A short YouTube monologue (Anwar White, Feb 8, 2025) giving practical dating advice for women considering relationships with men who have children. Key themes in this chunk: assessing a father's time-management and prioritization, emotional legacies of childhood neglect shaping needs for attention, and guidance for parents dating (e.g., disclosing children in profiles and separating ‘mother’ identity from ‘woman’ identity).
Chapters
Courtney said, what is it? Advice on women with no kids dating a man with kids. Two kids. Exactly. In their 30s. What advice do I have? I need more information than that girl. Y' all give me some specific questions. Okay.
What I would say is I want to make sure that he is able to manage his time because at the end of the day, I would want each and every one of you to be a man's top priority.
I think a lot of women are hesitant to date men with children because they don't want to feel like they are playing second fiddle to his children. And you get to feel that way. By the way.
A lot of us, especially if you're a black or brown woman, oftentimes will have a neglect wound. Growing up because our parents worked so much and then when they came home, they were super tired. And then we just felt like, I'm a burden, I'm a bother, and if you felt that way, give me a hashtag.
Neglect in the chat. And then. So now there's like a sensitivity around. I need. I need you to see me. I need you to. I need you to give me that quality time that I. I desperately need and deserve that I didn't get when I was a kid. Totally honor that. Get that some of us had books and TV that raised us.
Because there was just no parent at home.
Yeah.
Abel said, when is the right time to mention that you have a child? Well, if you're dating online, you should have it in your pro, like in your profile in the menu that says do you have any children? Then you select has children. But here's the thing. When you're dating and you're a parent, don't be talking about being a mother, don't be talking about your kids. Unless he brings it up. He wants to date a woman, he doesn't want to date a mother. So you're going to have to take your mother hat off and put your woman hat on.
A lot of us when you, especially when you're a parent, your whole identity is wrapped in being a parent, a mother. And it can hurt you in dating because if you're mothering a man, you're going to attract more feminized men that are looking for a mother. And you won't be finding and attracting men that are in their masculine energy. And that's a problem. Yeah. Because those feminized men are looking to take from you, not give.
