Organizing for Love With Lucy M. Wahl - Get Your Guy Coaching Podcast S1E13

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do without anyone but you.

Hello, loves. Thank you so much for joining me today on this very special episode that we have. I have a dear friend, an amazing professional organizer. Her name is Lucy Wall. Lucy is the founder and CEO of LMW Edit, and she is going to talk about everything, organization, everything, clarity. Lucy, thank you so much for joining me. I just want the audience to know a little bit about, like, what you do and how you help people really just kind of get their homes and lives in order.

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for having me, Anwar. It's great talking to you. So I'm a professional organizer, and what that means is I deal with stuff. So when you have stuff that you don't know what to do with, you would call someone like me. So I help people sort of streamline what they've got, create organizational systems and sort of figure out how to deal with their stuff. And the reason I do it is not so that you can have some pretty picture you can post on Instagram of, like, your rainbow order shelves or whatever.

Okay, so it's not for ig.

It can be at the end, but that's not the goal. Right. The goal is that an organized home just. It makes your life easier. It's the secret weapon that levels up everything you do, from work to hobbies to even your relationships with your family or partner, if you live with those. So, yeah, it's all about making life easier.

I love that. And just FYI, Lucy and I have known each other from boarding school, and she was one of the most organized students then. So it makes perfect sense that you are killing the game in all things organization now.

So we are both following our passions, I think.

I love this. Talk to me a little bit more about kind of how you became a professional organizer.

Yeah. So it was not something I sort of expected to do. My first career was in nonprofit fundraising. I worked at Stanford University for a few years. I went and got my mba, and I was planning to continue a career in fundraising. But after the experience of my mba, I was just getting interviews for basically. Basically the same job I'd had before, just being responsible for more zeros. And I thought, gosh, that's not very exciting. And the nice thing about having just come out of an MBA program was that everybody in my class was starting businesses. You know, I went to ucla. There's a real entrepreneurship focus there. And so I thought, well, I mean, all these people are starting these companies. Surely I can at least start something. Right?

Yeah.

And so talk to friends and family. And just like you said, what came up was, wow, you're really organized. You should make something out of that. So that was where idea started, and I started researching and figuring out, oh, yeah, this is something I can do, and this is something I'd be good at.

So, yeah, so you talk to your friends and family, and they were like, you're, like, the most organized person that I know.

Yeah, yeah. People would say, you know, you need to do something where you give people advice. I was like, oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. So first, let me just say the way that my mom used to get me to clean my room, she would basically just say, a clear and clean room is a clear and clean mind. So talk to me a little bit about what organization in the home means to you.

So at its core, organization means that whatever I need to do, whatever I'm looking for, I can find it and get it done quickly and efficiently. So I'm not wasting time rummaging through shelves or, like, opening drawers and dumping stuff out. Oh, I need to pay that bill. I need this. The checks, the stamps, they're there. Bing, bang, bam. It's just about being able to do what you need to do quickly so you can get that boring stuff done and get on with the rest of your life.

Yeah. And what do you think it means specifically to women? I mean, I feel like women definitely think about their homes differently than men do. I mean, guys can literally just have a sofa and PlayStation. So talk to me a little bit about that.

Yeah. So I think what's interesting is that women, we are definitely still subscribing to gender roles. I'm in a lot of people's homes. I talk to a lot of couples, and without realizing it, a lot of us really do fall into those same old, tired gender roles where women are responsible for the home and men kind of get a free pass. That said, I think that's not great in a couple of ways. Right. There's the obvious way where, like, we need to share the burden. Right. But then there's the way where I think Women sometimes get too fixated on what stuff looks like and whether or not they're doing it right and whether or not it's good enough. And I tend to tell people, if it works for you, that's what matters. It doesn't matter if you're using the same font on your labels as that famous organizer on Instagram. And it doesn't matter if you use the same system as your friend who has a really giant walk in closet. That doesn't matter. What's inside of your home is ultimately for you. And when you listen to your gut and what you need and create the home environment that supports that, that's when the magic happens.

