Dating coach Anwar White argues red flags aren't universal. What matters is how a behavior makes you feel and what you actually need from a partner. He uses a client example: a busy doctor who preferred fewer daytime messages, something others might flag as distant.
Someone said three absolute no's or red flags for dating. Well, I don't really believe in red flags, and I'll tell you why.
Everyone's gonna have different things that are not gonna fly for them, right? And I'm never gonna be someone to be like, if it's this.
Don'T do it. I do that sometimes, but it's very broad. What I've learned in doing this work for 15 years is that because of everyone's lived experience, everyone's going to have things that affect them differently. And when people talk about red flags, they're focused on what the other person is doing. And the way that I coach as a dating coach is I want you, especially if you are a black or brown woman, to be focused on.
How things make you feel.
So checking in with yourself.
And figuring out what that feeling is and then moving accordingly. Because here's the thing.
I literally just got off the phone with a doctor, and she was saying, yeah, I really don't really want a lot of messages during the daytime because I'm busy.
But for someone who needs that, that would be a red flag for them, right? So.
That'S something that we do in my program. We. We. We get really clear on what your deeper relationship needs are based on your lived experience, and then we start evaluating men based on those things.
Not based on these broad stroke, you know.
Idealized things that are going on or that people say on the Internet.
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
