that it's around three will help clarify. Also like I was saying before, what you want and need in a man because you can easily and instantly compare and contrast them. So for example, if Friday rolls around and shtan is super cheap on your date and then Saturday rolls around and Randy clearly showcases a more giving nature. Those qualities will be more pronounced and will elicit a more clear response from you about what you like and what you don't like. And the only way that you're able to do this is through this abundance mindset in the multiple men that you're dating. So girl, here's the tea. Olympic dating is not super easy, but life's not easy. What I do know about Olympic dating is that it's truly empowering and that's what I want for you. It allows you to be long sighted and keep your eye on the prize which for many of my clients is getting into an exclusive relationship and getting married, which so many of my clients do within two years. But it helps you end some of your destructive dating patterns. It's going to free you from this three date rule that so many people have these days that it's totally outdated and it's going to keep you protected from all of the Scenarios that are designed to break your heart in this love game. Now I know what some of you may be thinking. Anwar. Girl, how am I going to date three men when I can't even get one? Girl, shut up.

Please shut up. Seriously, girl, there are 51 million single men just in the US right now. And different ones are coming on the market all the time. Girl, as we speak, there's probably been 10,000 newly single men. And every year there are new online dating sites that bring in a whole new crop of men to choose from. Girl, there are men out there no matter what your age, weight. I know a lot of women out there are saying, well, you know, I'm black and they're not looking out for me. Girl, yes they are. I'm 45 or over, girl. Ton of men want a woman that age to live the rest of their lives with. Oh, I'm a single mom and I don't have a lot of time. Girl, there are a ton of single dads out there. Or I'm really successful and that scares men away. Girl. No, it doesn't. Girl. You're just not finding the right men for you. As you can tell, I'm not taking any excuses. It is 2021, 2020 fun. And we are having fun in this dating life and we're not playing this excuse game anymore. There are millions of men out there and girl, we gotta talk to them. We have to meet them. You have to figure out if you can connect with any of them. You have to put yourself out there. And I know that's like such cliche advice, but really, I truly believe that nine out of the 10 guys that you talk to will not be the one. Let's figure that out. Let's start dating them, right? So I want to talk a little bit about this stinking thinking.

Right? We have a lot of stories in our head. In order to really work Olympic dating, you're gonna have to cut back that negative self talk that I'm too fat, I'm too old, I'm too shy, I have too much cellulite, I'm too skinny, my lips are too big. I've heard it all, girl. Most women carry around this negative self talk based on scarcity, which I've talked about in a most recent episode. I think it was episode 10 about scarcity mindset, right? This kind of stinking thinking can really contribute to some depressing and self defeating thoughts. Here's the thing about Olympic dating. It's gonna squash all of that thinking. Not all of it, but most of it right? There's nothing like having three men interested in you to boost your self esteem. The Olympic dating is also going to help you practice the kind of self love and compassionate inner dialogue that is super important to creating a loving relationship that lasts. So one of my former clients, Joan, she was a 34 year old realtor who had just left an empty marriage a year before she started the get your guy program. She said this about Olympic dating. It was daunting dating three men at the same time because I had never dated that many at a time. But it has helped me stay less attached to who I think is the one and with so much attention. It's strange, but I'm just beginning to feel I deserve to be courted. I'm worth it for guys to hang in there and work for me. And girl, I want to offer that to you as well. You deserve to be courted. You're worth it for guys to hang in there and work for you. As you begin dating multiple men, some interesting feelings may come up for you. These feelings of faithfulness and guilt. Issues that need to be worked through. Just remember, you're simply turning the tables. Men have been dating like this for eons. Girl, they're following some sort of patriarchal tradition of dating more than one woman at a time. In other words, they did the sorting and the selecting. But girl, not anymore. When you begin Olympic dating, you're shifting the balance of power to be more equitable. Starting now, I want you to take a stand for yourself. A stand that says that you deserve a great partner. Girl, take your time. Learn what is possible in a relationship and start playing an active role in choosing who you're with. Girl, don't wait to be chosen. We're doing the choosing now. Okay, with all of the online and offline possibilities, you have an abundance of men at arm's reach and you have the ability to pick and choose for yourself. So girl, go out and get these men. Fine your Olympic athletes. Alright, much love to you. Talk Soon.

Hey girl, thank you so much for listening to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Talk soon.