A short YouTube monologue by Anwar White arguing the single most important factor for dating success is becoming emotionally available. The speaker explains that most dating-age men are emotionally avoidant, that like attracts like (emotionally unavailable people pair together), and that childhood exposure to emotionally unavailable parents can normalize those patterns. The clip closes with practical advice to cultivate emotional availability and an offer to book a consultation.
Chapters
Hey, girl, there is one thing that you need to focus on when it comes to dating. And girl, it's not discernment. So sorry about it, Pastors. Sorry about it. All those guys that are telling you that you just need to have better discernment because that is not. Is all about emotional availability. And the reason I say that is because let's break it down. Most of the guys that are secure or in relationships, most of the anxious guys in terms of attachment, are hung up on one or two women and they're not really out there like that. So most of the dating guys out there are avoidant. So I tell you that to let you know that externally you're not attracting emotionally avoidant or unavailable men. That's just the majority of the actual pool. So. So I want to offer that to you. That's externally. Internally though, girl, there's a different issue happening. The one thing that I want you to focus on is emotional availability because most of us are emotionally unavailable and avoidant. So what does that mean? It means that actually it's like, attracts like. It's like science class in fourth grade. So you're emotionally unavailable, you're gonna attract guys that are also emotionally unavailable. Right. Why? Because they don't require you to be emotionally available. So it's actually an easier relationship for you. That's number one. But number two, it goes much deeper than that. Because if you've grown up in a household where your parents were emotionally unavailable, and this is especially true for black and brown people, then this is going to become your emotional bonding pattern in your definition of love. And subconsciously, you are going to try to rewrite the way in which you had a relationship with your parents and their emotional unavailability in these people, thinking that you can change them and that you are inherently worthy of love. Because when you were growing up, you didn't feel that because of the emotional unavailability of your parents. Why that is a problem. It's a problem because these people are emotionally unavailable. So they're never going to fill that void, which completely.
Puts validation in this thought in your head that you're not worthy of love. And it makes dating so much more painful. Girl, your focus is getting emotionally available so that all of the people, all of the guys that are emotionally unavailable are such a turn off for you that you're not even giving them the time of day. Once you focus on that, you are going to kill it and dating. And if you need help with that, definitely book a consultation call and we'll get you right, girl. Alrighty. I hope this helps.
