Self Leadership w/ Christy Rutherford

Hello, my love. And thank you so much for joining me on the get yout Guy coaching podcast. We have a special guest with us today, Christy Rutherford, and she is a women's leadership executive, not a coach. She's going to explain everything that she does and all of her genius. And so, without further ado, Kristy, thank you so much for being here today.

I'm excited to be here. Anwar, thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to share this information with your guests.

Yes. And I know that you're not feeling 100%, so I do appreciate you being here and just kind of rocking it out. So tell the people, girl. Like, what do you do exactly? How do you help women obviously, level up and maximize their potential?

One of the things that I really do is I just get women to remember who they are. Life whoops.

Everybody.

I think that everybody's gonna get the headlock. And there's something between the ages of 37 to 45 where we're all going to experience something. So life will give you a reason to just lay down and stay there. And so I assist women with getting clear on who they are in this moment. And so a woman who doesn't remember how great she is is going to make less money. She's not going to have the confidence, she's going to have the imposter syndrome. She doesn't have the executive presence that she thinks she needs to get to the next level. And so I help women close the gap in their minds of how great they are. And the byproduct of that is raises, bonuses, and promotions. So we're at $14 million in raises for women in a pandemic.

I love that. Congratulations on your results. What is it about the ages of 37 and 45 because you still specifically narrowed in on that, like, phase of a woman's life. What is it about that time that is just like a rocker?

I think that women who high achieving women, because I like to work with high achieving women in leadership. Right. There is a reason why we work nonstop. There's a reason why we're workaholics. We're running from something. We're running from childhood trauma. We're proving people wrong long before we actually entered the workforce. So the battle, a lot of women think that the battle starts when they get that one wrong boss. No, the battle started 20, 30 years before that. The boss just became the culmination of the pain and he became the one thing that was too much. Right. So there's only so far that we can run there's only so long that we can do 120 miles an hour. If you drive a car for 120 miles an hour for 10 years, it's going to blow up. Or even with the expectation it's going to blow up in the first two, three months, yet we do our bodies like that over a 10, 15, 20 year career, at some point it's going to shut down.

Yeah. And do you feel like it generally shuts down in that 37 to 45 year old mark or.

Yeah, it does. Either we run out of gas or there is an awakening at some point, whether women change through inspiration or change through desperation. And it's at that point sometimes our close friends die.

Right.

So you run into a wall, or you have a mental health breakdown like I did, or you have a physical health breakdown or something happens to you so catastrophic that it gives you pause to say, you know what, I should be living a different life right now. And the women who choose not to live are the ones who suffer greater than the women who just say, I don't know what to do.

You were talking a little bit about that. You were in the same situation. I wanted to get a sense of like how you got into this work. And it sounds like maybe it came from your own journey a bit.

Yeah, I resigned from my career. I was 37. I was crazy.

What is that? What does that mean? What does that look like, girl?

My sixteen and a half year career with three and a half years left to retire with a full pension like Tina Turner ran from Ike in that white suit. I had to run for my life. Right. Or I would have died within the year. So I was sick all the time. I had flu like symptoms every two weeks. So I was sick every three to four days for two weeks. I was in the emergency room at least once a month. My tonsils was acting up. I had stress induced arthritis. I normalized back pain because Excedrin says that you should have back pain. I normalized being disrespected in my organization. I normalized going to work, ready to fight somebody. I normalized expecting to be disrespected. I finally earned my seat at the table and now I didn't know that I had to defend that seat every single day. And another thing that I didn't know that was going to happen with regards to getting my seat at the table was people stopped listening to me. Suffering became normal. A routine of meeting at happy hour weekly. And so when I got to the point where this is stupid, like why are we Living like this. Why have we normalized suffering? Why have we normalized being disrespected? Why have we normalized being sick? I don't want to live this way anymore. And when I started telling people I'm in trouble because now I'm aware in war that I'm on fire. A lot of women are on fire, and they don't know they're on fire. But by the time we become aware that we're on fire, we're almost done.

Burn to a crisp. Yeah.

