Anwar White explains how predatory men test boundaries through jokes and casual cruelty. She warns against the 'lover girl' dynamic where women do favors and tolerate disrespect, and advises refusing uncomfortable behavior early, before it escalates.
In my left said my boyfriend joked about punching me and we broke up after I told him to stop because I don't like his humor. Great, you should break up. He's. That was a test. If you were okay with that joke. That was predator tea.
Men don't joke with you.
Men don't joke with you.
Everything they say, they mean.
Okay? And they will test you. If they're predators, they'll ask you to do something.
They'll say things like, oh, can you take me to the airport? Or maybe if you're on a date, they might drop something and see if you pick it up for them. That's why if you're a girl who does too much and you do things for other people, you are going to be catnip for these predators. Don't do anything for a man in the courtship.
Don't laugh at jokes that make you feel uncomfortable. Don't say silent, set the boundary. That joke made me feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, I don't feel good when you say those sorts of things to me.
Keep on his mother effing neck.
Okay? Y' all keep on saying lover girl. They don't think about it as lover girl. They think about it as like a second class citizen. That you're there to do work for them.
That you work for them. When you give to them.
They think, okay, she doesn't value herself so I can do whatever I want with her. I'll make her do anything.
Yeah.
Yeah. Don't try to audition for men.
The lover girl situation, that's the worst thing yet. You can be.
Lover girls get hurt, taken advantage of.
Okay?
They will use you, but you've already used yourself with your labor and your availability.
Yeah.
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
