Anwar White, a dating coach for Black and brown women with 13 years' experience, discusses why many women dismiss coffee dates and reframes that resistance as stemming from money-wound dynamics and learned expectations about displays of financial affection. He argues coffee dates require similar effort as restaurant dates, that some women equate money with love due to upbringing, and that wealthy men often start with low-key dates while assessing ROI. The video closes with a call-to-action to book coaching and an endorsement of the creator Sprinkle Sprinkle.
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He got me at the Cheesecake Factory, y'. All. I ain't getting out this far. Hey, girl. So this is where Sprinkle Sprinkle goes wrong in dating. And I just want to let the nice people know at the Cheesecake Factory that I love their chicken Alfredo and I love their strawberry lemonade. So I don't know what this girl's talking about, but here's what I want you all to know. I'm a dating coach. I've been a dating coach for black and brown women for the past 13 years. My name is Anwar White. And so many women actually date like this. Like, they have a level of entitlement of how people are supposed to take them out on a date. Now here's the thing. Y' all get to date however you want to date, but there are deeper things happening here. I'm a huge fan of coffee dates. And coffee dates are really important for a number of reasons. But I want to go into the deeper reasons why especially black women, black and brown women might have this opinion or thought about what dates are. Okay. Or if they're shitting on coffee dates. Okay. Couple of things. I always hear this is low effort. Do you understand that the same level of effort that it takes to take you to coffee is the same level of effort that it takes to take you to a nice restaurant and eat.
Two. This is based on money wounds that many black women have based on how they were raised. So, so many of us were raised in households where our parents worked most of the time. And so when they came back, they would try to compensate with the lack of quality time with gifts and money and things like that. That's why birthdays and Christmases were so over the top and we equated money with love. So that is probably what many of us are doing here when we're dating. If they don't spend money on me, they don't love me. And that couldn't be further from the truth. Number three, many of you all are actually evaluating these coffee dates and not wanting to go on them because so many broke guys, specifically black men, will take you on cheap dates because they don't have money. And it was a way for you to filter out whether a guy was financially stable or not. The gag of this is that most rich or wealthy guys will actually take you on a low key date at the very beginning because they're not going to invest in something that doesn't have a positive ROI and that doesn't appreciate literally and figuratively. Right? And so that's what they are looking for when they are going on dates. And most wealthy guys will take you on a chill date at the very beginning. That's why like, just like most wealthy guys drive a Ford, Honda or Toyota, I think 60% of millionaires do. Again, they're focused on appreciating assets, not depreciating ones.
There are deeper levels of wounds here, whether it's inner wounds, whether it's money wounds. That's the work that we get to do while we're dating and that's what I do as a dating coach. And if you want to learn how to work through this, definitely book a call with me. But I just want to end this video by saying I'm a fan of Sprinkle Sprinkle. I think Sprinkle Sprinkle is great. I think Sarah 7 and I align probably 80% of the things.
Too much Sprinkle Sprinkle makes the food salty and nobody wants salty food. So it's something that I want you to think about as you continue to navigate your dating journey. I hope this helps.
