This YouTube interview (Tamara's Love Journey Pt 5) features Tamara describing a breakthrough about self-worth and intimacy. She explains that for a long time she believed her primary value was her body, leading to many one-night stands and sex on first dates; she also recounts being asked (by the interviewer/coach) to abstain from sex for a month as part of changes in how she related to men. Tamara notes mixed beliefs that no one would want her body and later learning that people did.
Chapters
One thing that we had talked about was intimacy and your body. Right. And I think that was something that was, I think a breakthrough for you in terms of how you were interacting with men. Right. Would you mind sharing any part of that that you feel comfortable sharing?
I.
In this whole thing, I realized I just did not have much self worth. And the only thing I thought that I had of worth of value was my body. Even though I personally am not confident in sex, I felt like that was the only thing I had to really offer. And so, so I, I fast forwarded to that a lot of times.
Or I just allowed it to escalate there. Even if I wasn't comfortable enough to get there. I felt that that was all I had to offer, that there was nothing more to Tamara than her body.
So yeah, that was so. Yeah. So a lot of one night stands in my history.
Yes. But we've made some changes for sure.
I remember you taking told me I couldn't have sex for a month. And I was like, what?
Because prior to you, I, I was, I was dating.
And I went on a few dates, but with all of the dates I had sex on the first date and. But then nothing ever happened after.
And I had got into my head that it was, oh, like people want to have sex with me because I. There was also like this idea in my head that no one would want to have sex with me. And there's a deeper reason to that, which I don't, I don't want, I don't think I want to get into that one, but there's a deeper reason. And so I thought that no one would want my body.
And then I learned that people did want my body, even if they knew. And so.
So yeah, so that not having sex for a month and I was like.
