A Black woman vents about emotional labor and lack of support in dating Black men. Dating coach Anwar White suggests widening her pool beyond Black men, which he says excludes 87% of potential partners, and recommends apps like Bumble and OkCupid plus offline tactics like eye contact and asking for help.
Be aware that I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this, but.
I am so effing tired of the amount of emotional labor that comes with dating black men. I am so tired of the lack of commitment, the lack of support, the lack of encouragement, the lack of money. Like, I don't know what to do from this point on.
Okay, girl, so here's what you need to do. You need to date everyone. White, black, East, Asian, Indian, Hispanic. All Everybody. Why? Well, first, let me just tell you. My name is Anwar. I'm a dating coach for women of color. Smart and successful. Women of color at that. I've been a dating coach for 13 years, and I hear this every single day, especially from my black female clients. And here's the thing. So many of us have been conditioned to only focus on black men. And. And it does you a disservice because when you do that, you are literally eliminating 87% of the guys out there, which makes it harder for you to actually find your guy. Let's just date everyone and see who wins. It's literally the Hunger Games up in here. And may the best survive, right? There's a lot of pressure to date black men. And I get that from society, from culture, from even the model of seeing your mother probably date your father and understanding that that is what you're supposed to do in 2023, you get to do it differently. You get to date whoever you want to date and only engage with the people that are going to treat you the best. I know that there's culture and communities saying, we got to keep the black race alive, girl. Every baby that you're going to have is going to be black. That's how you're going to keep the race alive, honey. Okay, let me talk about what we're going to do online and offline, because I know a lot of the ladies I talk to are like, well, how am I going to do this? How am I going to date everybody? Or even interracially online, you want to be on the best interracial sites. Bumble, OkCupid and Match. Yeah. And I want you to engage with everybody, even if they're white and they're okay, girl, I want you to talk to them and see if you got things in common. Because guess what? The non black men are going to be more apt to reach out to you online than they are offline. Offline. A lot of these non black men are not going to approach you because they already think that you have this loyalty to black men and that you're not even checking for them. So what you're going to need to do offline is you're going to have to give them a mad green light, eye contact, smile, even waving, or even starting the conversation by saying hi, giving them a compliment, asking for help, or a recommendation. That's how you're going to start to engage in the conversation and then see where he takes it. But these non black men are not going to be approaching you, and you have to understand that. I hope this helps as you navigate this dating thing in a different way and expand your net, widen your net so that the best person wins. If you need help with that, reach out to me. I'm here to help you navigate your love life in a way that's going to serve you.
