Thriving in Love in 2023

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week, you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can. You guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

Hello, my loves. And thank you so much for joining the getyourguy coaching podcast. I am so, so happy that we have made it to 2023. Happy New Year to you all. And I thought this would be a really great time for me to go through some of my top seven tips so that you can be thriving in dating and in love in 2023. Y' all know me. I'm not gonna beat around the bush. We're gonna get right into it, honey. Get into that nitty gritty. So, number one, I need you to get online. I need you to get online now. Why? Because, girl, the first three weeks of January are when most of the men are gonna be online because of New Year's resolutions. So I need you to be there meeting them. And, girl, January 8th, this Sunday is the super bowl of online dating for the year. So get your profiles together, get your pictures together, and get on these apps. Honey, get on match, get on OkCupid, get on Hinge, get on Coffee meets Bage. Honey, we are doing it in 2023, okay? So get online. Number two, I need you actually to block all your exes and even the guys that you didn't actually. You weren't actually in a relationship with, but you talked to, but it didn't work out. I need you to block all access to them. Why? Well, girl, they're coming out of the Woodworks second half of December. They're coming out of the Woodworks in the first half of January because it's a new year and they think that, hey, why don't we start something new again that something fresh. Girl, no. At the end of the day, he's coming back because nobody wanted him. And if nobody wants him, then you shouldn't want him either. Block them. When you hang and you allow these exes and the past to be in your heart space, it's going to be really hard for you to find your person in the future. That's why I'm telling you this as well. Okay? So that's number two. Number three, girl, we're in a dating recession. Economic recession equals dating Recession. So that means that we're going to have to get a little bit stricter. Why am I talking about recessions? I'm talking about recessions because men self actualize through their career. So if their career is in danger, they're going to lean more into their career and less into some of the other things. Which means that they're not going to be focused on dating as much as well as they're going to be taking a long time to try to get to know you before they actually take you out on a date. These are the guys that you don't want to go out with. So if they're not asking you out within a week, girl, we got to let them go. What we're not going to do in 2023 is play pen pals. We're not doing that. So we got to be stricter. The men, your guy who wants you is not going to stutter. He's not going to hesitate to take you out within the first week or at least make plans within that first week. So we're going to have to get a bit stricter because in any recession, it's about kind of tightening up your purse strings. And these guys will do saying when it comes to dating. And so we don't want to be with those guys. All right, number four, I'm going to need you to incorporate two new activities into your life. Why? Because, girl, I know some of you are tired of the apps, even though I still want you to be on them, but because when you are getting out of the house, you're going to meet people and these activities that I want you to incorporate are activities that I want to be passions of yours, things that light you up. The T is when you're out and about and you're living your best life and people see you doing passionate things, you're going to radiate and it's going to be magnetic and you're going to attract amazing people because you're going to be in your element and you're going to be on. I want you to be able to meet new and different people. So figure out what those things are. And if those things aren't coming to your mind, think about the things that you love to do between the ages of 8 and 12. Those are the things that I need you to be doing now. Because part of dating and being successful in dating is also being free and letting go and letting it be easy and almost being childlike. So many of us are so responsible right now that we've forgotten the Little girl that has so much fun, gotta have fun in dating for you to be successful in it. So, girl, let's have some fun. Okay, number five, I'm gonna need you to start being your full, authentic self in this dating life. Girl, so many of us are conditioned to perform for men. We can't do that. I need you to take on a different mindset when you're dating these men. And I have two different frames for you to think about as you're dating. First frame that I have is think about a date as a time for you to actually catch up with an old high school friend that you don't know anything about. But there's a level of familiarity there that you just talk in your ish, girl, just like you would with friends and family. That's the real you that they need to see so that they can make an accurate determination of whether they want to be with you or not. So many of us are interviewing the same way we would at a company and not giving our true face and our true selves. Girl, we got to stop that. So we're going to act like as if, you know, this is an old high school friend. That's frame number one. Frame number two is, girl, pretend you're on vacay. There isn't a coincidence that you literally will meet a ton of people when you're on vacay because you're laissez faire. You're doing your own thing. You're making it happen. You're making it work. You're in your head. You're like, girl, I'm never going to see these people again. So I'm just going to do me. Literally, in dating and your everyday dating life, it's the same thing. You probably won't see these people again. So, girl, do you and have a lot of fun and talk your ish and be the fabulous you that you are. So these are two frames, two mindsets that you can incorporate into your dating life so you can have more fun and also more success. Because so many of us are just surviving dating. We're not thriving. And I want that to be different in 