And right when I started telling people I'm on fire, people just heard the brand say she's on fire. They never heard the suffering soul. So who could Kate Spade really confide in that she's having problems? Who can the young lady, the Miss usa, Right. Who ran and jumped off of a building in New York. Who could the beautiful, talented lawyer, Miss USA pageant queen tell that she was in trouble? So whenever we start telling people we're in trouble, look, first of all, by the time we realize we in Trouble, we're about 90% dead.

Yeah.

Before we realize it, by the time we verbalize it to somebody, we're 95% in the ground.

Cristy, why do you think that is? Why do we wait so long?

Girl, people who've been through stuff have high pain tolerances. So we've survived stuff. Like I said in the beginning, we're running from something. We're running from something, and we running from somebody. So by the time we feel the pain, it's. We're already at third degree burns. Because we're operating. Operating in pain. We're operating in normalized pain at all times.

Yep. That's right. That makes a lot of sense. And when you say that, it makes me think that this is even more of an issue for women of color. Right. As we think about how we grow up and the things that we need to endure as a woman, as a woman of color, as a black woman specifically, there are experiences that maybe contribute to that high pain tolerance that we're so used to.

Yeah. And we think that we have to endure. We think that we have to carry the world on our shoulders. We think that is our responsibility to make sure all the battles in the world are being fought. So we're the dragon slayers and we're the super women. And we rarely take time to take care of ourselves. But here's the thing, Anwar. Yeah. Black women, we catch it. Women of color, we catch it. White women. This is crazy. I have white clients, too. They have the challenges because they're supposed to be the picture of perfection, right? Like, Karen ain't supposed to be going through nothing. So Karen is over there suffering, too, and she can't tell anybody. So women in general, and it's not all women. I only talk to a very small subsection of women, but women who consider themselves super women who refuse to take care of themselves, right? Who refuse to stop long enough and get their mental health in order, but will be concerned about every person on their team. They'll be concerned with every person in their family, but they will not stop and give themselves permission to take care of themselves. And it spills over into every area of their life.

Totally. How I see this and how it shows up in dating is generally we look at the inner childhood wound and we realize that some of these needs were not fulfilled and. Or actually neglected. And so there is no one that women or these individuals can rely on to help them. So they don't ask for help. They don't say that they're suffering because they have already created this mental model in their head that no one's going to be able to hold me down. So I have to do it myself. And if I have so much on my plate, I'm going to focus on the things that are going to keep me alive, keep me a roof over my head and a bed for me to lay on. So it's my job and it's the people around me, because that's how I gain value. And also what I've learned is that it's also a little bit of an ego boost to be able to say that I'm taking care of all of these different people. So it's where I actually derive some of my confidence. Not just my skills, but my ability to take care of the people that I love. Have you been seeing that in some of your clients as well?

Yeah. I mean, one, I did it, so I'm the person who I needed before I left my career. Right. Like, we not only do it, we relish in it, and we wear it as a badge of honor. We wear suffering as a badge of honor. We wear who suffers the most as a badge of honor. Which is.

Can we just align right now that a badge of honor? That is not. That is not something that we are going to give other people props about. Everybody is talking about how busy they are and how much they have to do. Everybody has that. But I know that when my clients come to me and say, I got so much to do, I'm not there to give them life about that I am actually there to say, well, girl, let's ask for help, and let's delegate and make sure that we're taking it off your plate. So how do you help your clients to be able to get out of that mindset around having so much on their back and on their shoulders?

I think the first part is acknowledging that they can be different. A lot of women don't realize that they can be different.

Right.

Like, I wrote a post today. I'm like, some of y' all are so stuck in the mud that you don't even know that you can change. They don't even believe that they can change because we make big promises over here, and it's not about the money, but we want our money, too. It's about, can you one believe that your life can be different? That's the first. Yes.

Yeah.