I love that. And that is exactly how I think about dating and relationships. Right? You have to make it work for you. And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on this podcast, because there are so many parallels between kind of getting your home life together and getting your love life together. And it is really about making life easier, making sure that you feel comfortable in your own space and the things that surround you. Right. So I just love that you said that. Let me just step back a second because my partner and I, we just went to see his mother in law and she had a lot of stuff. And so why do you think it's hard for people to organize and why you think people have so much stuff these days?

Oh, gosh, a lot of reasons. But yes, that is why it's so hard to get organized is because we have too much stuff. Everybody has too much stuff. Even I have too much stuff. And I clean out regularly. This is my job. But I think there's a few things going on there. First of all, I think it's so easy to acquire stuff and it's cheaper than ever before. I mean, just think about the number of Amazon orders you have, especially now in a pandemic. Like that's the only way we get stuff, right, Is boxes coming in. And the rate at which you acquire objects is so much faster now than it was even 10, 20 years ago. So things pile up without you even noticing. So it's easy to get stuff. And also there's something that in psychology they call the endowment effect, which is where once you own something, you attach a lot more value to it than if that same thing was owned by someone else. You know, if you own this old mug that's cracked, you're going to say, oh, you're going to need to pay me 10 bucks to get rid of that. Whereas if you saw it At a garage sale, you'd be like, I'm not even paying two bucks for that.

Can we just pause right there? Because I think this endowment effect is so important. And even when you're thinking about dating, right. If you have been with someone, they automatically have more value to them, which makes it a little bit harder to actually separate from them. Right. Even if they're not necessarily serving you. Even if you haven't used that in so long. Right. That. It is, like, so hard to do that because of this effect. That's, like, an interesting concept. I love that.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. No, I see it all the time. And then there's also something that my clients bring up a lot, which is, well, I need to keep that just in case. You know, there's this idea where you don't want to be caught unprepared. You don't want to need to go rebuy something. That idea is very troubling to people because we don't like the idea of wasting money. And so whenever someone brings up, well, I need that just in case. I always like to drill down on that. Okay, what do you need that for? Let's talk through what those scenarios are and how likely they are to happen. And also, how difficult is it going to be to replace that thing if one of those very rare scenarios comes up? There's these guys called the minimalists who have a rule called the 20 under 20 rule, which is if you can replace it for less than $20 in less than 20 minutes, you don't need to keep it. Just in case.

Okay, well, girl, there's, like, half of my house right there. I don't know.

It's kind of amazing when you think about it. It's kind of.

Yeah. I'm like, literally this weekend gonna go through my house and have a whole situation.

Do it, do it all.

Last week, we had to, like, go and just completely transform our children's rooms because they had roughly three Christmases. My family gave them a Christmas. My partner's family kind of gave them another Christmas, and we obviously had our own Christmas. So we had this plethora of toys and clothes and all of these other things. And it was really interesting that my partner and I never really grew up with a lot of different things, and so we were still feeling a little bit uncomfortable about all of the things that were being acquired. Can you talk to me a little bit about what you see when you're working with your clients, especially those that maybe didn't grow up with a lot?

Yeah, absolutely. I Think that's an interesting sort of dichotomy, too, when we're talking about what stuff do you need versus what stuff is just causing problems for you. And if you have a background where you were sort of deprived at any point of material possessions, you very naturally are going to want to hang on to anything that you do have because you don't want to be stuck later. And so that's a hard one because that's based in a legitimate life experience that in no way should be minimized. But at the same time, you do have to sort of update your priors as your life develops and your circumstances change, and to realize that a method that may have served you in the past may not be serving you right now. And I do have all kinds of interesting conversations with clients where they're like, well, it didn't come from much. So I really need to keep things to feel secure. And I encourage people to try to find that security not through the material objects, but through the things in life that really bring them joy. I mean, ultimately, what I am dealing with, stuff is not the important thing. The important thing is the people who care about you. The important thing is having an impact in the world. The important thing is having beautiful experiences. Those are the important things. And so when we focus on those and then we just use the stuff to support those, then you can kind of get out of the scarcity mindset.

Yeah.