2023. The other thing that I want you to do, and this is number six, is I want us to learn how to lean into our feminine energy and stay boundaried up. As a woman of color, it's interesting. There is a history around being in our masculine energy and not having boundaries. And I'm most reminded of that scene in the color purple where Ms. Sophia, played by Oprah, says, no to the white woman who asks her to work for her. And what many of you may not know is that it was actually illegal to say no to to white women. This is for black women. If they ask these black women to work for them, that's why she was jailed. It was actually in law. I'm telling you all of this because I think it's important for us to understand that black women had to work. They had to be out of the house. They could not be in their feminine energy. Not your grandmother, not your great grandmother, not your great great grandmother. This is where your masculine energy is coming from. And this is why you are raised in a way to hold tight to that. There are generational traumas and pathologies that continue generation after gener generation. But in 2023, we get to break that. We get to do things a different way. We have the most opportunity that our foremothers didn't have. So we get to have a choice. And when you don't actually lean into that choice, you are not taking full advantage of all of the sacrifices that our foremothers gave to us. So, girl, you get to choose to be in your feminine energy. You get to share your feelings instead of your thoughts. You don't have to do everything. You get to allow people to do things for you. And I want you to make that choice, Especially if you're looking for a masculine, energetic man, which most of you are masculine. And masculine doesn't work. So we have to learn how to be in our feminine energy if we want to attract a masculine, energetic man. Boundaries. When I think about that scene and about that law of black women having to work for white women, I am immediately taken to the fact that none of our foremothers had boundaries. They couldn't with anyone in the world, not at home, not outside of the home. And so it is very obvious to me why it is very hard for many black women or women of color to actually have boundaries, state their boundaries and feel comfortable and confident setting those boundaries. You're not programmed or raised to have them, which means that you've got to do the work and be in practice of setting your boundaries in real time. When something doesn't feel right to you, you get to say, hey, that hurts my feelings, or hey, that didn't feel good to me, or hey, I don't like how you treated me here. Here's how I prefer to be treated. And if they don't respect those boundaries, we get to step away and walk away from the relationship. Please realize that when you are leaning into your feminine energy and setting those boundaries, you will lose relationship. Take that as a because those relationships were not there to serve you to begin with. Those relationships were there to take from you. And what I know for sure, this happens with my clients all the time. In my program, about a third of their relationships are going to go down. But realize that is just creating space for your guy in 2023 to treat you like the queen that you are. So set those boundaries and sit in that feminine energy, girl. And finally, number seven, I want you to get mentoring now. Yes, girl, you can get mentoring and dating and dating coaching. I'd love to work with you if you don't. If you're not feeling me, that's great too. I have a laund list of amazing dating coaches that might be a good fit. So email me@anwartyourguycoaching.com if you want that list. I'll definitely send it to you. Ultimately, mentoring is where it's at. Why? Because I want you to level up. How we do one thing is how we do everything. If you're leveling up and you're getting coaching in career or finances or in health, it's going to have positive results for your dating life as well. Yes, you can get dating coaching and mentoring, but girl, get mentoring in other places. It's going to do wonders for your dating life. It's also going to help you get into the habit of asking for help. Because ultimately, to be successful in relationships, you're going to have to ask for help. You're going to have to be vulnerable, which is, hey, I'm not feeling so great sometimes. And that is going to be an implicit ask for help to help me feel better. It's going to help you with your vulnerability. It's going to help you with communication. So mentoring and asking for help is going to pay wonders for your love life. All right, to summarize, I'm going to need you to get online right now. I'm going to need you to block all your exes and all of the people that you talked to before. I'm going to need you to realize that this is a recession and we're going to need to be stricter. We will not be pen palling with men more than a week. I'm going to need you to incorporate two new activities in the wild, in civilization, things that you are passionate about. I'm going to need you to take on a new frame and alter ego like Sasha Fierce. Whether it is vacay mode or old high school friend mode while you are dating to help them get to see your full, authentic self. I'm going to need you to lean into that feminine as well as set those boundaries. And then finally, I'm going to need you to get some mentoring. And you can do that with me or you can do that with someone else. In terms of mentoring with me, I have two specific programs. I have a mastermind program which has more direct coaching from me and more accountability, which is at a higher price point. And I also have the get yout Guy club which is more access with my coaches and in a group container and at a lower price point. Girl, we are serving everybody this year. Whatever your level of accountability is and whatever your budget is, girl, there is going to be a place for you and we're going to help you get your guy. All right, my loves. Have an amazing 2023. Girl, get your guy. Bye. Hey girl. Thank you so much for listening to the get your Guy Coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com. apply or subscribe and leave me a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, talk.