A short dating-coach monologue advising people (particularly women) to avoid putting expectations on dates too early. The speaker recommends observation mode and waiting until day three as an inflection point before forming expectations; warns that the gap between expectations and reality causes disappointment, and that being frequently "triggered" by a partner's behavior prevents finding a healthy relationship. The speaker cites coaching experience (13 years) and claims ~97% of men won’t progress past a physical date; clients often find a partner within one to two months after letting go of triggers.
Questions this video answers
Day three (the inflection point in the courtship phase).
97%.
13 years.
Within one or two months.
Chapters
Expecting people to do what you would do in a situation only leads to your disappointment, not theirs. They're going on with their life, so let people be who they are, and either you accept it or you don't.
So in dating, I want you to accept these guys as they are showing up. One of the things that happens in dating is we have an expectation from the jump, and then reality hits. And the difference between expectations and reality is disappointment. So I tell my clients all the time, girl, don't expect anything from these guys. We're in observation mode. And actually, I don't want you to have any sort of expectations until at least day three. Day three is the inflection point in the courtship phase. And at the end of the day, 97% of the guys will not make it past a physical date. 3. For those people that continue to put expectations on guys that you don't know, realize that you will make dating very hard for yourself. And what will happen, and many of you probably are experiencing this right now, you will go through a start and stop period in dating, and that will kill all of your dating momentum and all of your results. You get to do it a different way. If you are getting triggered by every other thing that a guy is saying, you have your own work to do. You will not find your guy. Please understand that the work in dating is not to be triggered. And when I see my clients not being triggered, I know that they're actually ready to get their guy. But if you find yourself being disappointed every other thing that a guy is saying or doing, please understand that's your focus, that's your work right now. And if you don't get past that, you will not find your guy, and you will not get into a healthy relationship. This is what I've seen as a dating coach for 13 years. Once my clients are able to do that, they can actually get their guy. And most of my clients get their guy within one or two months after they've let go of all the triggers. I hope this helps.