And I also do like to tell people, you know, there's something that often we don't realize which is the most luxurious spaces do not have very many objects in them. The objects in them are very lovely and very carefully placed. But those spaces are not stuffed full of stuff. A base that is crammed full of things does not feel in any way expensive or luxurious. And so we need to remove in order to upgrade.

It's like going to a Marshalls versus going to a theory store. Right?

Exactly. Like in the theory store, like, each pair of pants has its own, like, space.

Yeah. There's like, literally three pairs of pants right there, three sizes and, like, that's it. Right. So no, that totally makes a lot of sense. I know that a lot of my listeners are in that situation where they did not grow up with a lot. And so they do have this scarcity mindset. And it doesn't necessarily just look like, you know, all of these things in their homes. It's also about the things that they wear, but it also reflects in their love life as well. Right. Like, this whole notion of there aren't a lot of men out there. You know, the men that are out there are not high quality. There's a huge amount of focus on the lack of a potential love life. Right. This belief that either there aren't enough out there, or I'm not worthy enough to be out there and people will not see me. Can you talk a little bit about this sense of worthiness, right. As it relates to the home? Because the home is, especially now, as you were saying before, in this pandemic, it's even more important than ever. Right. I think that homeware sales were up 30, 40% this year because we have been spending more time in the home. And I feel like that is something that is going to be an important, important factor more than ever these days. So can you talk a little bit about this sense of worthiness as it relates to organizing?

Yeah, absolutely. Now, home is our whole world. I mean, I do not leave my house except to walk my dog.

Me either, girl. Me either.

This is my life in these four walls.

And I just want to stop you right there because the listeners cannot see her home. But it is immaculate and beautiful and everything is in place, and you have these amazing pillows and walls and everything. I just love everything.

I gotta walk the walk, right?

You know, I mean, I hope you do, girl.

But, yeah, in terms of worthiness, I think that sometimes there's this idea that it's frivolous to spend time making your home a place that you love, that it's not a good use of your time or that, you know, it's not something you deserve. Because what you need to be doing is being out there hustling and grinding and making stuff happen and that, you know, everything else is an afterthought. And I really like to flip that around. I think that an organized home that is a place you can retreat to and that can be a source of your energy rather than a drain on your energy, makes it possible for you to go out and do those other things. And I think that you deserve an organized home. That's something that I think people really struggle with. You deserve to have a space that is beautiful and comfortable and relaxing. And no matter what your budget is, you can make that happen, and you deserve it.

Yeah, I love that so much, and I think it's so important. The one thing that I want to say to that as it relates to dating and relationships specifically for women, is that it's important to really learn how to be at home with yourself and being comfortable. And it helps if you create a home that feels warm and Safe and comfortable. Because if you're able to feel that way, you'll be able to bring that to any sort of relationship that you're going to have. And ultimately, a man wants to feel at home with you, right? He wants to feel safe, he wants to feel good, he wants to feel comfortable. So I just think that this is such a great representation of how feeling and creating a warm and comfortable home can help you in your dating life as well. So, girl, we're all out here trying to live in the next day.

Pandemics coups all of this thing, girl. Oh, God. What tips do you have in terms of first steps? Like, people are listening to this podcast and they're like, I really want to bring some serious kind of organization into my home. What are the first steps that they can do just to get themselves started? Because it feels like it's hard to get started.

So it is hard to get started. And I would identify one small project that you can take on that you can get done, like, in a day or in a weekend that's going to make you feel like, oh, I can do this.

And.

And, ooh, this is actually really helping. So a really common one is to start with a junk drawer. If you have a linen closet or a cleaning supply closet, that's a good one to start with. Just pull everything out, sort it, figure out what you don't need anymore, and then put stuff back in. Put, like, with, like, so that when you go back in there, you can find it again. And notice that I did not at any point mention buying containers. You don't need to go buy stuff.

So no more Container Store.

Oh, my God. I tell everybody who will listen, I don't let my clients go to the Container Store without me because they'll go wild and crazy. No. And it's so overwhelming. There's so many options, and there's great stuff in there. I love the container, so do not get me wrong, but I don't like to let the uninitiated go in alone because you'll start focusing on the containers instead of on the organizing system that you can actually sort of create without even putting anything in bins or.