And that's the hardest yes. Because some women have been stuck in suffering and misery for so long that if I come over here and I'm selling Popsicles, they're like, I don't know. I'm in hell. The Popsicle's got a melt boy, and it's not going to cool me up. And then the second part is becoming aware of what is the truth. Because once a woman acknowledges where she really is, she will change. But the hardest part is, are you on fire? Yes. Okay, let's talk about where you are. And now these are the steps to be able to get you out of the fire. They'll grab at it so fast. They'll be like, oh, God, somebody let me out. So it's really getting clear on where you are, where you want to be, and then giving them actionable tools to actually lift them out and not just allow them to just sit around and talk about where they are. You really got to take action to get to it. And we got to go back to dig up where did you leave you? Your biggest trigger that you have right now? You see it in relationships. Like, the thing that pisses them off in a relationship is something that one of their parents said to them is not about the person that's standing in front of them. Right.

Never about the guy. That's right.

Where did you create this superwoman syndrome? Right. What are you running from? Because none of that stuff in this point, it matters. It's actually starting to work against you.

Yeah. I'm so glad that mentioned action, because I think so many people are waiting for themselves to feel good before they can actually create change. And one of the ways that I think about this and you Know, I think we just do similar things, just in different realms, but the work is very similar. Is that. No. This week I'm telling you that you have to ask for help from three different individuals so that you can have proof of possibility that to your point, it can be different. Right. And you have to have that action so that you can actually change your thought process. And from changing your thought process, you can actually feel a different way about this. Do you think in the same way?

Oh, yeah. I mean, we teach women how to say no, which is crazy, right? Like, you actually need a course on how to say no, because if you're accustomed to being used and abused by everybody in your family, and you're the person that's dependable, you're the one that's going to do it. You're the one that's going to be there, and it's going to be right. So now you're being held hostage to things that you no longer want to do. And once they say no, it's like we have to observe, did you die? And then did they die? So, you know, there are certain things of how do we. Is not necessarily anwar about learning some new technique is how can you just do what you need to do and not create? You know, when I think about all these people who create these tools and they create these fruity words, they create these models, it's like, man, just say no. It's not that hard. Right? Just stop and acknowledge that you're on fire. And now you know what you need to do. Go work out, meditate. That stuff is free. But I think it's also the accountability of they can't, you know, working with somebody that's probably just as rough as I am when they're talking about you is now you have the accountability and somebody that's holding you accountable. So you better keep your commitment to yourself. Like most women are fully committed to everybody and give nothing to themselves. And now we're requiring that they actually turn around and give themselves something so they can get the result that they really want.

Yeah, definitely. So talk to me about some of the actions that maybe you help your clients do to be able to get to a place where they can have that awareness and be able to make some of those changes or actions that you were talking about.

Yeah, several things. One workout, three times a week at least. Right. And the simple act of stopping long enough to take care of yourself, which people who work out all the time, like women, know they need to work out. But if you are giving everything to Everybody. You don't have time to work out. Like, I didn't think I had time to work out in my job because they needed me. Everybody needed me. I needed to be at work in the, you know, 6:30 in the morning. I got off at 10:00 o' clock at night and I was busy all day. It was insane, right? Friday night, 11 o', clock, I'm at work because they need me. Everybody needs me. No, they don't. I needed to get a life. So workout girl.

But let's talk about why do we need to work out?

Yeah, working out not only relieves the pressure and stress, it makes you feel good about yourself. It helps your clothes fit better so you can have more confidence. But I think it's the clarity of mind that working out gives you. It gives you that ability to be able to structure your day mentally first so everything doesn't fall through the cracks, right? And so I work out all the time, but since I've been sick, I haven't been able to work out and I cannot get my ish together, you know, like, mentally, I can't get my clarity in order and the things that I need to do, done because I'm missing that workout. I tried to work out yesterday, you know, I almost folded. I said, okay, okay, okay.

This is such a great point that you talk about here because I think when people think about working out, they're just thinking about their body and they're not thinking about their mind and how much, how important it is that how working out can really help with the clarity that when you have so many different thoughts and ideas going on in your head and you can feel overwhelmed, that it's actually an opportunity for you to just like level, set and center yourself from a mental and intellectual perspective.

