Anwar White explores what it means when a guy says he wants to spoil you, examining the emotional dynamics behind gift-giving in relationships and how parental absence shaped expectations for Black and brown women.
What Trisha said. What do I say to a man? If he says he wants to spoil me, let him.
Tell him. Show me what you got.
Let him spoil you.
And see and see if it feels good.
Here's the thing, though.
Gifts don't mean anything.
He can spoil you with gifts and spoil you financially, but I also want him to be able to spoil you intellectually and emotionally as well.
The gag is, and for a lot of women, and I want to just honor my black and brown women that are here, right? Especially if you started from the bottom, now you're here. What will happen is a lot of our parents, because of racism, sexism, have had to work much harder. So what that means is that because they're working more hours, they're not at home as much, which means that they don't have as much quality time for us. So what they will do is they will kind of compensate for the lack of time and attention with gifts. That's why you might get a lot of gifts on Christmas or on your birthday or just in general. And so what happens is that some.
Some men will do this to try to kind of control you and play on that trigger, right? And so if you know that you have that trigger or that trauma, please clear. That neglect wound up.
And most of us have it, but we're not talking about it. If you are uncomfortable with wanting attention and being able to admit that you want or need attention, you probably have a neglect wound.
Okay?
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