I love that. Thank you for that tip. Because I'm kind of a container person and you're calling me out in front of my face, which I love. I'd rather you do it in front of my face than behind my back. So that's good. No, that's really important. Thank you for that. Okay, so let's switch gears a little bit, because I want to talk about the home as a sanctuary for love and dating. And just like, a quick little story. I'm thinking about this because, oh, my God, when we were younger, let's say 10 years ago, one of the things that was really important when I was living in LA and I was dating like crazy was I had my bed in the corner, so where I can only exit out one way from the bed, just come completely closing off that part of the bed, which was like a representation of closing off that part of my romantic life, Right. And I was learning about feng shui and all of this stuff and, like, how to create a home that is more conducive to love and dating and relationships. And so I moved it in the middle to create that space for that person, whoever he was going to be. And literally a couple of days after that, I met this amazing Moroccan man that was hot as shit, and we had this love affair over the weekend. It was a huge, like, spark in my love life, and it had been dead before. And so I want to talk to you about how can we make our homes conducive to a partner, a person, love? What are your thoughts on that?

Yeah, I think that when you're thinking about your home, you want it to look like there's space for someone else. I mean, you're talking about physically moving the bed so that someone could get into it, which is definitely part of it. But in terms of organizing, like, is every shelf and every closet already full? If that's the case, then there's no space for anyone to come join your home. You know, even with my clients who aren't necessarily looking for love, they may be already partnered or they're happily single. I still say you got to leave yourself room to grow in terms of creating organizing systems. Because the fact is, even if you do a full overhaul and you really pare down and edit to only the things you really love, and you've got these great systems set up, even then, you're still going to buy more things. That is how life works. And then your interests may change and you may need different kinds of systems stuff. So if you leave yourself physical, actual room to grow in terms of your storage, then it can accommodate the way your life will change over time. And everybody's life will change over time. We're always growing and evolving. So whether that means bringing in a new partner, whether that means taking up a new hobby, whether that means switching careers, then your home will be able to be flexible and shift to accommodate that instead of sort of holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Yeah, I love that. One of the other things that I tell my clients, too, is have things that relate to having a person in your home. Right. So, like, if you have a dining room table, you shouldn't have just one plate, you should have two on your sofa, you should have two pillows. Right. Instead of just one. You want to act as if. Right. So that when it does come, you're ready for it and that you're welcoming. Right. Not saying, like, you have to get all of these new additional things, but as you are placed as your placeholder, as your homeostasis, as an expectation for love, that's also something that's really important. It's like a subconscious reminder that, yes, this is going to happen for me and, yes, it will come, and when it does come, I'm going to be prepared for it.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And when that person walks in your front door, they're going to go, I feel good here. I'm welcome. They don't know that you bought an extra plate or whatever, but they know that for some reason it's going to work out.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's interesting. I wanna talk to you about combining homes a little bit, because oftentimes I'll be working with my clients, and at some point they start to move in with their significant others. Right. They've been either with someone for six months or a year, and they're like, I wanna move. We're gonna move in together. And even recently, my sister just moved in with her husband. Talk to me a little bit about what are some of the things that my listeners should be thinking about when creating. Creating a cohabitating space.

Yeah. So this is one of those things that is a decision that's made out of love but needs to be executed very practically.

Yes. With some head. Not just all heart, some head.