It's all mental. It's. I mean, the. I can be so much more productive. I can be so much more. The framework. Because you, I mean, you know, entrepreneurs, we have to have frameworks on our day. Like, I can have the framework set up and I can execute. I've been all over the place, place. So it's all mental. And the physical part is, yeah, that's the byproduct of it, of looking great in your clothes. But the mental part and having the mental clarity and being able to solve problems, I mean, if you're going, if you have all these problems is you're not capable mentally of being able to solve the problems because you're not taking care of yourself and not taking care of your health. So the more problems you have the less you're taking care of yourself, because if you actually took the time to take care of yourself, you'll be able to solve a lot of the things that are going on.

Yeah, I love that. Okay, before I interrupted, you also said meditation, so let's talk about that girl. What about meditation, girl? Because, you know, when people hear that word, they're like, oh, not this again.

I used to think about when I was on my way out, right, Melting. And I went to a yoga studio, because this is. You sisters want to go do yoga and meditate when the wheels are about to fall off or when the wheels have fallen off. And we don't get it. You know, they light all these incense, they're sitting in the room, they breathing hard. I don't get it. I don't understand. I know I need help. I need a release button. You can meditate in your car. You can meditate in the clock closet. It's five minutes. You don't have to be on the beach. You don't have to have gongs. You don't have to say anything. One woman said, meditation is against my religion. I said, sitting with yourself alone is against your religion. Like, so some people have demonized meditation, which is insane. But. And if you don't know and you can't sit in your thoughts for five minutes in silence, there's guided meditation on YouTube where they say, come into your body, feel your fingers and toes, follow your breath. You're not breaking any of God's promises and principles by following your breath. So you can actually, again, get the framework and be more productive. Five minutes of meditation three times a week will absolutely change your life. And so if I have to pick one right? Whenever my clients. Because we have a stack of habits that need to. New habits that need to be created whenever. And this is men and women, when I used to coach men. But if they could meditate three times a week for five minutes, everything else they could, then they could work out, then they could say no, then they can do all these other kind of things. So meditation was that foundational habit that if they created that, then they were more likely to stick with the other habits.

Got it. So that's the first step. You're saying that maybe we need to really establish that first and then establish some of the other habits. We talked about meditation. We talked about working out. What are some of these other habits that you got? What regimen you got us on, girl? Because I'm about. I'm saluting you already. What else do I need to Do? Yeah. What else do I need to do? Captain, Tell us.

It's that those two, then it's eating healthy. Right. Like, and I know all these things sound like cliche, but stressed out people don't crave banana bananas. You know, when I was stressed out, there was a chick fil a across the street from my job. Yeah. I was over there talking about, let me get that number one, though. Let me get the number one. Let me give that number one with a sweet tea. So, you know, eating healthy, Right? And the thing about eating healthy is this. I heard a guy talk about it and I was like, I don't know what you talking about. This is like 2013. He talked about low vibration foods. Like whenever you eat food that make you feel great, you're more likely to stay in a better mood. And when you're triggered right. How do you lessen your triggers? When I used to eat fried chicken from Frenchies, which is the best fried chicken in Texas in Houston.

Okay, well, let people reach out to us and let us know what the best chicken is. We want to fight you. You know, everybody has an opinion about chicken, but please continue.

I know, but I used to be like, they crushed up Naitol and put it in here. So it wasn't a point of how am I going to go to sleep? Or if I'm going to go to sleep is how am I going to go to sleep and not get caught. Right. So eating good foods. But then the. I would say two bigger things is stop working at five o' clock one day a week. And here's the thing about working from home. There are no boundaries now. Women are working 20 hours a day is insane.

Right.

Work your one work day in the framework. And then the last two things. Don't eat at your desk twice a week. Ice eat. Ice eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at my desk every day. Use the one day for yourself to go be by yourself and then the second day to build networks and build relationships with decision makers in the office because that's how you're going to be promoted.

So in a home environment, that might look like maybe going outside to be with yourself instead of being in the home and then maybe having a zoom call with with someone else in the organization to really kind of connect with them and connect with them.

