A dating coach (Anwar White) warns that using intellectual pursuits (e.g., getting another degree) as a trauma response after relationship loss is harmful: it advances cognition without healing emotions, undermining future romantic relationships. The speaker argues emotional work is necessary for healthy love and invites viewers to book coaching or comment about their own coping habits.
Chapters
All right, I'm gonna go get another degree. I totally get this. I'm of the mindset of, like, if you're gonna mess with my mind, why not take it to the educational system? But here's what I'm seeing, and here's what I think the danger is around doing this, because this is a trauma response, just like gambling and drinking and retail therapy. And it comes from this fact or this fallacy that if I actually solidify my intellectual, then I can also solidify my emotional when my emotional has been rocked. But that logic is the same logic as if you were going to be a surgeon and going to law school to do so. It doesn't work, and it actually hurts you when you do this. You level up the intellectual, so you become 200 years old intellectually, but emotionally, you are still five years old, which doesn't help you in love. In love, you have to level up your heart and your feelings. This is why it's so important to do the work. This is why I'm a dating coach. If you don't do this and you start to level up your intellectual, it will hurt you in love. And the reason why it will hurt you is because your mind, your thoughts, will always justify bad behavior. It will always think of new and different scenarios here or cut people off way too sl soon, when actually you need to be leading with your feelings and your intuition. You can't lead with love, with your intellect. If you want to learn how to do this well, definitely book a call with me, but let me know in the comments. Are you that girl that levels up intellectually when there's some sort of breakup, divorce, or something that happens in your love life?