Exactly, exactly. So no matter how excited you are about this person, the fact is that you both come from different families, different traditions, different expectations. And if you try and move in together without actually talking about any of that, that's when those weirdo fights about the sponge being in the wrong place happen. So it's really important to talk in advance about how you set up a home. Even weird stuff. Like some people only use the dishwasher for certain things and not others. And some people use a different towel every day, and some people use the same towel for a week. There's all kinds of these weird things. And that may sound like it's totally inconsequential, but it Actually affects how you organize the house. Like, do you need a stack of towels in your bathroom? Or can it be in the linen closet for the towel example? Or like, do you need a dish rack in your kitchen and a schedule for doing dishes to accommodate the fact that you have a different way of approaching that than your partner? So I think it's really important to talk about that kind of stuff and to drill down past. You cook, I clean, you do floors, I do dusting, like that kind of stuff. Because it's the stuff that you don't think about that becomes the sneaky stuff that goes back to those gender roles that end up falling on you as the woman. Yeah, it is so common. I cannot tell you. For a couple who are both very successful, both have careers, both very independent minded, both believe in equality, great, nice people. And three years after they move in together, the woman is like doing everything at home and doesn't know how it happened. And the man doesn't really even notice because that's sort of default for him. It was default for him growing up. So he doesn't really know that this sort of lack of equality has happened. So you do need to.

And then the resentment comes. Right, and then we become resentful, and.

Then you have a baby, and then we just jack everything up to 10, right?

Yes, exactly.

So it's important to start by talking about all those things and not letting yourself become the default as the woman. So, for example, when I was first living with my husband, you know, he'd always sort of defer to me on questions of home organization, and I would always push back, not like, how dare you explain? Expect that I blah, blah, blah, but more like, well, what would you do? What do you think? Are you gonna take care of that instead of just assuming or doing something for someone? There's this other thing which I don't know if you've seen in your work with women, but I've noticed it happened to me, it's happened to other people. I know where you get really wrapped up in the phase when you're engaged, you're moving in together, getting married, where you like, suddenly gender roles become kind of cute and like, for like a hot second.

Because it's like, yes, you're playing house. You're playing house.

And you'll like, wear the sweatshirt that says Mrs. Whatever on it and all this weird stuff. I mean, I got married in 2010, so that was real big in 2010. But it's weird. Suddenly these super retro roles become really attractive because you're so excited about this new phase. I think it's really important to not let that become your actual role. Enjoy the moment, enjoy coming together, enjoying the meaning of this step that you're taking together. But don't let those gender roles become cemented. I see that happen kind of a lot. And it almost happened to me. I was like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. What am I doing here?

Yeah. I love that you spoke about that. And there's. In terms of that conversation, I think it's as simple as even, like, making a mental note, room by room, how things happen for you and having those discussions. So, like, what are the things in the living room? What sort of even TV do you want? Does it need to be hung up? What sort of sofa gonna be most comfortable for you? Right. Going room by room and thinking about how you engage with things in that room so you can have those small conversations. So to your point, we're not arguing about how you folded the laundry or whatever it may be or.

Right, right, exactly.

Yeah, I think it's.

Yeah. And especially now when you're probably working from home, where are you both gonna work? Is somebody gonna actually spread out the kitchen table? And then is that gonna be a problem at mealtime? All this kind of. Kind of stuff, you gotta. You gotta talk about it.

Yeah. And, you know, that's what's so important about these milestones, these discussions that you have. I tell all of my clients that get an exclusive relationship. I don't care about the label. I care about the conversation that happens with the label. Right. So about understanding what those expectations are when you become in an exclusive partnership. Right. Similar to moving in with one another, what are those expectations? So that you do have a verbal contract about what's okay and what's not okay, what's in bounds and what's out of bounds. So that a year goes by and something happens. And you can come back to this contract and said, this is something that we agreed upon. This is something that we talked about. Let's correct and resolve.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

That's great. Okay, so I know that you talked about having some space to grow in your home. How can we stay organized while bringing new things into the home?

Yeah, absolutely. So it's gotta happen quickly because something new that comes in, you put it down on a table and you look around three days later, and suddenly there's a whole pile on top of it. And you're not really sure how that happened. So the day something comes in, I'm talking about even, like, you got, you know, the Delivery from instacart of your shampoo. You know, like take it, unpack it, put it in the place where those things live. Because if you do it immediately, it doesn't have a chance to pile up. My big organizing mantra that is tough for people at first, but really works is when in doubt, do it now. So if you take care of it right now, it does not have a chance to pile up and become clutter. And if there's something that comes in that's entirely new and it doesn't have a new category, then the do it now thing is. Okay, where am I going to put this? What else should I put this with? What's gonna work best for me? And that may necessitate moving other stuff around, especially if you've sort of limited space. But the time to do it is when you get the thing. Not I'll put this down and deal with it later.