Coffee? Our virtual lunch. Yeah, you want to build relationships. Like we're the, you know, men are out playing basketball, men are out playing golf, and we're sitting at work working thinking that that's going to get us to the next level. And then we wonder why the unqualified men keep getting promoted over. It's just because they have the relationship and we have the work. At a certain level. It's about the relationship. Relationship first, work second. That's a mental shift that women need to have in their minds. Like, I don't like you during the workday. I'm sure they're not gonna hang out with you at lunch. Well, don't be complaining that, you know, Jeff and Tim keep getting promoted or these men keep getting promoted. Oh, you. Is because they have the relationship, but you have the work. And then they're going to be your boss and you're going to continue to do the work and they're going to continue to build a relationship.

So that's right. I love that you said this because, you know, when I'm working with my clients, 50% or more get promotions when they're working with me because they're actually connecting with other people in a different way versus how they were doing it before. They were thinking, if I'm the good girl, then people will like me and then I will get promoted and then I will get in a relationship when no, girl, you've gotta make it happen too. You've got to create these not just relationships, but actual connections, right? So that, to your point, that guy is getting promoted, it's because he's top of mind. Because they have that relationship versus as you, which may not be because they're thinking about your work and not you. That's such a great distinction, and I love that you were able to kind of share that with the audience. So let's talk about those sorts of conversations, right? The networking conversations. Because I think that's obviously really important in terms of creating relationship connection and promotions. So in these sorts of interviews or coffee chat, what do you recommend that we should be talking about or what sort of conversations should we have?

You know, I like something that you just talked about because I know that the part of the work that you do is you get women connected with themselves, right?

Always that.

And once a woman likes herself, other people will like her. People see who you see. So if you don't like yourself, people don't like you. If you think you're a fraud, people are going to think you're a fraud. There's a scripture, Numbers 13:33, that says we were like grasshoppers in our own sight first, and so we were to them. And so once a woman gets in tune with herself and actually loves and likes and appreciates herself, she's going to find that other people will love, like.

And appreciate her hundred percent.

That's where the work starts. And I think a part of it is if women are going into these conversations not liking themselves, the mental battle, or wondering what the person is thinking about them or wondering what. You can't be genuinely interested in somebody if you're having this mental battle in your head of whether or not you're good enough. So the self work, the work with self has to be done first. But once we get past that and you like yourself, this is have a conversation. It's like, I know that successful people love, love to talk about themselves, right? I love talking about myself. What are some of the things that you did to that got you to where you are right now? What are some of the challenges that you overcame in your childhood? What are some of the challenges that you overcame on the way to where you are? Because a lot of people had this misnomer that the red carpet was rolled out for. Certain people that don't look like them, they struggle too. Like some of my best friends, the coast guard was 90. I don't know what their number are. 95% white men is what it seemed like. Some of my friends are white men. They've gone through some stuff too. They've gone through some challenges too. They survived some things too. So it's. What's one of the greatest challenges that you overcame? What advice do you have for me as I want to move further up in this organization? What's the best thing that one of your mentors taught you? Because they got mentors. What are your thoughts on sponsorship? Some women don't know the difference between a mentor, a coach, and a sponsor. Sponsor. And you need all three.

Girl, tell us, what are. What's the difference?

So a mentor is a person who's been where you want to go, and they can teach you the way they've gone on the yellow brick road. So you want a mentor that's two levels above you. Not a lot of times people spend all their time trading information with the person as lateral to them. Well, how can a person who hasn't done what you want or been where you want to be teach you how to get there? They read about it, but that's not really the way that you want to get there. So a mentor has been there, done that. So that's what a mentor is. A sponsor is somebody who has power and they will use their power for you to open the doors for you. So a sponsor can be a senior leader in an Organization. A sponsor can be a lateral person. A sponsor is someone who has the ear of the decision maker or is the decision maker on having the opportunity to put your name in the hat.

When it comes to promotions and advocate for you.

And this is the thing about sponsors, sponsors, whenever it comes to them, putting their name on the line, because this is about your credibility, they got to know you, not your work. They have to know you, which is why, again, if the men have played golf, if the men are playing a basketball, the men are out at the happy hours. They're at the, you know, they're drinking the scotch and smoking the cigars. They know them, they know their families, they'll know their kids. So they can vouch for them. They can surround them with worker bees. Anwar. To get the work done. But if they're gonna go out on a limb and recommend somebody, they're going to use the name of somebody that they know personally, not just their work.

