Anwar White argues that performing the 'good girl' in dating—overgiving, auditioning, pretending to be pious—backfires. Being a 'bad girl' means showing your full self, staying detached from outcomes, and enjoying the present instead of auditioning for men.
Chapters
I hope that that's helpful for you because that's what we're giving right now. That's what we have to give. Too many of you are acting like Christian school girls, waiting, thinking that like, if you do everything really good, you're gonna go to heaven, girl. If you do everything good in dating, you're gonna go to hell. The bad girls, the girls who embrace the totality of who they are, the dark and the light parts of themselves, they're the ones that go to dating heaven.
Yeah.
Someone said there's no heaven. Well, on this earth, girl, because it's hell. So.
So I want to just offer that to you. If you're a good girl in dating, you go into hell. I should have did this. I should have did this live on Sunday, girl. Because it's, it's a word. And for the, those that are getting it, they understand. What do I mean? Jasmine said. Can you elaborate? In dating, it's not. When you're a good girl, you are, you're going to be acting like everybody's wife and you're going to be giving too much to people.
And then you're going to get used and taken advantage of. And because you're giving so much, you're going to be so invested in each and everybody that you are talking to. And ultimately most guys are not going to be your person.
Okay?
You're nobody's wife.
You'Re nobody's girlfriend. You're just dating.
And so a lot of people, they audition for men.
And they're like, oh my God, if I play like the perfect woman and I say the perfect thing and I look the perfect part and I have my, I have my hair prester perm, I have the perfect blue bust down weave, right, that he's gonna wife me.
Just like if I go to Bible study and I pray and I read the Bible every day and I don't drink and I don't have sex, that I'm gonna go to heaven.
It's the same thing.
And I'm not shading you.
But what I am saying is we got to do it differently.
We got to detach from what we think the ultimate result is going to be and live in the here and now and just have fun.
Okay?
That's how you're going to shift your dating reality.