Yeah, yeah. Because it can all pile up and become overwhelming. That's the same thing that I say to my clients when it comes to even like online dating, because I have a lot of clients that will batch and then they have like 20 messages and it feels overwhelming. Then they don't even want to engage. Right. So I generally tell my clients I don't want online dating thing to take over their lives. Dating is a small part of your life, right. Just like, you know, the home is something that you live in, but you don't want to take too much time, you don't want it overwhelming you. Right. So. But to your. I love this advice of do it now. Right. So I want to encourage everyone out there who is wishy washy about people messaging them like, do it now. Right. If there's something that you get in your home, as Lucy has told us, do it now. Get it, put it in the place that it needs to be put into. Yeah, good. Anything else that you want to let my listeners know as it pertains to organization?

Oh, gosh. You know, the thing that I like to tell people is that it doesn't matter what your home looks like now. It's not. That's not a reflection on you as a person. It's not a reflection of your worth. It's not even a reflection of your personality necessarily. Organizing is not a personality trait. It may be a personality trait to like a certain type of organization, but anyone can learn to be organized. It is not rocket science, I promise. You know, it's just a matter of learning very simple routines and executing them regularly. That's all it is. And if you need help, you know, there are professional organizers everywhere that can help you. So, you know, it's okay to ask for help, too.

I love that. And everything that she said about home organizing is the same thing about love and dating. Right. It has no reflection on who you are and what your inherent value is. And there are so many different people to help you out when it comes to that area in your life. You have me in terms of dating, but you also have Lucy in terms of home organizing.

Exactly.

You've got tons of people to help. Okay, girl, I asked this to all of my guests. How did you get your guy?

Oh, my goodness. So I met my husband when I was 23 years old, which was not the plan. I was never the type who thought that she was going to get married young and anything like that.

Yeah. And that's so surprising, Lucy, because, you know, we've known each other forever, and I was like, she's gonna get her graduate degree, and then she's gonna, like, make it happen sometime.

Yeah, yeah. No, no. I mean, it was the kind of thing that they say all the time when you're not looking. That's what happens. So you remember my M.O. from when I was younger, which would be to pine over the same boy for months, nay, years at a time.

We are not going to go there, girl. We are not going to go there.

But my husband said, snuck up on me, like, the first day I ever met him. I only remember it because I felt so wretched, like, I was sick. I was wearing no makeup, hair in a bun, giant old college sweatshirt, the jeans that made my butt look the worst. Like, just, like, I looked like a mess. And the reason I looked like a mess was because the temp job I was working at the time, we had to come in on a weekend and do this whole, like, setup thing. And my husband was also on that team team as a student worker. And so he sort of saw me at this thing where I was just like, I'm so sick, and I just have to get this done. And he apparently saw me at my worst and said, I want to get to know that girl. So.

Yeah, we've been together ever since, pretty much. I mean, I didn't see it coming, but he just fit into my life so well. It was sort of like, oh, there you are. Of course, it was that kind of vibe.

And when did you know that it was very serious?

We probably knew we would end up getting married within the first six months. It wasn't overly serious in terms of, like, we're gonna get married now. But it was like, oh, yeah, this is a thing. We're doing this.

And when did you know?

Probably after one or two months. Honestly. Not that relationships are easy breezy, but it was comfortable. It was easy. And the most important thing, I was thinking about this, actually. I was myself. I was not putting on any kind of whatever to make him like me. I mean, that ship sailed the first day that he ever saw me. So, you know, I was just real and he was real. And so we actually were very open and honest with each other from the beginning. And it worked.

Yeah. I love that. I know that you were saying, can you kind of share that story of you going to business school and him kind of following along? Because I think that people feel like, especially women feel like they have to kind of sacrifice their trajectory and their acceleration because of a relationship, and I don't feel like that needs to be the case. So talk a little bit about what that looked like for you.

