Anwar White says skip the instant chemistry obsession. Give a second date if the first went well and watch for slow burn attraction instead. Compatibility and emotional connection matter more than that initial spark, which fades anyway.
Justine said just had a second guy with a guy who is Mexican. We align a lot on things, but not feeling the chemistry. Should I keep pursuing or let it go? If the date was overall positive, have another one again. When you're dating, I want you to focus on the slow burn. So this is about. Does the attraction increase over time? It's not about, is it a nine or a ten? It's about, did we start at a six? This date's a seven. Next date is a seven and a half. Is there an increase there? Most of us are dating based on chemistry, and that is. I think that's a way of dating that's not going to fully serve you, because guess what? One chemistry is literally chemistry. It's chemicals. It's biology. And that shit fades within 18 months.
Right. The other thing is toxic and narcissistic. Guys can have chemistry with anybody. Respectfully, you're not special. So.
I think a lot of us play ourselves in thinking, oh, my God, we had such chemistry. Oh, my God. He's like, we. I feel so good, girl. He's gonna have a date tomorrow and have the same chemistry with the next girl. That's part of his plan. Right. He's practiced in this. So chemistry can't be the only thing. I want us to deprioritize chemistry, focus more on compatibility. I want to focus more on the emotional component.
That's what I help my clients do. Right. Especially for women of color, when maybe.
Feelings and emotions and vulnerability, those things weren't necessarily celebrated or welcomed in your household. That might not be an area that you're focusing on or that you have the emotional confidence to feel good about doing. That's what I help my clients do so that they can also have and prioritize those deeper emotional connections and not just physical connection or intellectual connection. Yeah. So if that's something that's of interest, if that's an opportunity for you, I definitely want to invite you to book a consultation call and see if there's a good fit for us to help you get your guy.
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
