A YouTube monologue by Anwar White critiquing sapiosexuality as potentially masking emotional unavailability. The speaker argues that evaluating partners requires assessing physical, intellectual, emotional, and financial traits, and emphasizes emotional intelligence as especially vital for Black and Brown women whose childhoods may have lacked emotional support.
Chapters
Poison said. Is it more challenging for a sapiosexual or a demisexual? Can we talk about sapiosexuals for a second?
Thank you so much for this, by the way, this hat and mustache.
A lot of people who say that they are.
Really attracted to intellect. When I hear that, when they say, oh my God, I'm sapiosexual, it lets me know that we might be emotionally unavailable.
What it means is.
You put so much weight on the intellect that you might be overcompensating for it. Because we don't have the emotional capacity.
To be able to be vulnerable, hold space, all of that which is very important in a relationship.
Okay.
It's really cute to say that. I'm going to say biosexual. But when we're evaluating men, we have to evaluate them on the physical, the intellectual, the emotional and the financial.
Okay.
I'm sharing this with you because I have a lot of my clients who are black and brown women.
What I've noticed is that they're dating based on the little girl that they were and not the grown woman that they are now.
Because relationships and dating, this is about emotion. This isn't about intellect. Honey, I went. I went to nothing but Ivy League institutions.
Boarding schools, the best of the best. Those boys, those men.
Smartest men in the country.
Horrible people. Now what?
Now what? Who cares if he's smart? Who cares if he's intelligent? It matters how he treats you. Does he have the emotional capacity, sensitivity, to hold space for you or not?
This is important here.
No shade girl. But if you, if you looking for intellectual stimulation, have a conversation with Chatgpt.
They'll get you right.
Emotional intelligence is everything for a black and brown woman because she rarely got it growing up.
The things you don't get get when you're growing up are the things that you actually need in your adult romantic relationships.