Absolutely. So I think this sort of nice thing was because I was so young, I wasn't in a hurry, and so there were calculations that I didn't have to make. You know, it wasn't like I had to be on a timeline to make stuff happen. So that was sort of a thing that I didn't have to deal with. However. So we started dating. I was 23. And when I was 26, I applied to business school. And the whole way that we dating and everything was going well, we did not live together. I was very, like, clear about that. I was very.

Why were you. Why didn't you want to live with him as someone who loves her home? Yeah. Talk to me about that.

Yeah. I didn't want to move in together until we were engaged because I didn't want to be one of those couples where it just drags on for a really long time.

Yeah.

Not that I was afraid that he was gonna take advantage of me or anything, but I was just, this is a big deal. I always wanted to get married. That was the goal. And so I was like, this is a big deal, and I wanna make sure that we're progressing accordingly, so. And also looking back, I am so glad I lived alone for those five years of my 20s. I wasn't single, but I could still figure things out on my own. So that when we did move in together, I was very independent and I knew what I wanted out of a home. But, yeah, so, you know, the whole time along, I'd been like, okay, I'm really bored with my job. What am I gonna do next? I think I'm gonna go to grad school. And he and I applied to all these schools all over the country, and the best one I got into was ucla. And he said, great, I'm moving to LA with you. Not with me, to live with me. We didn't even live together. Then he moved to LA and worked remotely for two years while I was in business school. And this was in 2008-2010. So working remotely was not as.

Not even a thing, really.

He believed in me getting the mba, and he was so confident in us that he knew it was gonna be worth it. And then the funny part is we got there, started school, and he came to all the stuff that spouses and partners could come to, and he met all my classmates, and business school is only about 30, 35% women. And he sort of looked around and went, hmm. And he proposed two months later.

I love it. Yes. I love that. That's so great. But I just think it's such a testament to following your path. Right. And if he is for you, it will work out. Right? It will definitely work out even faster than you even imagine.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and, you know, we've sort of gone back and forth on, you know, who takes the lead. And so when I graduated, I actually didn't recruit right out of business school, which is part of what led to this whole journey, because we knew my husband was getting sent to London for a few months right after I graduated, and I was like, I can't get a job, and then be like, bye, I'm going to London.

Right.

So that was a time when I took a step back and he stepped forward. And then recently, even we've been having discussions, because part of building my brand is trying to make myself known. Right. And being a face that people recognize. And he's very uncomfortable with publicity. And so we've been having discussions about, like, what does it look like if my business really takes off and people might start to know who I am? Not that necessarily will happen, but just what would happen and what boundaries do we need to put in place in order for him to be comfortable and feel like his privacy is respected? So it's an ongoing discussion.

Yeah. And I love that you mentioned about sometimes the focus is on one partner, sometimes the focus is on the other. Because I felt like it's the exact same way in my partnership. And I'm pretty sure there's so many people out there that feel the exact same way. And I truly believe that that is part of a successful relationship like there does need to be focused on one partner some of the time. Right. Knowing that your time will also come.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And making sure you advocate for yourself when that time comes.

Exactly. Yes. That part. That part for sure. Lucy, thank you so much for being on this episode with me. I have so appreciated and enjoyed spending time with you and learning so much.

Oh, thank you, Anwar. This has been so much fun and I love how there are so many parallels with dating and home organization. You wouldn't think. And yet there are.

I know, I know. For all of my listeners that are absolutely need to get their home organization together and want to connect with you, how can they reach you so you.

Can follow me on social media? That's sort of the quickest way to see what's going on. My Instagram gets updated the most. It's Mwedits and I'm also on Pinterest and Facebook and YouTube and the whole thing. So you can actually see me giving you a tour of my closet on YouTube.

Oh, I love that.

And you can email me lucymwedits.com and my website has all kinds of fun stuff on it, including a ton of free stuff. So check that out.

Lmwedits.com and we will have all of her contact information in the show notes. Please reach out to Lucy. She is amazing at what she does and I'm pretty sure that not only will your home feel organized, but I think ultimately after working with her, you will as well in all aspects of your life. All right, have a good one. Talk to you soon.

You too.

Bye.

Hey girl. Thank you so much for listening to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, talk.