Anwar White, a dating coach with 13 years' experience, explains in a short YouTube stitch that common dating questions, vibes, or perceived connection are poor signals. Instead he advises dating like a job interview by assessing whether a man has the skills to be a good boyfriend: discuss changing topical conversation prompts (3–5 weekly subjects) to keep dates fresh, and evaluate conversation ratio, his responses to vulnerability and boundaries, and his behavior between dates. The clip closes with a CTA to comment and book a coaching call.
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Hey, sister. We're rooting for you, girl. Now, I wanted to come on here because I know that so many of us are literally asking the same lame questions while we're dating and it's making things super tiring, super exhausting and not fun at all. Here's the tea, ladies. None of your questions matter when it comes to dating. Why am I saying this? Well, first let me just tell you my name is Anmar White. I'm a dating coach. I've been a dating coach for 13 years for Smart and successful black and brown women. And I'm here to let you know that you got to date differently to get a different result. These questions don't matter because you trying to find commonalities or a connection doesn't matter. First and foremost, what matters, just like when you're interviewing someone for a job, if you is how they're able to do the job. And them interviewing well based on how they answer questions is not going to show you how they do the job. Why? Let me just give you an example. So let's say you're talking to a guy on a date and you ask him, what are you looking for? Well, girl, please know that these guys don't even know what they're looking for. So they're going to give you some canned response because they don't know what they're looking for until they find it. Like, men are different than women, so they like, they don't have a list like many of you have. They don't know. They're going to give you some canned response and keep it moving. Instead of having some canned lame questions. Here's how I want you to approach dating. Whatever three to five subjects that you are talking about with your best friend that week, those are the three to five topics that I want you to discuss while you are on a date with this guy. Okay? It's going to change every week because you're going to be talking about new and different things with your friends. So it means that dating can continue to be fun and interesting and unique. Let me talk about what matters here because the questions don't matter, the vibes don't matter, the connection doesn't matter. What matters is does he have the skills to be a great boyfriend? What I'm looking for, I'm going to give you a little bit of what I give my clients, which is what's the conversation ratio? What are his responses to your vulnerability and your boundaries? And finally what is his behavior between dates? Those are just some of the many things that we need to evaluate to see if he's going to be a great boyfriend. So in the comments below, let me know how you approach dating and how you evaluate your dates. If you're interested in learning how to do this differently, book a call. I hope this helps.