Anwar White on dating a man who only acts when asked: have a direct conversation about how it makes you feel, give him 2-3 weeks to change, and if nothing shifts, set a firm deadline to end it. The pattern often mirrors mothering dynamics and gender-role imbalance.
Chapters
Dating a man that I have to ask to do everything, where do I draw the line? So if you are having to ask him to do everything, I want to say this with love and respect.
I don't know if he's the one.
I don't know if he's the one. Because your guy's gonna do things, and he's gonna do them without you having to mother him.
He's going to do it because he wants to.
Do it for you, because he wants you to be pleased and satisfied. Right now, you're in the category of good enough. So I don't think he sees all of your amazingness. Paris.
So where do you draw the line? The fact that you're asking a question to a dating coach at midnight on a Sunday, Monday morning, That's the line.
You need to have a conversation with him. You need to say, I don't like having to ask you about these things. It makes me feel X, Y, and Z. And then you need to observe if he's changed his behavior over the next two or three weeks. And if he hasn't, he needs to go, how long have you been with him?
I mean, people are gagged when I'm saying all of this, but it's the truth. If you are in a situation where men are not doing a year. Okay, great. Here. What's today? The 20th? Give him. Tell Cinco de Mayo.
And if he hasn't done Cinco things for you without being asked by Cinco de Mayo, then we say adios. Okay.
Yeah.
I was just doing. Before I went on to this live, I was chatting with one of my clients in her midpoint session, and she's dating a guy who's patient, who does everything for her, and she's never experienced that in her life. And it is because.
She creates excuses and justifications around why, what's okay. So what I have to share with you, Paris, is.
What is it in your lived experience that you think that that sort of relationship is okay?
Now, most women will tell me at this point.
Well, you know, I like being in a relationship, and we have really good moments. Here's what I want to offer to you.
I want to offer to you that you probably have a certain definition of love and being loved, and part of your definition might be telling people what to do because your mother.
Told you what to do.
So that might be your definition of an intimate relationship. And if you are already doing this, I already know that you're probably in your masculine, and you've probably connected with the man that's in his feminine. And the way that you stop that is by stopping your masculine ways because you're trying to make him something that he's not. You've attracted a feminized man and you want him to do things. You want him to be a man when you've been mothering him and he's a 14 year old little boy.
Yeah.
Yeah. So that's what I want to offer to you. And I'm offering this to you because there are multiple people in this chat that probably need to hear that as well.