I'm so glad that you're talking about this because just like in dating, I think it's really important for women to be vulnerable, right? To share parts of themselves that they wouldn't naturally share because they're not used to it based on some of the inner trauma and experiences that they've had. But this is how we create connection. And if you are going to be connecting with a man, you actually have to initiate that vulnerability before he can, because he's not going to. And so one of the things that I want the listeners to be thinking about is how can I share that vulnerability first so that I can inspire and engender a level of trust and confidence in the relationship, to be able to have him actually show up and share a part of him? Because you could be sharing all. So 60% of conversations are very factual and circumstantial. Right. And I think a lot of women think that they're being vulnerable when they are sharing all of these things that have happened to them. But there's another part of vulnerability which is about your interpretation, your thoughts, your opinions about things. That's another 30%. The other 10% is also around how you felt about certain things. And that's the thing that oftentimes gets really ignored. And I want to share that. That's a really important part of being able to connect. And I know, and you've probably heard it a lot, well, I don't want to be doing all that because then that means that my credibility is going to be shot or my reputation. They're not going to take me as Serious or anything like that. What do you have to say about.

But here's the thing. Women don't want to play politics. It is just relationship building. And really it's.

But here's the thing. Here's the thing before you go there, what I hear a lot is I haven't been taught how to do that. I don't know how to do it, so I avoid it. Have you heard. Been hearing that too?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

But. But the thing about it am worse is. And it gets down to what we've said like a million times, a woman who is uncomfortable with herself makes other people uncomfortable with her. Yeah. It all starts with the woman. You are so uncomfortable with yourself, thinking that they gonna see you crazy that you make them uncomfortable with you. Strong women have become demonized, ostracized, criticized for our power, that we try to hold the power in. And then it starts to offset and it starts to almost like pressure cooker with the top that's starting to kind of like pop around. Around is because you're trying to hide and minimize and distort your power to a point where it's inauthentic. Now you're offsetting the energy of everyone in the room because you're trying to hold your power in. So I always say that once you become comfortable with your power, people will become comfortable with your power.

Yeah.

So once you become comfortable with yourself, you'll be comfortable with having genuine conversations with other people, including. Including relationships, including your spouse, including your children, including the people at work.

One of the things that I tell people is when they're going out on dates, because women generally have been conditioned and programmed to perform for men. Right. And so that's pretty in the boardroom as well. Right. But I always tell them, I want you to be thinking either your best friend is sitting right there at the date with you, or that person that you're talking to is your best friend. Right. Because. Or I want you to be calling your best friend before you have a phone date because I want you to be in the moat. Because, you know, we're different when our people are with us. Right. Right. And I guess in the professional world that would be like your work husband or work wife or whatever, whoever that is, your work best. We gotta show up as our full selves and especially people of color. We're very good at splitting ourselves. Right. We're one way at work, we're one way with our family, we're one way with friends. We're one way in our love lives. And part of this work is really bringing all of that. And so if there's anything to be said about, especially these networking meetings that we're talking about, it is, I think, pretend like this person is one of your work besties and be able to share in that way, obviously with a level of respect and things like that. But what are your thoughts about that? Is there a certain other sorts of mindsets that can help women in this part of their professional life?

They're. The people that you're talking to are going through some stuff too. They're suffering too. They have moms that are. That have Alzheimer's too. They have kids that have autism too. Like they're no different. Different than you. Like the people that you're talking to are suffering just as much as you. Their suffering is going to be different, but they're suffering just the same. So can we have two humans come and have a conversation? And a lot of times, woman who is at peace, which is very, very rare, a woman who is at peace can be able to give peace to other people. Nobody wants to be around an unstable and an angry woman. They would lock the door and which is what they're doing.

I love that. So we talked about the mentor, we talked about the content coach. Let's talk about the coach. What does the coach do? What do we do? We're coaches.

The coach is the term that's been abused. And so you got to get the right coach. But for me, a coach is a person who's on team you. You have organizations who provide their employees with executive coaching. But that's for the betterment of the work self, not the self. Self.

Yeah.

That's the end goal is for you to be better for the organization where my end goal is for you to be better for your family. You be better for yourself first. Your family. And then the job is going to do what the job is going to do. We're going to get that money though, right? So a coach is on team you. A coach is a person who's going to hold you accountable to where you say you want to be, but you don't know how you're going to get there and then even push you further. I was talking to my clients last night and I was like, you're happy now. And they really like me, but it's okay. There is a different level of joy that is available to you that you haven't accessed yet. I know that you're happy now and you're happier than you used to be because a couple of them be like, you know, I used to be an angry black woman. Yes, I get it. But I want you to now dip into this unicorn riding pocket of energy because it's available and it's accessible. I want you to know that is there so you can go and get it. Coach is a person who's going to push you harder for yourself and to get the results that you want for yourself and let all the other kind of stuff fall into place behind that.

100% we are about making you uncomfortable so you can can grow more than anything else. But what I think is really interesting is that it is the hardest for these high achieving women to actually get the help of a coach. They'll get the mentor, they'll do their best to get the sponsor. Many times it's failing. They don't know how to do that in a way that makes sense and it's hard for them to get the coach. Why do you think that is? And what would you say to those individuals that have some trepidation around getting a coach?

It's okay to get help. You don't have to be everybody's superhero. Put the cape down, sis. Right. Like we are accustomed to being the super women for everybody else and the cape and choked us out. I did it and I was waiting for other people to change before I can have happiness and before I can have peace. I was waiting for my family to get on my nerves less. But it was me. It wasn't this. It's okay not to be okay. It's not okay to stay there.

Yeah, I love that so much. Now we got connected through someone who I had worked with and she had gotten her guy and she said, oh, I got my guy. Now I got to get my career. And now she was working with you and she's rocking out on that. For other individuals who want to connect with you to level up themselves and therefore level up every other area in their lives, specifically their career as well. How can they get in touch with you?

They can get my free case study@changenowithkrissy.com is C H R I S T Y and then you can join my email list and see all the things that we got going on. We have. I'm actually going to be doing about three to four live events this year. Kind of excited about it now.

Where are those going to be? Girl? Let the people know. Some of them at least.

Yep. Atlanta, dc, Ohio. I got a couple of clients up in Ohio, which is interesting. Two in Atlanta, D.C. and then in Ohio and then we're Going to start migrating over there to the west coast into the Midwest.

But you better, girl, don't discriminate.

You know, I live on the beach. It's hard for me to leave my house.

I know that's right.

To get to Atlanta from the Bahamas is a 90 minute flight. To get from D.C. to the Bahamas is a 90 minute flight.

You hear that, people? Yeah. She lives in the Bahamas, honey. And she's not playing any games. She's living the life.

So yeah. Changenowithkristy.com and I would love to talk to you. Your client got her money too. She just got her raise. We're killing the game over here. So it's not about the money as much as it is about getting your mental and physical health in order. We've saved 20 marriages. I've stopped six women from dying to have a nervous breakdowns. We've gotten women off of high blood pressure medication, cholesterol medication, you know, all these things, but. And that darts from just having peace. But then we've also assisted 20 women double their salaries. And then six women trip, actually eight now triple their salaries. And then four women got seven figure packages. Those seven women just so happen to be black. Right? So the money and the job is the byproduct. So we're giving our jobs and making our jobs our everything. And then we feel like we have nothing. So now I want to teach women how to shift it and make yourself your everything and then the job fits into that. So don't chase the dream job. Create the dream life and let the job do what the job is going to do. And it all typically falls into place.

Thank you so much for being here. This has been so much fun. I'm so excited for all of the gems that have been spilled and given in this session that we. It has been so great to have you. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for inviting me. Thank you for asking me to be here and then rocking with me in my raspiness. But we're gonna make it work.

We love a raspy voice girl over here again, thank you so much. And until next time, everyone. Bye.

Bye. Bye.